Anxiety Toolbox: The Complete Fear-Free Plan. Gloria Thomas
– call them what you will – have become part of my life and, as a result, I find myself at 40 feeling youthful, much stronger within myself and with a much more balanced view of life – it’s a bit like a giant jigsaw puzzle finally falling into place. Such has been the transformation that I am now incredibly thankful for that period of suffering, for had I not gone through it I would not be equipped to do what I do today. I now have an incredibly strong sense of purpose and, one day, would like to look back on my life knowing that I have contributed to humanity. Given my experience, I feel that the best contribution I can make is by helping people let go of their self-limiting fears so that they can be the best that they can be. That is why I have written this book. It may sound a little cheesy but it’s my way of expressing my love for humanity.
There is, I believe, a need for major transformation in this world – a need to get back to more balanced ways of thinking and being. Everybody’s anxiety is, of course, unique to them and there is no magic solution for eliminating it completely. However, I believe that we have the most amazing ability to manage our anxiety levels and achieve more resourceful states of mind.
By reading this book, you have hopefully made the decision to begin to let go of fear and anxiety and work towards greater balance in your life. The tools it features are treatments and therapies that are suitable for commonly experienced anxieties, as well as those of a more serious nature. However, I would like to emphasize for those suffering from chronic anxiety or depression that these tools do not take the place of medical advice. They are tools that have worked for me and now I offer them to you. I hope they will help you achieve greater happiness and equilibrium.
Whether you suffer anxiety in a very mild form or you have a specific disorder, this book will be an enormous help to you. The intention is to bring your levels of anxiety back under control. You have the potential to achieve states that are more useful and beneficial to your health and wellbeing, and this book can help you achieve this.
I suggest that you begin by reading the book right through to get a feeling of what it is all about and how it can help you. On first reading, do not do any of the assessments or exercises – simply think about what applies to you. Having learned a bit more about anxiety, you can then focus on your own area of anxiety and use the exercises that are appropriate for you. You will need a notebook to do some of the exercises and to record and explore your experiences. There are appropriate exercises and therapies throughout the various chapters of the book, so work through it at your own pace. In chapter 9 you will also find an invaluable summary of exercises and therapies for each anxiety discussed.
Anxiety is a state of mind that we all experience from time to time. I’m sure every one of you can remember having feelings of nervousness and tension in your body at some point in your life – think back, for instance, to your first day at school, your first date or your last vital job interview.
Anxiety is a symptom, a response to a potentially challenging or threatening experience. When the threat is not acute, and we have time to contemplate it, worry and nervousness create anxiety. Anxiety is closely linked to fear, a primary emotion that helps us deal with danger. In an acute emergency we experience fear, and that fear triggers an automatic response in the body that prepares us to stand and fight or head for the hills. However, this natural instinct – which undoubtedly was of great use to our ancient ancestors – is not always useful in today’s society, when threats are more often psychological than physical. This means that our bodies prepare us for a physical emergency that rarely occurs.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself
FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT
Anxiety Can Be Positive
It is important to recognize that some degree of anxiety is unavoidable and indeed can be useful in the short term. It is the body’s way of saying ‘do this right’ or ‘pay attention’. In potentially dangerous situations, a lack of anxiety could have disastrous consequences. Imagine walking across the road in the face of oncoming traffic without feeling any anxiety at all. Anxiety ensures that we pay attention to what is important. It is what spurs us on to be more vigilant so that we are prepared for life.
Anxiety can also be a positive experience. Think of a challenge that you have looked forward to in great anticipation – I’ll bet you felt some degree of anxiety. You may have called these feelings either butterflies in your tummy or nervous excitement but, either way, they are normal and natural expressions of anxiety – and such feelings can help you to excel.
ANXIETY ENSURES THAT WE PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT IS IMPORTANT
The Anxious Society
Living in today’s world can be a bit of an emotional roller coaster and the sort of positive stress that can stimulate and motivate can often be overridden by negative anxiety. The pressures of living in modern society mean our lives are fraught with negative anxiety. Mental distress has now become very common – to the extent that anxiety has been sighted as the most common psychological condition in the UK and US.
There is no doubt that the pace of life these days can be fast and furious. We live in a society that focuses on human ‘doing’ rather than the human ‘being’. We find ourselves on the go all the time and for many of us it’s very much the norm to experience ongoing feelings of worry and anxiety as we face the challenges of daily living.
We have so much choice and freedom in so many ways yet we seem unable to exercise that choice in a way that is good for us. We may be wealthier in terms of material possessions – such as nice homes, cars and computers – but we have little time to truly enjoy that wealth because we constantly strive for greater goals and never seem to be totally satisfied with what we have. We have indoctrinated ourselves to live at a pace that falls in with societal expectation. This can bring about anxiety in many different forms. We may be juggling a career with bringing up a family and feel that we must be great at our job, have perfect kids, a good marriage, great social life, great clothes, a good figure…With such expectations, it’s hardly surprising we feel anxious! We live by the rules of ‘should do’, ‘have to’, ‘must do’ and seem unable to acknowledge that our anxiety levels are directly affected by how we live our lives.
This sort of pressurized existence, where we are all striving for ongoing individual goals, has also meant that we communicate less with each other. With this comes greater selfishness and intolerance in relationships and increased confusion between the sexes. This adds yet another layer to our anxiety levels.
There are also indirect factors that compound the problem. We are heavily influenced by the media, which constantly portrays the world as a scary place to live – just think of all the headlines about rising crime rates, child abductions, acts of terrorism, war and famine. We are also a society that tends to focus on what does not work, rather than what does work, so it’s easy to become hypnotized on a daily basis by the negativity around us. This isn’t just bad for our mental health – when anxiety levels rise inordinately it can have a toxic effect on both body and mind.
Worry
Worry is at the very heart of anxiety and is one of its biggest contributors. Anxious feelings often come from worrisome, automatic thoughts combined with the physiological responses that such thoughts cause. Obviously, having the odd worrisome thought is perfectly natural. However, ongoing or intense worry that is repetitive in nature can have a detrimental effect both mentally and physically. When feelings of worry escalate and everything in life is seen as a potential catastrophe, this will start to sabotage an individual’s performance in many areas of life.
If you are continuously