Destined to Play. Indigo Bloome
with his hard work, have enabled the success he is now hopefully enjoying.
My career needs to fit in with my family life, well, the kids really; Jeremy’s career is his life, more or less. He has always been tenacious about his quest for sourcing medical cures and has been involved in discoveries that the western world almost takes for granted these days. With that sort of personal motivation and drive, it’s not surprising he hasn’t had time to settle down or find anyone special to share his life with. At least I’m not aware of anyone. He has always attracted interest from the opposite sex, like a George Clooney of the medical world; he certainly doesn’t suffer from lack of attention.
Anyway, that’s what is making my stomach do flips, which is utterly ridiculous at my age. I allow myself a small smile as I find it mildly amusing I am still capable of that sort of fluttering teenage reaction. I am excited and a little nervous about seeing him after so long. The memories of our university days still flood my mind and haunt me whenever I’m alone and in a dark sensual mood, usually in the early hours of the morning …
What is happening to me? I’m going to miss the plane if I don’t get moving!
‘Right, kids? Where are you? I need kisses and cuddles before I leave — I won’t see you for ten whole days!’ Big family hugs all round. I tell them I love them more than life itself and wish them a fabulous adventure in the wild west as they endeavour to track that elusive tiger; apparently legend has it there have been recent sightings. No doubt a camp of school kids is just what they need to be discovered again! However, the kids’ excitement and optimism filters through regardless.
‘And keep safe,’ I declare, promising that I can’t wait to hear every detail of their experience when I return.
I hear the honk of a horn indicating my taxi’s arrival and do my last-minute check to ensure I have everything I need. I am thankful the butterflies have finally subsided. My lips barely touch my husband’s cheek as I tell him to take excellent care of my children and ensure he keeps them safe. A fleeting thought passes through my brain wondering when our relationship became so plastic, so platonic … I have too many things on my mind to delve further and quickly wish them all a wonderful adventure as he dutifully places my bag in the car and I wave goodbye, blowing kisses to the kids from my window as the taxi pulls out of the drive, airport bound.
***
Focus, focus, focus! I keep saying to myself to little avail. My mind is in a state of complete distraction today, which is highly unusual. I hear the captain speaking, good weather, clear flight path, not expecting any delays. Flight attendants are telling me to put my seat belt on and tray up for take-off as they do every flight. It’s not like I don’t know that for goodness’ sake, I think, my irritation surprising me. But of course, I do what I’m told expeditiously as I don’t want to cause a scene. I reluctantly put my notes away and close my eyes momentarily as the plane slowly manoeuvres toward the runway. I feel my chest rising and falling lightly with each breath. Jeremy’s face flashes through my mind, his gorgeous cheeky smile and smoky green, seemingly bottomless eyes … his lips gently kissing my neck … his fingers lightly caressing my nipples … then teasing them to life …
What am I doing? I force my mind to a screeching stop. This is absurd. I force myself back to the here and now and suddenly notice we are in the air and the seat belt sign is off. I breathe a sigh of relief. Now, back to my lecture. I talk myself into believing I am disciplined enough not to let my mind wander off for another second.
I am good at being disciplined, I tell myself. I run an organised house, career and life overall. I love my family and my work and have studied long and hard to achieve what I have. Dr Alexandra Blake. I work between the business world and academia given my studies in both commerce and psychology. This combination has worked well for me financially and I am forever grateful that I am one of the lucky people in life who love their work and are passionate about what they do. Enough of self-talk and affirmations … I need to think about the presentation today.
Once again, I ponder the topic of the lecture which I will be delivering to approximately 500 people in just a few hours’ time. This fact finally snaps my mind to attention. I consider using some additional questions and challenges to open discussion and promote their thinking. I like the idea so I note down the following points on my notepad to use for the end of the session.
How important is visual perception to your mindset?
How much do you depend on visual stimulation to interpret your world?
What senses do you believe would most compensate for a lack of visual perception? Why? How?
Given research shows that body language — a visual sense — accounts for more than 90 per cent of communication between people, the significance of these sorts of questions becomes exponential.
I’m feeling much calmer now that I am once again absorbed in my work. The rest of the flight goes smoothly and I arrive on time at the University of Sydney.
***
‘Dr Blake, good morning, great to have you back.’
I look ahead and smile toward my PhD examiner, Samuel Webster. ‘Well, good morning to you too, Professor; it’s great to be back.’
‘You know you are always welcome, Alexandra. It’s been too long. It seems to be very difficult to draw you away from the south isle.’
‘Hmm, on reflection, it’s been a while. I guess time flies when you are having fun.’
‘I’m glad to hear it. You have certainly been busy on the research front. We’re looking forward to your lecture this afternoon.’
‘And as ever, I’m looking forward to hearing your insights and expertise. Thank you so much for your support in bringing this together.’
‘My pleasure, my dear, my pleasure. Do you have time for a quick lunch with some colleagues before you take centre stage?’
‘For you, Samuel, always.’ I smile again warmly as he leads me along the manicured lawns beside the beautiful, historic buildings. It feels good to be back.
At lunch with Samuel, I reflect on what an honour it was to have him oversee my PhD. He specialises in defensive (passive and aggressive) behaviours in the workforce and was instrumental in developing my thesis. His global connections both in the corporate world and academia are second to none and his knowledge is immense. He’s recently been working hand in hand with the Brain and Mind Research Institute, which enables him to analyse many of his revolutionary hypotheses about behaviour and sexuality in the field of neuroscience. I find his work truly fascinating and being with him today allows me to see how passionate and absorbed he has become in this branch of his research.
I find myself reflecting just how much of an impact Samuel has had on my career. The support and the sage advice when it all became too hard, made me feel obliged to hang in there for both him and the future rewards. He drives his PhD students hard and wants no stone left unturned. I smile internally at those years of insanity and frustration, pleased I completed them and relieved they are behind me.
Samuel had offered me a senior lecturing position at Sydney University and was not happy when I turned it down for a similar role at the University of Tasmania. He taught me so much, I felt indebted to him, but he understood my reasons, that it was a lifestyle choice, particularly with a young family in tow. He promised he would stay in touch and support me both professionally and personally, and he has definitely been a man of his word. Samuel was instrumental in getting my research on visual perception off the ground and more recently became my chief academic sponsor, which is how I come to be presenting this lecture series today.
I’m touched that he has taken the time to introduce me to his team of, in his words, ‘elite researchers’, who appear to be hanging on his every word. I suppose I looked the same way when I was a new postgrad. Brad, Max, Denise and Elijah, all of whom are doing fascinating work within the world of psychology and neuroscience. It makes me feel alive, interacting with kindred folk again. It certainly isn’t the type of discussion for the average dinner party.