Aromatherapy for Women: How to use essential oils for health, beauty and your emotions. Maggie Tisserand

Chapter Three

       SEXUALITY AND SENSUALITY

      Healthy sexual organs are a prerequisite to full sexual expression. Who feels sexy when they’ve got thrush? Who wants to make love when they are experiencing the pain and discomfort of gonorrhoea? Genital health is important to our appreciation of sex and should be of primary concern. Because the genital organs have such sensitivity, we are equipped with a precision instrument by which we can monitor our body’s health.

      For example, if thrush did not cause itching and an unpleasant discharge, how would we know that we had a problem with candida? And if cystitis did not produce a burning pain on urinating how would we know that we had an infection of the bladder or kidneys? A painless discharge may well be overlooked, but it could indicate that we are allergic to a particular food, and we could reason that our body’s reaction in this way is indicative of a problem on an internal level; a problem which we cannot see. We should be glad that our body is speaking to us, and then work towards finding and curing the cause of the problem, not just mitigating the symptoms; this is like ignoring the red warning light in your car, which is advising you that the oil level is dangerously low. You can either stop driving and buy a litre of engine oil, or you can continue driving and take the risk of wrecking the entire engine.

      Clearing up any vaginal problems will certainly help you attain a relaxed and comfortable sex life. It is also important to be relaxed and comfortable with your method of contraception. If drugs and IUDs are abhorrent to you, the remaining choices are diaphragms and sheaths, not forgetting of course, rhythm, temperature charts, and abstinence.

      Many more women would use sheaths and diaphragms if it were not for the fact that the spermicidal covering can sometimes cause vaginal irritation and soreness. Of all the many and varied sheaths on the market, very few are free of spermicides, but there are some and your chemist will be able to give you advice. Sheaths are very often disliked by men, which then puts the responsibility for birth control with women. Many women use the diaphragm, which has other disadvantages, apart from needing to be used with spermicide; one that spontaneity is hampered as the diaphragm must be fitted in advance of intercourse, and removed after 8 hours. However, there is a new diaphragm which I have recently found out about, and which seems excellent. It is called the ‘Honey Cap’, and is one of the most ‘natural’ and unobtrusive methods of contraception. When not in use, it is placed in a pot of honey, and as honey is anti-bacterial this is the only form of protection it needs. The ‘honey cap’ is just rinsed in lukewarm water before insertion, and may be left in place for up to seven days at a stretch. During this time it is permissible to bathe and swim, which gives the wearer even greater freedom. The success rate of the ‘honey cap’ is comparable to the sheath or the regular diaphragm, but it would seem to me to offer women 100 per cent more freedom and confidence, and is absolutely perfect for those women (and their partners) who are sensitive to chemical spermicides or who wish to use a more ‘natural’ contraception.

      APHRODISIACS

      Assuming that our body is functioning properly, the next important factor is being ‘in the right mood’ and it is here that essential oils can play a useful and welcome role. Our sense of smell is closely linked to receptors in the brain which regulate the bodily functions, and of our five senses, it is the one which has the closest link to our emotions. We can be ‘turned off’ or ‘turned on’ by what we smell even more so than by what we see, after all it is easy to close our eyes and let imagination take over, but we cannot close off our sense of smell. Aromatherapy can literally ‘spice up’ your love life when certain essences are employed. There are many essences which excite the senses and register in the brain as being a ‘turn on’; these include ylang-ylang, jasmine, sandalwood, patchouli, rose and clary sage. All of these essences make an ideal aromatic bath (aphro-matic bath) and may be used singly or in combinations of two or three. Just mix and blend until you find the aroma which is right for you. Sprinkling the essences around your room would be a beautiful way to ‘create the right atmosphere’, or add a few drops of your chosen oils to a bowl of hot water. Your favourite essence could also be worn as an all-over body perfume when added to jojoba oil, but an increasingly popular way to utilize the power of sensuous oils is by making your own massage oil. A massage between lovers is sensual and highly enjoyable, and when using a specially concocted massage oil (see recipe) to massage the back, legs, arms and so on, the result is physical relaxation and sexual stimulation. As the mucous membranes of the genitals are extremely sensitive, it is not advisable to use the massage oil in that area; however, the use of sandalwood here is completely safe, and will create a very pleasant sensation.

      We are all sensual beings, created to give and receive pleasure, and each of us has an inbuilt flame of passion. Sometimes the pressures of surviving in this crazy world descend like a wet blanket to smother that flame, so that we can’t imagine how good it was to be consumed by fire. When you are feeling this way, a long lingering ylang-ylang bath helps to remove that blanketed feeling, allowing you to feel once again, like a total woman.

      TEA FOR TWO!

      I am not talking here about tea and biscuits with a neighbour while discussing the weather, but drinking an aphrodisiac tea when you are alone with your partner. Either green tea or black tea may be used, although green tea is preferable, owing to its delicate flavour and beautiful colour. One or two teaspoonfuls of tea leaves should be placed in a teapot. Put one drop of jasmine oil into the pot and add 3–4 cups of hot water. Serve immediately, and observe. The taste and aroma is exquisite and quite different from the jasmine tea which we can buy in packets from supermarkets. This is a practical and easily-made ‘love-potion’ and should be used with caution! A further caution must be to use only a quality essence. Jasmine is expensive to produce as well as to buy, and the obvious temptation to adulterate the oil must be considered. You probably will not be able to purchase good quality jasmine oil in the high street because of the high cost of the oil, but jasmine oil is available through reputable aromatherapy companies.

      ANAPHRODISIAC

      Just as certain essences can stimulate the senses, so the sedative oils can diminish them. I am sure that those people who do not believe in aphrodisiacs would also disbelieve the possibility of there being an anaphrodisiac. However, marjoram oil – as well as being a strong sedative – has the power to turn off sexual desire.

      Marjoram may be diluted in a base oil for use in back massage; added to a bath for an evening soak; or a few drops sprinkled onto a burner so that the aroma is diffused into the room.

      PERFUME YOUR LINGERIE

      To give your lingerie your own ‘personality’, try adding one drop of your favourite essence to the final rinsing water, the next time you hand wash. Some oils, such as patchouli are a little too dark and heavy, but ylang-ylang, geranium, myrtle, jasmine or neroli will be fine.

      You can scent your drawers and wardrobe with your favourite aromas. If you don’t sew, simply sprinkle some essential oil onto a cotton-wool ball, place inside a greaseproof bag, prick holes in the bag and place it in a drawer, or pin it to the inside of your wardrobe. If you do sew, beautiful gifts could be made for friends or lovers, by making silk pomanders. Just cut a circle of silk or other light fabric (12 cm in diameter). Run a thread around the circumference, then place a ball of cotton wool sprinkled with your favourite essence or essences in the centre of the material, and gather the material, so that you have an aromatic ball. Finish