Love and Lies at The Village Christmas Shop: A laugh out loud romantic comedy perfect for Christmas 2018. Portia MacIntosh
developer looking to knock down Christmas Every Day, and build holiday homes for tourists. Before we invite him in for his pitch, Ivy, would you like to say a few words?’
I stand up from my place on the U-shaped table. ‘I, erm… Closing down Christmas Every Day is not a decision I’ve been a party to,’ I say, pausing to anxiously nibble a fingernail. ‘I’m not saying Seb shouldn’t be allowed to start a business here, I just wish it weren’t at the cost of an already established one.’
An echo of ‘hear hears’ bounces around the room.
‘Does anyone else have anything to say on the matter?’
‘After everything I went through to open a business here, I don’t see why this guy should have it easy,’ Lily, who runs the Apple Blossom Deli, says with a laugh. When she tried to open the deli earlier this year almost everyone was against it, and now here she is, a fully-fledged member of the community.
‘It wouldn’t be right, to push out a long-established business with deep roots in the community, in favour of something new,’ Tommy, who owns the local bookshop, adds.
‘Well, I think we’re all in agreement there. Let’s bring him in,’ George says, gesturing at the person nearest the door so that they can get Seb.
Seconds later Seb walks in, in yet another one of his expensive suits. I feel like they’re symbolic of his wealth, his attention to detail, his attitude towards business – all things that look good, when you’re standing up in front of the people who will decide your future. Seb looks the part, from his suit, to the large iPad in his hands, to the confident smile on his face.
‘Hello, everyone, my name is Sebastian Stone, and this evening I’d like to share with you my proposal for new holiday homes on the current Christmas Every Day site.’
Seb taps on his iPad a few times before his proposal appears on the big screen behind him.
I notice a couple of gaps around the room.
‘Bloody hell, we’ve never been able to get that to work,’ George tells him.
Geroge is a living, breathing example of exactly what you’d expect a Yorkshire man to look like. He’s a big, broad fifty-something man, with dark hair that’s slowly being consumed by grey, starting with the sideburns. He knows what he likes and he likes what he knows, and for that reason, you can’t tell him anything. That’s why, at times like this, he’s the perfect chairman of the Nation of Shopkeepers, because he’ll take one look at an outsider like Seb and see everything that he hates about ‘this bloody country’ – consumerism, cutthroat businessmen, the bourgeoisie.
‘Ooh, he’s doing a keynote speech, just like Steve Jobs,’ Adam, who owns the Treasure Island arcade on the seafront, leans over to me to whisper.
Adam is quite the hipster, so I’m not surprised he’s impressed. His arcade isn’t really an arcade, it’s a speakeasy hidden behind an area where parents can ditch their kids while they get drunk.
‘Marram Bay is a popular tourist hotspot that, unfortunately, doesn’t have enough accommodation to meet demand during peak seasons. This results in fewer visitors, less footfall, less business for everyone,’ Seb explains.
He changes the slide to reveal a beautiful artist’s impression of the modern townhouses with dark cladding and grassy roofs. It’s so colourful, surrounded by blooming gardens and smiley people – if I didn’t know what I was looking at, I wouldn’t have recognised it as the spot where my shop currently stands.
Seb cycles through a few slides, talking everyone through how his presence will increase business for everyone.
‘And through my proposed collaboration with holiday accommodation booking site Let’s Go, we’ll attract even more tourism. The last coastal town to work with them won the prestigious Staycation of the Year award.’
I glance around the room, trying to read the audience. He has their attention, that’s for sure.
‘The project will also meet passive house standards, which reduces the building’s ecological footprint. The result will be ultra-low-energy buildings that require little energy for space heating or cooling. Each building will have a green roof, which will provide further insulation – it will also keep the houses cool when they need to be, provide space for birds, and, well, I just think it looks cool.’
Seb gives his audience a wink and, as I look around, I notice that his charm offensive is working. All eyes are on him. From his tech skills to his innovative business ideas, to his good looks and his eloquence. The audience is his, with everyone fully captivated, so impressed by everything he has to offer. I’d go as far as to say a few of the women are swooning – maybe even a couple of the men too.
‘If that’s not enough, the development will be entirely self-sufficient thanks to renewable energy sources. We’ll combine the use of wind and solar power, which, actually, will create a surplus of electricity, which we’ll be donating to your local school.’
‘How would that work?’ George asks.
‘All the energy that we create, that we don’t use, will go back to the grid and the net profit will be deducted from the school’s energy bill.’
As Seb continues to share his plans with his spellbound audience, I tune out a little. His plans are perfect and, if they were anywhere else, I’d want to get behind them too. It’s just…it’s my home, and my business, and if he could find somewhere else, everything would be fine.
‘You’ve given us a lot to think about,’ George says, pulling me from my thoughts, bringing me back into the room. I’d say his poker face was firmly on, were it not for the strong handshake he gives Seb. ‘We appreciate you running your plans by us.’
‘And I appreciate you taking the time to listen,’ Seb replies. ‘Your blessing is important to me, as is your local MP’s. I’ll be talking with her tomorrow afternoon.’ He starts collecting his things, getting ready to leave. ‘See you, Ivy,’ Seb says to me directly. I give him a half wave and as much of a smile as I can muster.
‘Ooh, Ivy, get you,’ Lily from the deli teases, as soon as Seb has gone. ‘So, that’s what I needed to do to get accepted quicker, hmm? Have better tech skills and look good in a suit.’
‘OK, thank you, Lily, we’re judging him on his proposal,’ George reminds her. ‘So, let’s go around the room and find out what people think.’
I notice George glancing around, making awkward eye contact with me before purposefully picking someone from the other side of the room.
‘Rob,’ he prompts, calling upon the local butcher first.
‘He was very persuasive, wasn’t he?’ Rob says cautiously, testing the waters.
George nods thoughtfully.
‘The thing he was saying about the electricity – I didn’t know that was a thing; that’s pretty cool,’ Lily says.
‘Yeah, free electricity for the school…’ George says.
‘The stuff about the booking website, and the Staycation of the Year award,’ Arcade Adam starts. ‘Is that legit?’
‘It is,’ Tommy from the bookshop chimes in. ‘Just Googled it, Portmeirion won last year.’
‘It does sound like it will be good for everyone…’ George says slowly.
I can hear the excitement in their voices building as they talk about Seb’s proposal. The love hearts in their eyes have turned to pound signs now.
‘Ivy?’ George finally says. ‘What do you think?’
‘It’s a good idea,’ I admit. ‘But at the cost of my shop and my childhood home…’
As my voice trails off, an awkward silence follows. I feel like everyone in the room is looking at me, just waiting for me to take one for the team, to