Love is the Drug. Ashley Croft
to feel sick, faint and burst into tears at random moments, she didn’t know how she would have held down a conventional job as she once did. But then again, a job would have come with its salary and rights and maternity leave …
‘Better?’ Ewan cut into her thoughts.
‘Yes, thanks.’
Sarah sipped the water and tried the ginger tea while Ewan tackled a large cappuccino. Molly had told her he was an Iberian Celt. Sarah wasn’t entirely sure what that meant genetically but it had produced a very alpha human being and Sarah could understand exactly why Molly had fallen for him. It must be excruciating to work together on a project like the Love Bug …
‘Are you very busy at work? Molly says so,’ she said, hoping Molly would put in an appearance soon.
‘Does she?’ said Ewan, his interest piqued. Sarah wondered if she’d said the right thing.
‘Well, she obviously never tells me anything about what you’re working on,’ said Sarah hastily. ‘That would be unprofessional. She loved Science at school and always had her head in a textbook. I preferred English and Art.’
Ewan smiled. ‘I enjoyed Art but I had to drop it. My teachers thought I had too much on my plate with my Science GSCEs and A levels and they were probably right. What do you do now?’
‘I run my own business.’
‘Really? What do you do?’
‘I used to work in a bank. I managed the SME liaison team but now I um … have my own small craft business.’
‘Craft? What sort? Sculpture? Woodwork?’
‘Jewellery, actually.’ Sarah knew she should be proud of her business and hated herself for feeling embarrassed about it but Molly had banged on so often about Ewan’s fearsome intellectual reputation.
‘Silversmith? Or another material?’
‘I do use silver wire. I make tiaras …’
‘That sounds high-powered. For royalty?’ He smiled – briefly – probably to show he was joking and wasn’t used to it, Sarah decided. Whatever, she wasn’t offended at his joke.
‘In my dreams. No, for brides, mainly, though some of them do behave like princesses. Most, in fact,’ she said, thinking of Cassandra Burling’s demands. ‘I sometimes do commissions and I run workshops for brides and people who want to create their own jewellery.’ Like Liam Cipriani, she thought, making a mental note to call him back.
‘I must admit that bridal tiaras are out of my sphere of expertise,’ said Ewan.
But he was married once, Molly had said. Sarah wondered if the ex-Mrs Baxter had worn a tiara. Somehow, she couldn’t picture it.
‘How are you feeling? Do you think you should see your GP about the faintness?’
‘I already have. In fact, I saw her this morning. I’m pregnant.’
Ewan looked taken aback but then nodded. ‘Aha. Congratulations.’
‘Thanks.’ Sarah managed to squeeze the muscles of her mouth into a very fleeting smile. Even though Niall was a shit, she still desperately wanted this baby, but Ewan was too sharp not to notice her reluctance.
‘Did I say the wrong thing?’
‘No. You didn’t. It’s just … well, my partner and I have split up.’ Christ, it hurt her heart to even say it out loud. ‘The night of the party actually.’
‘Bummer. I’m sorry.’
‘Yeah.’
Ewan fiddled with the wrapper off the biscuits. ‘It’s never easy, when a relationship goes wrong. Spectacularly wrong in my case.’ He glanced up at her. ‘I’d like to say it gets easier and I suppose it does but it takes a long time.’
‘How long?’ asked Sarah, wishing he hadn’t said anything that made her heart hurt. But now like a child drawn to a flame, she had to feel the pain, know the worst from someone who’d been through it.
‘Everyone’s different, obviously, but for me? Six months before I even accepted she’d gone.’
‘And now? How long has it been since she left you?’
Ewan blew out a breath. ‘Two years, eleven months and ten days.’
Sarah’s jaw dropped. ‘Please tell me I can’t feel this bad for the next three years.’
‘Oh no, I hope not. You won’t, I’m sure.’
Sarah’s disbelief must have been obvious because Ewan’s voice took on a slightly more soothing tone. ‘Sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m making things worse, aren’t I? I do that: make things worse for people whenever I open my mouth. I think I’m trying to help but I end up making people feel like shit. Anna – my ex – said I was the most tactless man on the planet. It was one of the reasons she ran off with a colleague, along with me being a workaholic and possibly a little bit obsessive.’
Even though she wasn’t reassured, Sarah managed a smile for him. ‘You’re not making things worse. I don’t feel they could be any worse at the moment and I know that getting over Niall will be awful, even though I would never take him back of course, which is exactly why I can’t face it.’
‘Well, at least you don’t work with this guy. Do you?’
‘No. He’s a paramedic.’ Hot anger surged through her veins again as she relived the scene in the cottage bedroom. ‘I came home after the party to find him having sex in our bed with the bloody woman who drives the ambulance. He was wearing one of my tiaras.’
‘Bloody hell …’ Ewan had hissed the words through his teeth but a nearby customer glared at him. He lowered his voice. ‘That’s terrible.’
All Sarah could do was nod.
‘Anna left me for one of the post-docs in my lab at my old uni. She was his boss and I was her colleague. It was crap having to work together every day. I left in the end and got the job here in Cambridge but the last three months were a hell on earth, seeing her and him together every day.’
‘I’ll bet it was,’ said Sarah innocently, knowing that Molly had told her about Ewan’s lecture on the perils of people working – and shagging – together.
‘However, I’ve learned my lesson. I will never get involved with anyone I work with again as much for their sake as well as mine,’ said Ewan firmly.
‘It sounds awful.’
‘Everyone in the lab knew what had happened between the three of us and I know most were waiting for me to have a meltdown or us all to have a bloody duel or something. People ended up taking sides and the atmosphere in the lab was a nightmare. You know, refusing to share offices or go to the pub together, sitting separately at lunch; acting like schoolkids. It was impossible to behave professionally or focus on our work and excruciating to have everyone at work knowing about our private lives.’ Ewan went on gloomily. ‘I took my eye off the ball and we missed out on a major grant that was vital to our work.’
Sarah felt sorry for him but she was way more worried for her sister’s chances with Ewan. They were looking worse by the minute and she had a suspicion that Ewan might be telling her his sorry tale precisely because he knew Sarah would be bound to pass on the conversation to Molly and warn her off. Oh shit.
Molly breezed up to the table in her hi-vis jacket carrying a cycle helmet. ‘Sarah! I am so sorry I’m late …’ She stared at Ewan like he was a zombie. ‘Ewan? What are you doing here?’
‘I was just going actually.’ He scraped back his chair and got to his feet with indecent haste.
Sarah cringed on Molly’s behalf. ‘I wasn’t feeling well and Ewan saw me. He bought me a drink,’ she said hastily.
‘I