Cooking Without Made Easy: All recipes free from added gluten, sugar, yeast and dairy produce. Barbara Cousins
It’s not for me to judge if Jane did the right thing. Only her soul knows if she is on the right path, but I can’t help wondering what would have happened if Jane had been able to stay with the diet and detoxification.
The last few case histories have been about women getting in touch with their feelings and having sufficient power to act upon them, but I haven’t yet talked about men. At present, the world is going through a great metamorphosis and this is affecting men as well as women. In the past, women were seen as nurturers and men as achievers. Now this is changing and the change is causing a lot of confusion, pain and loneliness. Men and women are becoming more androgynous and becoming whole within themselves – sometimes receptive, sometimes assertive. Relationships between men and women are changing to one of mutual understanding, companionship and growth. We are learning to talk to each other as equals and human beings instead of trying to fit into stereotypical male and female roles.
The patriarchal domination of the world is hopefully coming to an end. The feminine represents the kind of power we need in order to overcome the warmongering, empire-building greed that is bringing our planet to the edge of extinction. The fear and disrespect of the feminine emerges from a fear and distrust of one’s own feelings. There is no room in a male-dominated system for them. If one really felt the effects of one’s actions—whether the act is suppressing a race, abusing a child or allowing starvation to occur—most people could not continue to live with the internal conflict it would cause.
Fortunately, many men today are starting to become aware of their feminine side and are more ready to show their feelings. They are letting go of control and starting to respond from their hearts. They are learning to tap into a higher spiritual power and flow with their intuition.
Jonathan’s story
Jonathan’s childhood was characterized by the dominance of his strict father, who wanted Jonathan to be ‘a success in life’. Being a very sensitive and caring child who loved animals and art, Jonathan did not fit in well with the role he was being forced to play. When Jonathan arrived home from school, he wasn’t allowed to play with his friends, watch television or draw. If he didn’t have homework from school, his dad set some for him to do. He was forced to play rugby and take part in judo, even though he hated these contact sports. He was, however, quite a good long-distance runner, but instead of being able to enjoy his talent his father killed his enthusiasm. Jonathan told me about a time when he was leading a race but ran out of stamina and was overtaken in the last leg. He was runner-up in the race, but his father was furious that he had allowed himself to be overtaken.
Jonathan was only in his early twenties and at university when he had a nervous breakdown. He was doing all the things he thought he was meant to do in order to enjoy life, such as going to football matches with his friends and for drinking sessions at the pub, but inside he was empty and unhappy and he didn’t know why.
Jonathan came to me because he instinctively knew that the drugs he had been given for his breakdown were only masking the symptoms. He didn’t know what to expect, or even if I could help him, but he knew that there had to be another way He happily changed his diet and started to detoxify. He was so thrilled that someone understood what he was going through and was offering him a way out of his trauma. As Jonathan detoxified he was able to work through some of the issues in his past, though now he was able to see what went on from a more mature perspective.
Jonathan still spoke to his father regularly but he hated their phone calls or meetings because his father still tried to tell him what to do. A real breakthrough occurred when Jonathan stood up for himself one day and told his father what HE thought and what HE was going to do. His father refused to speak to him for quite a few weeks but Jonathan didn’t back down. He also worked through the anger he felt towards his mother for not sticking up for him when he was a child. Eventually, Jonathan was able to build up a relationship with both his parents. It was never going to be easy because his parents hadn’t moved on and Jonathan had. However, he was able to accept them for what they were—and even forgive them for the past—and carry on to complete for himself the job of parenting. Jonathan started to develop a strong psychic talent as he tapped into his feminine side. I’m not sure where this will take him, as he is still young, but he is now open to whatever the universe has in mind. It hasn’t been an easy path for him and he has suffered great pain and loneliness along the way. The things that are important to him now do not fit in with his old lifestyle—or that of the youth culture of today—but as the years go by he will meet others on similar paths and his true purpose will be revealed to him. However, what he is going through now is nothing in comparison to the pain and torment he was suffering. He has gained an inner strength and peace and an understanding that will hopefully enable him to reach his potential and make a difference during his time on this planet.
Tom is another male client who had to contend with a strong father who struggled to associate feminine, creative qualities with his image of masculinity. For Tom to be a writer, and to learn to feel comfortable in that career, has entailed a lot of soul searching and hard work. I’m looking forward to seeing his success as he taps into his true feminine creativity and leaves behind his past conditioning. Here, Tom tells his own story.
Tom’s story
‘I suppose I’d felt for some time that looking more closely at what I ate could be helpful in my healing process, but it was seeing the dramatic improvement in my partner’s health that provided the final impetus.
I had been involved in personal development and had used alternative therapies for a number of years but I was still regularly suffering from debilitating and extremely painful headaches.
I teach scriptwriting and have had a great deal of success in “turning on” lots of students to the joys of creative writing. However, despite consistent confirmation of my own ability as a writer, I have suffered a good deal of ambivalence, as well as a lack of confidence, about my own work.
At the end of our first session, Barbara asked me how I felt with what she had suggested. I can still remember the hubris with which I shrugged the question off. This was no big deal to an evolved guy like me who already ate fairly healthily. Knowing the power of dramatic irony only too well, part of me looks back with amusement at that cock-sure attitude. I found myself having sudden fits of rage, cursing vegetables and hurling the sieve across the kitchen as I drained yet another load of brown rice. I was also astonished at how these outbursts seem to come from nowhere.
Sticking with the discipline of the nutritional programme was sometimes far from easy and it is to Barbara’s credit that she knew just when and how to offer support. She sensitively worked her holistic magic, addressing mind, body and spirit. As the detoxification continued, I found greater equilibrium: my health started to improve and my headaches lessened. In particular my energy levels and my moods evened out. I found a more naturally-rooted zest for living coming up. I could make changes in circumstances faster and more easily, and there was a pronounced improvement in knowing what I wanted and being able to assert those wishes, as well as being able to break patterns of over-adaptation to others.
There have been major changes in my life: my relationship broke up; a much postponed plan to redecorate my house has been acted upon; my teaching work has changed direction; I have started training as a drama therapist; I have started offering personal development/creativity workshops; and I have now (18 months on) started a new relationship that feels much easier than previous liaisons.
Working with Barbara has been a significant experience in my life. It has helped me to discover a more solid sense of self-worth, an inner knowing of what I need, along with a deeper impulse to really care for myself—and I’m now starting to feel a new dawn looming on the creative writing front.’
Hopefully by reading my story, and those of some of my clients, you will have gained some insight into the extent to which dietary measures can improve not only our physical health, but also our mental and emotional