A Daughter’s Disgrace. Kitty Neale
terrible. But it can’t have been your fault, so nobody can blame you.’
‘No, I know, and that’s what everyone at work said,’ Alison replied. ‘But I can’t help feeling I’m to blame.’
Nobody had heard Hazel coming downstairs, but now she stood on the threshold of the room, her expression thunderous. ‘Blame?’ she repeated. ‘Blame for what? What’ve you done now?’
‘Nothing, I’ve done nothing,’ said Alison desperately, knowing what was to come. ‘But as I was last to join the factory, I’m out of a job.’
Hazel stood stock-still and silent but her eyes were flashing.
‘Hazel, we came all the way to congratulate you as soon as we heard your news,’ Linda said hurriedly. ‘Didn’t we, June? Say congratulations to Auntie Hazel.’
‘Con … con …’ the little girl began, moving across to her aunt, confident of another hug.
But Hazel barely registered her niece, or her big sister. She stared in disgust at Alison. ‘God, you really are useless,’ she hissed. ‘How dare you? You bloody well knew that we need every penny for my wedding. You did this on purpose, didn’t you? That’s exactly the sort of spiteful thing you’d do. Well, I’m not standin’ for it.’ She started to edge her way across the kitchen.
‘Hazel!’ Linda cried. ‘Don’t be like that. It’s nobody’s fault. You leave Alison alone. Really, stop it, you’re frightening June.’ The little girl had backed away and was now cowering behind a chair, unable to understand why everything had gone so wrong so quickly.
‘Now, Hazel, we know you’re disappointed,’ said Cora, unable to be cross with her middle daughter. ‘Alison will get another job and we’ll sort things out. Don’t be such a daft mare and calm down.’
But there was no stopping Hazel when she was in a temper, and this time she felt she had just cause. She flew at her younger sister, and if Linda and Cora hadn’t been there to hold her back she would have knocked her to the ground. ‘You make me sick!’ she shouted. ‘All you had to do was hang on to that flamin’ job for a few more months but you couldn’t even do that, could you? What’s the point of you? Why are you even alive? We’d be better off without you!’
An ear-piercing cry filled the air as June began to howl, not sure what was going on, but deeply upset that the people she loved most in the world were so angry with each other.
Alison made good her escape while she could, before Hazel broke free and came after her again. She knew from plenty of past experience that this was the safest thing to do. If only she could escape, like Linda had. She often dreamed of someone sweeping her off her feet, like in the magazines some of the women had brought to work. But what man would ever rescue her?
‘You should’ve seen her,’ said Hazel later that evening. She sat up straight against the faded velvet banquette. ‘Standin’ there saying she wasn’t to blame. Honestly, you’ve no idea what it’s like livin’ with her, puttin’ up with her day in day out.’
‘We’re going to be fine,’ said Neville, trying to calm Hazel down. He’d dressed up for his night out, in his most stylish shirt and jacket. He was a good-looking young man with thick dark hair and laughter in his eyes. He didn’t mind that he was shorter than Hazel – most men were. ‘We’ve been through all this. I’ll get some extra shifts. Nobody likes the night shift, they’re always asking us to sign on for extra hours then. Pay’s better an’ all. You’ll have your big day.’ His eyes shone at the idea of the most gorgeous woman in Battersea walking down the aisle to marry him. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe his luck. The moment he saw Hazel he knew she was the one for him and now she’d agreed to be his wife. Life didn’t get any better than this.
‘I know.’ Hazel made an effort to calm down. Neville loved her, and that was what mattered. He was the best-looking man she knew and even better, his family were new to the area so didn’t know what sort of childhood she’d had. She shivered at the memories of hand-me-downs, always being short of food, always cold, her mother permanently pinched from worry about the rent and whether they’d be evicted. All the kids she’d been at school with knew about it and would have teased her more if they’d dared, but she’d always had a fierce temper and nobody tried it twice. The worst thing was when one of the girls in her class recognised Hazel wearing one of her own dresses that had been given away as jumble. Hazel had had to put up with weeks of snide comments, bringing home the truth that while her classmates weren’t well-off, she was the lowest of the low. She dreaded it when these scenes from the past forced themselves into her mind and the feelings of shame came rushing back. She hated this; she liked to be in control of events and the recollections of that childhood when she’d been ashamed so often threatened to overwhelm her. She remembered how it was only when she’d started to grow up and fill out a bit that the jibes stopped. Suddenly everyone wanted to get to know her – or at least the boys did. But Hazel wasn’t stupid. She knew she’d be better off waiting for the right one and didn’t allow any of the others to take liberties. Now she’d found him, and she was going to put the misery of her past behind her. Neville was exactly what she’d been waiting for.
She took a sip of her sherry as she glanced around. ‘Are you sure this is all right, me being seen out in a pub? I don’t look like a tart in here, do I?’
‘You never look like a tart,’ Neville said. ‘You look like a proper lady. And that’s what a lady would drink. Why, don’t you like it?’
‘Not sure.’ Hazel thought it tasted like woodchips soaked in sugar but wasn’t going to say so. She knew Linda had sherry at home, and she was doing all right for herself, so this is what she would have to learn to like. She’d always refused to go into a public bar, but this was a secluded little snug. She couldn’t have sat at home after what had happened, and Neville’s family were lovely but there were a lot of them in a house not much bigger than her own. As well as his parents, he had a sister almost the same age as him and a younger brother who never shut up, and who shared Neville’s cramped bedroom. When she and Neville got married she had every intention of ending up somewhere better than either of their families. She wasn’t exactly sure how they’d do it but she had every hope that they’d get away and improve their lot. He’d promised her he’d give her anything she wanted and she trusted him to mean it. Somehow they would find a way to make it happen. Just because they were young and only starting out didn’t mean they’d live like their parents on Ennis Street for the rest of their lives.
‘Can’t beat a pint of beer,’ smiled Neville. ‘But when I start my overtime, I’ll cut down. That way we’ll save even more. You’re going to look like a princess.’
‘Really?’ Hazel suddenly felt like crying. He was so good to her.
‘My princess. You’ll knock ’em dead, you’ll be so beautiful, and I’ll be the proudest man in Battersea. Just you wait and see.’
‘Oh Neville, we’re going to be so happy.’ Hazel couldn’t help a sob. The events of the day had been too much, but soon she’d be married to this man who loved her and spoilt her, and she was going to have the sort of life she’d always dreamed of. The future was bright, and nobody was going to take that away from her.
Despite her aches and pains, Cora loved her job at the corner shop. It was the best she’d ever had. She could sit down behind the counter when they weren’t busy and best of all she got to hear every piece of gossip before anyone else. Her boss was delighted to have such a reliable employee and pretty well let her run the place as she thought fit.
This morning she’d made sure the paperboys left on time for their rounds with all the right newspapers and magazines, and was about to start on the ledger. If she didn’t keep it up to date, it took ages to add everything up at the end of the day, and she wanted to get home as soon