Andiron Tales. Bangs John Kendrick
the Fates have made me Me."
"Hullo!" cried the Righthandiron.
"Halloa!" called the Lefthandiron.
"That's not my name," came the voice of the Poker from behind a cloud just above Tom's head. "But I know who you mean, so I answer Halloa yourself."
"Where are you?" cried Lefty.
"Here," called the Poker.
"No, you're not," called Righty. "You're there. We are here."
"Well, that's neither here nor there," retorted the Poker, poking his head out through the cloud. "Hullo! Who have you got there? That isn't Tom, is it?"
"No—it's Sleepyhead D. Dormouse," laughed Lefty.
"Good," said the Poker, advancing and shaking Tom by the hand. "I was afraid it was Tom. Not that I dislike Tom, for I don't. I think he is one of the nicest boys I know—but he weighs a good fifty-seven pounds, and so far we haven't been able to get a cloud strong enough to support more than fifty-six. If Tom were to come up here and sit on a cloud he'd fall through, and if he fell through, you know what would happen."
"No, I don't," said Tom, to whom the Poker's remarks were addressed. "What would happen?"
"Well, in the first place, it would spoil the cloud, and in the second place, if he tumbled into the sea he'd have to swim ashore," said the Poker, sagely. "That's why I am glad you're young Mr. Dormouse, and not Tom. Dormice can sit on the flimsiest clouds we have and not break through."
"What is a Dormouse anyhow?" asked Tom, to whom it now occurred for the first time that he had never seen a Dormouse.
"Ho!" jeered Righty, as Tom asked the question. "The idea of not knowing what a Dormouse is!"
"He's a mouse with a door to him, of course," said Lefty.
"Which he keeps closed," said the Poker, "so that he will not be disturbed while he is asleep."
Tom tried to imagine what a creature of that sort looked like, but he found it difficult. Not liking to appear stupid he accepted the explanation.
"Oh!" he said. "It must be a very pretty animal."
"Oh, yes!" said the Poker. "But he isn't as pretty as I can be when I try. My, how pretty I can be—but say, Andies, where are we bound this trip?"
"We've left that to Sleepyhead to decide," said Lefty.
"In the usual way of course?" queried the Poker.
"Oh, yes! He can't decide except as we want him to and have it go as a real decision. We've given him his choice of watching the world go round, going to Saturn or taking the long jump."
"And which will it be, Dormy?" asked the Poker.
"I sort of think I'd like to sit up here and watch the world go round," said Tom.
"Nope," said Righty.
"Then let's go to Saturn," suggested Tom.
"Oh, no!" said Righty. "Not that."
"Then there's only one thing left," said Tom, with a sigh, "and that's the long jump—whatever that is."
Tom's three companions roared with laughter.
"Absurd!" cried Righty. "The idea. The long jump the only thing left! Ha, ha, ha!"
"Perfect nonsense," laughed Lefty. "I never thought Dozy Pate could be so dull."
"Well, he isn't anything like as dull as I can be when I try," said the Poker. "He's pretty dull, though."
"I don't see where the joke comes in," snapped Tom, who did not at all like the way the Andirons and the Poker were behaving. "If there are only three things we can do and you won't do two of them there's only one left."
"Ha, ha, ha!" roared Lefty.
"Poor dull Dormouse," said Righty, with a smile that was half of mirth and half sympathy.
"You are evidently a Dormouse with very little education, Dormy," said the Poker. "If there are three apples on a plate, one red, one green and one white and you are told to take your pick of the lot there are four things you can do, not three."
"What are they?" asked Tom, meekly.
"You can take a red one, a white one, a green one, or all three. See?"
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