Only Fat People Skip Breakfast: The Refreshingly Different Diet Book. Lee Janogly
premise outlined in the following pages will give you the knowledge and tools to change the habits that have kept you fat. It will enable you to live the rest of your life as a slim person. You can choose to use these tools at any time. Sometimes you may disregard them and put on a few pounds, but once this knowledge is firmly implanted in your head, you can use it to get back on track any time you choose.
Whether you believe you can or you believe you can’t, you’re right!
Conversation with Client
C: Will you just verify something for me: my hairdresser says that you need four tablespoons of olive oil every day to keep your hair strong and shiny and that a low-fat diet will cause dryness of the hair and scalp.
Me: I don’t think your hairdresser knows what he’s talking about. Even if you cut down drastically on your fat consumption, if you are eating a balanced diet you will still be getting more fat than you need to keep everything properly lubricated, including your hair and scalp.
C: Oh. He also says that to lose weight you should eat half a grapefruit before each meal. How does that work?
Me: It doesn’t—unless you don’t actually eat the meal after you’ve had the grapefruit! Which I don’t advise, by the way. What other gems does this font of all nutritional knowledge have to impart?
C: Well, apparently, to speed up weight loss you should eat negative-value foods like celery and radishes. He says this sort of food burns up more calories in the chewing and digesting than is actually contained in the food.
Me: That’s a load of rubbish. What else?
C: Come on, he’s really knowledgeable. Did you know that to make your nails grow stronger you should eat jelly or dip your hands in it because it contains gelatin?
Me: Well, if you want to sit with your hand in a bowl of jelly, then don’t let me stop you. Which nutritional academy did this genius graduate from?
C: The Morris School of Hairdressing.
Me: I thought so.
C: You are being very unkind. He knows a lot about nutrition. He told me that pineapples contain a special enzyme that burns up fat. Is that true?
Me: Wrong again. Pineapples do contain an enzyme called bromelin, which digests protein and is similar to an enzyme called papain in papayas. These are not found in any other fruits but, sadly, they do not burn up fat. There is no food yet invented that does. Even if there were, you wouldn’t be able to find it because I would have bought up the entire supply!
C: But surely he is right about some things?
Me: Well, he has cut one side of your hair shorter than the other. That should tell you something.
Chapter Two Who’s Conning Who?
‘In the year 500 BC (Before Conley—of the Sainted Rosemary), the Prophet Legawaxius declared (from the Book of Salon, App. 10.30, Bikini-Line 1): “If thou dost prevail and surrender thine body into the hands of practitioners well versed in the art of beautifying the flesh, be it encumbered upon you to preserve thy maidenly modesty by remaining clothed in thy garment of knicker—be it elephantipants or thong—at all times."
How the Diet Industry Gets Rich
As a dieter you are part of a very exploited group. An £80 million diet industry thrives on your failure. To the pharmaceutical industry, fat people represent a potentially unrivalled source of revenue. Having found a cure for impotence with Viagra, it now sees a remedy for obesity as its holy grail. Even the reputable slimming organizations would surely prefer that you fail so that you will keep coming back and paying your weekly dues. How else can they make money?
Slimming Aids
The same applies to the slimming aids you can buy over-the-counter in chemist or health-food shops. People keep buying these products then blaming themselves when they don’t work. The diet companies are making a fortune persuading you to buy these pills or food substitutes on the assumption that they will make you feel and look better. But do they? You tell me.
While there are reputable manufacturers of diet products, there is also a huge market in what can only be described as weight-loss fraud. As long as people are prepared to try to lose weight at any cost there will continue to be ‘entrepreneurs’ who exploit that desire by selling bogus products.
Recently I received an ‘invitation’ through the post to buy an ‘all natural’ tablet whose main unspecified ingredient reportedly helped dieters lose 72 pounds in 10 weeks—a result, which I imagine, could be achieved only by amputation. If I sent off my application ‘immediately’ I would be lucky enough to get an extra week’s supply of these fabulous capsules absolutely free. I can’t wait!
According to the product blurb, if I take just two tablets each day I will lose as much weight as I want and—yippee!—my metabolism will increase to such an extent that the fat will drop off my body (into a greasy puddle on the floor?). Developed in Switzerland (why is that meant to impress?) by doctors (not window cleaners then?), these tablets mean I will never feel hungry. Amazingly, I will never have to diet again as the tablets will be ‘retraining my body’s ability to convert fat to energy’. Thank goodness for that then.
The leaflet accompanying this miraculous, 100-percent herbal fat-burner shows a studious-looking man in a white coat wielding a stethoscope (in case I didn’t believe the ‘doctor’ bit?). The wording is full of scientific terms that seem to suggest the product has been created as a result of exciting new research into lipogenesis—the metabolic processes by which fat is stored in the body. The unique ingredient (still unnamed) is ‘especially relevant for people whose calorie consumption exceeds healthful levels’.
These claims are designed to persuade you that if a product is ‘relevant’ to overeating, you will stay fat forever if you don’t use it. The fear factor! Are you convinced?
If you’re looking for a quick-fix slimming aid, you are undoubtedly well served by manufacturers of diet products. It is a terrific industry – I wish I’d thought of it! But do we really believe we can buy a product and it will make us slimmer? Aren’t we just buying a fantasy? Some people buy Lottery tickets and dream about becoming a millionaire. Others buy diet products and dream of becoming slim. It’s the same thing (except that there’s a very small chance of actually winning the Lottery).
If there were indeed a safe, authorized, over-the-counter product that could make a fat person slim, we would all know about it. We would have read about it in a respected medical journal. There would have been controlled medical tests, serious long-term research and all the endorsements in place from government drug-safety administrations to license the product for sale. More to the point, everyone who wanted to be slim would be. But they aren’t. So that magic product or ingredient isn’t available. This doesn’t stop manufacturers claiming their diet products achieve this effect or, if they’re more responsible, suggesting that they can help you lose weight as part of a properly managed diet plan.
Sometimes these products are endorsed by doctors, who extol the safety and benefits of the tablets, potions or supplements. Personally, I believe that any doctors endorsing a diet product should be made to declare whether they have a financial interest in that product or are being paid any kind of commission.
Any product that promises instant success without the chore of dieting and exercise is a real concern to me. Such claims simply