Sahm I Am. Meredith Efken
borrowing any more novels from the secretary. How about that, okay?
Are you and Dulcie hosting Thanksgiving? I know it’s only August, but Mom was wanting to know, and Jordan’s got to get that Wednesday off. Mom wants to bring Morris, just so you’re prepared. They’re coming this weekend—I think it sounds serious.
Love,
Becky
P.S. Jordan says you’d better fork over the note or else. You might as well—she probably passed it around to all her friends anyway. Which means all their husbands have seen it, too. Why keep your sister and brother-in-law in the dark? :)
| From: | Thomas Huckleberry <[email protected]> |
| To: | Jordan and Becky <[email protected]> |
| Subject: | Re: Implementing the plan |
<She probably passed it around to all her friends anyway.>
Dulcie wouldn’t do that. Trust me. I’m the one who’s known her almost six years, remember? She’s got more sense than that. You can tell Jordan neither of you are EVER going to see that e-mail. Writing it made me really miss her. I should think about trying to get a job with less travel. It’s just that with the programming market being what it is right now, it’s not a smart time to be looking. Did you know they’re talking about sending me to Alaska this spring?
Tom
| From: | Dulcie Huckleberry <[email protected]> |
| To: | Thomas Huckleberry <[email protected]> |
| Subject: | Re: Love Note |
Tom, honey,
That was a very interesting note! Are you okay? I mean, I can ask Dr. Conner for a referral in KC if you’d like to see someone. I know you’ve been under a lot of stress lately. I hope you aren’t getting sick. But if you are, don’t worry about anything except getting well. The girls and I will hold down the fort here. Everything will be fine.
Love you much!
Dulcie
| From: | Thomas Huckleberry <[email protected]> |
| To: | Dulcie Huckleberry <[email protected]> |
| Subject: | Re: Love Note |
I’m not sick! I wrote you a letter trying to show you how I feel about you, and you think I need to see a doctor? What is your problem, anyway?
Tom
| From: | Dulcie Huckleberry <[email protected]> |
| To: | Thomas Huckleberry <[email protected]> |
| Subject: | Re: Love Note |
Sorry, sweetie, I didn’t mean to offend you. But really—“lose ourselves in the paradise of our love”??? You NEVER say things like that! Did you copy that from a romance novel, or what?
Your devoted (though somewhat suspicious) love,
Dulcie
| From: | Dulcie Huckleberry <[email protected]> |
| To: | “Green Eggs and Ham” |
| Subject: | FAKER! |
HE COPIED FROM A ROMANCE NOVEL! Can you believe it? After I e-mailed him, he called and confessed. I asked him why he would do something so silly. His response: “I wanted to tell you how I felt, but my words all sounded stupid. You deserve better than that, so I figured someone who writes romantic stuff for a living would be able to say it with more flair.”
Isn’t that sweet? I told him next time he wants to copy something, try Sonnets of the Portuguese. Or Shakespeare. But that his own words are really the ones I want most. He’s coming home this weekend and taking me on a REAL date! Imagine that!
Now, if only he’d get a job here in Omaha so he could be home more often….
Blissfully,
Dulcie
| From: | Zelia Muzuwa <[email protected]> |
| To: | “Green Eggs and Ham” |
| Subject: | Re: FAKER! |
Oh, please. The only things more nauseating than your e-mail, Dulcie, are Rosalyn’s weekly topics. But I still love you. :)
Z
| From: | Dulcie Huckleberry <[email protected]> |
| To: | SAHM I Am <[email protected]> |
| Subject: | All-you-can-eat clothes PART TWO |
Thought all you lovely ladies would like to know how this came out…
My pastor’s wife approaches me in church this morning. “Dulcie,” she croons, “it occurred to me the other day that I may have accidentally hurt your feelings at the meeting with my little comment about your clothes.”
YA THINK? (But I don’t say it…honest.) I just shrug and try to look a little confused—which really isn’t all that difficult for me these days. “Oh, well…I knew what you meant.”
She gives me a gushing hug. “I’m SOOOO sorry, dear!” Then she pulls back and looks at me (I was wearing brown knit pants and a khaki tunic top). “You look great, REALLY!” Sure. That’s why she thought I was pregnant. Must have been my glowing countenance that fooled her.
“Well, thank you,” I tell her.
She takes one more hard look at my outfit and smiles sweetly. “You must just like to wear BIG clothes, that’s all!” Then one parting hug, and off she goes, radiating joy, peace and love to all. (Seriously, guys, despite the bad foot-in-mouth disorder, she’s a really sweet person.)
Sometimes, you just gotta wear your “all-you-can-laugh” outfit—because it’s the only one that nothing will stick to. :)
Cheers,
Dulcie
| From: | Zelia Muzuwa <[email protected]> |
| To: | SAHM I Am <[email protected]> |
| Subject: | Re: [SAHM I Am] All-you-can-eat clothes PART TWO |
Dulcie, I admire your forgiving spirit, and your ability to see the good in her despite her faults. However, the next time she’s about to nibble her toes, you need to hold up your church bulletin and use the following quote from you-know-who: “Shut your mouth, dame, or with this paper shall I stop it.”
Z
| From: |
Rosalyn Ebberly <[email protected]>
|