Book Club Reads: 3-Book Collection: Yesterday’s Sun, The Sea Sisters, Someone to Watch Over Me. Amanda Brooke
effort to fill their mouths with food.
‘It’s nice to have a home-cooked meal. You don’t know how much I’ve missed being home,’ Tom told them all.
‘And we’ve missed you,’ Holly replied. She was staring intently at Tom but from the corner of her eye, she could see beyond him and into the garden. She could see the pale form of the moondial in its dustsheet glowing in the twilight like an ever-present ghost.
Holly sipped her wine, listening intently as Tom described his time in Haiti. The experience had left its mark and it was going to take a long time before he’d be able to put it all behind him, if he ever could. Holly was more certain than ever that putting off telling Tom about the moondial was the right thing to do.
‘It’s just so frightening to see lives and communities wiped out in one single event,’ he was telling Jocelyn.
‘None of us can take life for granted,’ agreed Holly sadly.
Jocelyn gave Holly a guarded look but said nothing.
‘I’m sure this chicken didn’t see it coming,’ Jack said, laughing at his own joke until his wife prodded him.
‘It’s a lovely conservatory,’ Diane said, trying to move the conversation to safer ground.
‘Yes, Billy’s done a lovely job,’ agreed Jocelyn.
‘We came up with the design together,’ Tom said proudly. ‘Mostly Billy, I have to admit. And then of course there was my dear wife’s interference. The doors were supposed to be at the side, but Holly changed the plans at the last minute.’
‘Yes,’ added Holly, ‘you can always change plans or they can be changed for you. Makes me wonder why we bother with them in the first place.’
Her head was becoming a fuzzy mess, a mixture of too much wine and a growing realization that she really had so little control over her future. Tears were welling in her eyes and she became aware that the others had fallen silent and were all looking at her with growing concern. She hadn’t cried since the fateful trip to Hardmonton Hall and she had hoped she had contained her tears once more, but they never seemed to be too far from the surface. ‘If you’ll excuse me, I think I need a glass of water,’ she said, jumping up and quickly heading out to the kitchen.
She took a long drink of water as she tried to clear the fog in her head.
‘Hol, what’s wrong?’ Tom had followed her out and he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his head on her shoulder.
‘I just don’t think I like plans any more. You can’t always assume that you can have everything you want in life. Life doesn’t work like that.’
‘Is this about our five-year plan? Have you changed your mind?’ asked Tom. He kept his tone light but his body had tensed.
Holly didn’t answer him. She needed to be sober to have that particular conversation and preferably when they weren’t in the middle of entertaining guests.
‘Please tell me you still want a baby,’ Tom persisted. He was used to Holly’s reluctance but he had obviously assumed that all her doubts had been put to rest now their plans for the future had been committed to paper.
Holly turned to face him, a swell of anger in her throat as she sensed herself being forced into a corner. ‘I want to be a mother, yes. I want that with all my heart. But why do we always have to want more? Why can’t we just appreciate what we have now?’ she hissed, trying to keep her voice low.
‘Do you think I don’t know that? After what I’ve seen?’ Tom countered.
‘Then you should know that you can’t count on the people you love being around tomorrow.’
They stood glaring at each other for the longest time. It was Holly who broke the silence first. ‘I’m sorry,’ she gasped, ‘can we not do this now?’
Tom sighed and gently kissed Holly on her forehead. ‘You lead the way,’ he said with a flourish of his hand, pointing the way back to their guests.
There was gentle laughter rippling around the dining table but Tom and Holly brought their awkward silence into the room with them.
‘Are you all right, Holly?’ Diane asked.
‘A little bit too much cooking wine, I think,’ Holly admitted. She lifted up her glass of water and tried to let go of her anger and fear, but once again the ghostly shroud in the garden caught her attention. If only the moondial would loosen its grip.
‘I expect it’s taking a while getting used to this lean and keen stranger who just appeared on your doorstep,’ replied Diane.
‘Hey, I’m no stranger,’ challenged Tom.
‘No stranger than usual,’ Holly added. Their eyes met for the first time since returning to their guests. A wordless apology passed between them and as everyone laughed at her joke, Holly sensed the tension leaving the room.
Diane was next to have a go at Tom’s looks. ‘You have lost a fair bit of weight on this trip, but at least your hair’s starting to grow back. I never thought I’d say this, but after years of nagging you about the knots and tats in your hair, I think I actually miss the long-haired Tom.’
‘Me too,’ smiled Holly. ‘But any version of Tom is better than none.’
‘Hear, hear,’ Jocelyn said, raising her glass. ‘He looks pretty tasty to me.’
‘Tastier than this dinner anyway,’ muttered Holly. ‘But you’ll be pleased to know that Jocelyn has provided the dessert. Anyone hungry?’
The afternoon ebbed away with no more cross words. Tom and Holly said their goodbyes to their guests as the final rays of sunlight gave up the ghost for the night.
‘Tell me truthfully,’ Tom asked as they closed the front door. ‘Are you having doubts about our relationship? Is that what you meant about not being here tomorrow? Because if you are, I won’t give up without a fight.
I love you, Holly, and if my being away is causing a rift between us, then I’ll stop. I don’t want to lose you.’
‘I know you don’t,’ replied Holly with a truth that Tom couldn’t begin to understand, not yet, hopefully not ever. ‘I just think we spend too much time looking to the future, looking at what’s missing, instead of appreciating what we have now. I don’t want you to ever look back and think, hey, I was happy then and I didn’t even know it, I had my wife, I had my dreams and it was enough.’
Tom looked at her with a deep intensity that made Holly feel uneasy, as if he was looking deep into her soul and was about to uncover the secrets she was keeping from him. He seemed to be struggling to find the words so he simply wrapped her in his arms and held on tightly. ‘Right now, Holly, you’re right. This is enough. This is more than enough.’
‘Move your hand a little bit. Ooh, that’s good. Now just a little bit more,’ Holly said with growing excitement. ‘No, no, not that much. Now move to the left a bit. Slowly does it, nearly there. That’s it, that’s it. Don’t move!’
‘I’m getting tired,’ groaned Tom.
‘Stop complaining, we’ve only just started.’
‘This wasn’t exactly how I imagined spending my time at home. Semi-naked, yes. Experimenting with lots of positions, yes. Standing in the middle of your studio, holding a plastic doll? Not exactly part of my plan.’
‘We’ve already wasted a whole weekend in bed,’ Holly reminded him.
‘Wasted?’
Holly grinned and acknowledged every aching muscle in her satiated body. ‘OK, not wasted. Trouble is, I may be able to take time off from the teashop while you’re