Standard Deviation: ‘The best feel-good novel around’ Daily Mail. Katherine Heiny
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4th Estate
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This eBook first published in Great Britain by 4th Estate in 2017
First published in the United States by Alfred A. Knopf, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, in 2017
Copyright © 2017 Katherine Heiny
Cover design by Heike Schüssler
Cover images © plainpicture/Rudi Sebastian
Katherine Heiny asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
Portions of this work originally appeared, in different form, in the following publications: Chapter one has appeared as “Fluent in Her Language” in the Antioch Review, Winter 2012; chapter two appeared as “The Seamy Side” in the Southern Review, Summer 2013; chapter three appeared as “We’re Here” in the Southern Review, Winter 2013; chapter four appeared as “Lame Duck” in the Gettysburg Review, Summer 2014; chapter five appeared as “Leviathan” in Glimmer Train, Issue 90, Spring / Summer 2014.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
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Source ISBN: 9780008105525
Ebook Edition © May 2018 ISBN: 9780008105518
Version: 2018-06-27
FOR Ian
Before you became my mistress I led a blameless life.
LAURIE COLWIN
Contents
It had begun to seem to Graham, in this, the twelfth year of his second marriage, that he and his wife lived in parallel universes. And worse, it seemed his universe was lonely and arid, and hers was densely populated with armies of friends and acquaintances and other people he did not know.
Here they were grocery shopping in Fairway on a Saturday morning, a normal married thing to do together—although, Graham could not help noticing, they were not doing it together. His wife, Audra, spent almost the whole time talking to people she knew—it was like accompanying a visiting dignitary of some sort, or maybe a presidential hopeful—while he did the normal shopping.
First, in the produce section, they saw some woman with a baby in a stroller and Audra said, “Oh, hi! How are you? Are you going to that thing on Tuesday?” and the woman said, “I don’t know, because there’s that other meeting,” and Audra said, “I thought that got canceled,” and the woman said, “No, it’s still on,” and Audra said, “I wish they wouldn’t double-book this stuff,” and the woman said, “I know,” and Audra said, “Well, if we don’t go, will everyone say bad things about us?” and the woman said, “Probably,” and it wasn’t that Graham wasn’t paying attention, it wasn’t that he missed the specifics—it was that there were no specifics, that was the way they actually talked.
He took his time thumping melons and picking over grapefruit and was actually rewarded for being forced to linger by remembering to buy green grapes, which weren’t on the list.
“Who was that?” he asked when Audra rejoined him.
“Who?” She was peering into the shopping cart.
“That woman you just said hello to.”
“Oh, she has a girl in Matthew’s class,” Audra said, selecting an apple. “And a five-year-old and a toddler and that baby, if you can believe it. But no more, because when the baby was only a week old, she had her husband get a vasectomy. Just made the arrangements and woke him that morning and said, ‘Guess what? You’ve got a doctor’s appointment.’ And he went!”
She took