A Dialogue Between Dean Swift and Tho. Prior, Esq.. Unknown
and protect the righteous Cause of Truth, Industry and Liberty.
Swift. It may be so! very likely—but possibly, Tom, her aid might come too late for our Misery; and we might cry out, like the poor Roman Knight Lancia, who bawl'd out for help, when the Pile he was laid on, was all in Flames, and his Friends could do him no Service. Besides, Tom, not to mention that your rising Manufacture fell last Year 132,000 l. Have you not heard how your last Linen Bill, was so miserably mutilated, that it was forc'd to be dropt; and that the Nation was fobb'd off with a senseless Tale of a sleepy heedless Clerk; which if you have not heard, I can give you a full Account of.
Prior. There is no Occasion, for I am quite convinced there was no such Design. Do you think it possible, that Men of high Characters for Honour and Candour, Justice and Integrity, cou'd sport in so infamous a Manner with the Fate of Nations, and the very Bread and Being of a free, a brave, and a loyal People? Can you suppose, such a Personage as was then watching over our Welfare, wou'd from an universal Reputation, for every great and good Quality, turn in an instant to a barbarous Caligula, and Wish to cut off a whole Kingdom at a Blow? Absurd and impossible! 'Tis not only reflecting on our Governors, basely and falsely; but in some Measure on the best of Princes too; since it is impossible we cou'd be subtily and insidiously betray'd by the one, without being secretly doom'd to Ruin by the other. Now this, Mr. Dean, is a Conduct so utterly opposite to his royal Nature and Character, who now gives Glory to the British Throne; that I am persuaded, he is incapable of acting so to his most perfidious Enemies, and much less to the most zealous and faithful Subjects in the World.
Swift. Well, well, Tom, 'tis no Time for us to be quarrelling about Reports and Stories. But now you have done with whitening the Sepulchres of Ireland, give me leave to shew you honestly, and without Flattery, the Dirt and Stench, the Corruption and Rottenness that lurks within. Now,
I will shew You–
Prior. Hear me out first, for I am so far from having done, that I have not yet even touch'd on all the Advantages that our Country has received, from the Dublin Society's Premiums; which was one of my chief Reasons, for having consider'd Ireland as upon the Recovery, when I went under-ground like a Tortoise, to be raised again when the Summer comes, after a long Sleep. I need not be very particular on so known and confest a Fact, as the extraordinary Improvements they have made amongst us, in a vast Variety of Articles. We are told Solomon's Writings were so extensive, that he wrote from the Cedar of Lebanon, to the Hyssop that groweth from the Wall; and really their Labours have taken in every Material, every Manufacture, and every Improvement of either of them, that had any claim to their Attention or Encouragement. We may say of their Funds, as Laertes does in Hamlet, 'as for my Means, I'll husband them so well, they shall go far with little;' and it is certain there never was so much done, with so poor an Income, to remedy all our natural Indisposition, to Labour, and Thought, and Industry; to rouse up Thousands who were asleep, and set Numbers on contriving and working, who were dreaming and idling before; and to stop our People from runing abroad, by Wages and Business, and an hope of living to purpose at Home. They gave Premiums, to heighten the Manufacture and Dying of our Woollen Cloths; of our Silks, and our Velvets; of our Blankets; of our Worsteds; of our Cottons; of our Coffoys; Buffs, Lutherines and, Fustians; of our Stockings, and our Carpets, with surprising Success: In our Husbandry they did Wonders also; as to Wheat and Barley; as to Liming, Marling, and Sanding of Land; as to planting of Hops, draining of Bogs; as to raising Liquorish, Saffron and Madder; and as to sowing of Turneps, Clover, St. Foil, Trefoil, and all Kinds of Grass Seeds. They improv'd by a well judged Emulation and proper Rewards, Numbers of our Husbandry Utensils: They set the Nation at Work, in Planting amazing Quantities of Timber Trees, Willows and Osiers for Hop Poles; in raising great Numbers of Orchards, and improving our making of Cyder, home made Wines, and Metheglins; as also in Brewing our Ale and Beer, and giving us Vinegar from our own Fruits, equal to the best in France. They raised the Manufactures of our finest Hats, to a surprising Degree; and they did the same by our Window Glass, and made so great a Progress in our Paper Business, and building of Mills for carrying it on, as if they had got the Mines of Peru, or the Industry of China, to assist them in their Undertakings.
Swift. Well, dear Tom, I suppose you have done now. I have finish'd a Sermon, on a better Subject twice as soon, and yet tir'd my People, God help them, before I had half done.
Prior. I see you don't relish the Transports of my Zeal on this Subject, which gives me such high Delight; so I shall mention but cursorily many Articles that remain, and shall pass by a Crowd in Silence, that well deserv'd my dwelling on them: What I shall begin the remaining part of my Catalogue with, is their exerting themselves with such Assiduity and Success; in Teaching young Lads to Draw and Design skilfully; in setting up Competitions for the best Delf, Roan and Crockery Ware, for Erecting the best Glass Bottle-Houses, for raising of Mulberry Trees, for making of Salt, for working the best Bone-Lace, and the best Imitation of it by the Needle: For the Encouragement of the best Needle-Works in Silk and Worsted; for the Advancement of those lovely Arts Painting, Architecture and Sculpture; for encouraging Tapestry, and enlarging our Fisheries: For improving the Tanning and Currying of our Leather, for the Discovery of Mines and raising of Ores, and for those who should annually Produce the best Invention in useful Arts and Husbandry. In a Word, by turning themselves every way, and applying their little Fund in different Years, to different Uses and Subjects, they seem'd not only to Influence, but even to animate the Whole of our Country; to fire our Hearts, to enlighten our Minds, and stir and strengthen our Hands; and by giving a new Turn to our Thoughts and Motions, to prepare us for yet greater Scenes of Industry, when larger Helps cou'd be got to excite us to it. They have shewn us the vast Effects of a well directed Emulation, and what a few hundred annual Pounds, have already done, and can produce hereafter, by the honest Oeconomy and prudential Directions, of a zealous and judicious Body of Citizens, who Study the Good of their Country. They have also shewn us another undisputed Truth, viz.
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