Barbara Erskine 3-Book Collection: Lady of Hay, Time’s Legacy, Sands of Time. Barbara Erskine
know nothing about her, save what I remember from my –’ she hesitated, seeing the disbelief in his face, ‘my dreams, if you like to call them that. I looked her up in the Dictionary of National Biography, but I didn’t look at any books on Welsh history. Perhaps I should.’
Janet appeared with a saucer of peanuts which she put on the arm of David’s chair. ‘My husband is a bit of an expert on local legend,’ she said almost apologetically. ‘We must shut him up about it, because if he starts, he’ll go on all night.’
‘No, I won’t.’ He frowned at her. ‘All I said was that Joanna does not look like her. She was reputed to have been a giantess. She is said to have stood in the churchyard at Hay and, finding a stone in her shoe, thrown it across the Wye, where it landed at Llowes.’ He grinned. ‘The stone is about ten feet long! And of course she built Hay Castle singlehanded in a night. And she was Mallt y Nos, who you can see riding across the mountains with the hounds of hell in the wild of a storm.’ He laughed out loud at the expression on Jo’s face. ‘She must have been a fearsome lady, Jo. Overpowering, Amazonian even, who kept old William in terror of his life. Or that is the way the story goes.’
Jo said nothing for a moment. Then slowly she began to pace up and down the carpet. ‘I don’t think she was especially tall,’ she said reflectively. ‘Taller than William, yes. And taller than a lot of the Welsh, but then they are a short people –’ She broke off in embarrassment, looking at her host.
He roared with laughter. ‘I’m five foot four, girl, and proud of it. It’s power not height that counts in the rugby scrum, and don’t you forget it!’
Smiling, Jo helped herself to peanuts. ‘It’s hard to explain what it’s like being someone else, even if only as a vivid dream. She doesn’t inhabit my skin. I find myself in hers. I think and speak and feel as her. But I don’t know her future any more than she would have known it. Now, talking to you, I know roughly what happened to her, but in the regressions I know no more than we know now what will happen to us tomorrow. If in later life she was called Moll Walbee, I don’t know it yet. If later she came to dominate William, I have no clue. As a young woman only a year or so married she was afraid of him. And her only defence against him was disdain.’
There was a moment’s silence. Janet had seated herself on the arm of a chair near the kitchen door. ‘Do you really believe you are her reincarnation?’ she asked at last, awed. ‘Really, in your heart of hearts?’
Jo nodded slowly. ‘I think I am beginning to wonder, yes.’
‘And are you going to go on being hypnotised to see what happened?’
This time Jo shrugged. ‘I’m not too happy about being hypnotised, to be honest. Sometimes I think I must, other times I’m too scared and I swear I’ll never go back. I tried to get the hypnotherapist to make me forget her, but it didn’t work, so now I don’t know what I’ll do.’
‘Well, that’s honest at least.’ David had wandered across to his bookshelves. He picked out a heavy tome. ‘People who are capable of regression usually, if not invariably, regress into several previous lives,’ he said thoughtfully. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever read of a case where just one life was picked out like this.’ He smiled at her quizzically. ‘It is most intriguing. Do you think that anyone else from Maude’s lifetime has returned with her?’
Jo hesitated. ‘It is as much as I can do to believe in myself,’ she said slowly, ‘but sometimes I wonder …’ Nick’s face suddenly rose before her eyes. A Nick she had never known. A Nick, his face contorted with jealousy and anger, who had pinned her to the bed and raped her, and behind his face another, a face with red-gold hair and beard – the man who had tried to strangle her.
‘Jo, what is it?’ Janet’s whisper brought her back abruptly to the room where she was sitting.
She smiled and gave another shrug. ‘Just something I thought of, someone who’s been behaving rather strangely.’ She bit her knuckles for a moment. ‘But if he is the reincarnation of someone from my – from Matilda’s – past who is he?’
David let out a little chuckle. ‘Don’t worry about it too much, girl. I’m sure it will come to you. Either that, or you’ll regain your wits. Now, why don’t I find a bottle of wine so we can celebrate your visit, then while we eat I’ll help you plan an itinerary so you can follow Matilda’s footsteps, starting at Hay, where most of her legend is centred. That is why you’ve come to Wales, isn’t it? To follow her footsteps?’
‘I suppose it must be,’ Jo said after a moment.
‘You know,’ he said, his hand to his cheek, ‘you could be like her, at that. I suspect you’re a very determined lady when you want to be!’
Jo laughed. ‘I have that reputation, I believe.’
‘And you’re not superstitious or anything?’ he went on, almost as an afterthought.
‘Not in the slightest.’
‘Good.’ He handed her the book. ‘Some bedtime reading for you, Jo. I think you’ll find it interesting.’
Nick let himself into his flat with a sigh. He dropped his case to the floor and picked up the mail from inside the door, then he stopped and looked round, listening. ‘Is someone there?’ he called.
An inner door opened and Sam appeared, lifting his hand in a laconic greeting.
‘Sam!’ Nick threw down the letter.
Sam raised a cynical eyebrow. ‘I don’t think I’ve had so ecstatic a welcome for years!’
‘Shut up and listen!’ Nick pushed past him and went through into the living room. ‘I hurt Jo.’
Sam had followed him and was about to help himself to a drink. He swung round and stared at Nick. ‘You did what?’ he said.
‘I hurt her, Sam. Last night. We were talking about the regressions and she began to tell me about things that had happened to her in that life – things she hadn’t mentioned under hypnosis. She began talking about de Clare – describing how they had made love …’ He went to the tray of drinks. ‘I grabbed her, Sam. I saw red and grabbed her. I wanted to punish her. I wanted to hurt her. I might have killed her.’
Sam was very still. ‘Where is she?’
Nick shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I rang a dozen times this morning and went back at lunchtime. Her car had gone. I went up to the flat and looked round. She’d taken her typewriter and a case. There wasn’t a note or anything.’
Pushing him aside, Sam poured out two glasses of Scotch. He handed his brother one, then stood watching him thoughtfully. ‘How badly did you hurt her?’
Nick shrugged. ‘She knocked the tray off the coffee table and cut her arm. That was an accident, but I was pretty rough with her –’
‘Did you rape her?’
Nick could feel Sam’s eyes on him. He straightened defiantly. ‘Technically, I suppose I did.’
‘Technically?’
There was something in the coldness of Sam’s voice which made Nick step back. ‘She and I have been living together on and off for years, for God’s sake!’
‘That is hardly the point.’ Sam sat down slowly. ‘So, you forced her. Did you beat her up?’
‘I hit her. She was covered in bruises. I don’t know what came over me, Sam. It was as if I wasn’t me any more. I couldn’t control myself. I knew I was hurting her, and I didn’t want to stop!’ He fumbled in the pocket of his jacket for a pack of cigarettes, extracted one, then threw it down with a curse. ‘Christ! This is all such a mess. I was jealous, Sam, of a man who died God knows how many hundreds of years ago. I thought for a while it was Jo going out of her mind. Now I think it’s me!’ He threw himself down opposite his brother. ‘You’ve got to help me. What the hell do I do?’
Sam