Her Forgotten Cowboy. Deb Kastner
completely AWOL ranging back to my early adulthood.”
She paused. There was one question she’d been wanting to ask ever since she’d first encountered her mother at the community center. She had gathered her mom was staying with Tanner and helping with Mackenzie, but was that because—
“Mama?” Her voice was dry and she coughed to dislodge the emotions jamming her throat. “At the community center—I didn’t see—didn’t see—”
She couldn’t finish her sentence as tears once again filled her eyes. At this point she couldn’t seem to stop bawling and sniffling no matter which direction the conversation went. She pressed her palms to her eyes, not wanting to disturb little Mackenzie with a frightening outburst.
Her mother reached for her hand and gently stroked it in both of hers. “Your father passed away several years ago. He had a massive heart attack when he turned fifty.”
“Oh, I—” Rebecca hiccuped and sniffled some more. Tanner stood and reached for a box of tissues. He set the box next to her and pulled a couple out, handing them to her.
“Th-thank you. When I first saw you today,” she said to her mother, “I had this flashback to you and Dad dancing in the kitchen.”
Her mother laughed softly. She’d clearly had time to grieve and the memory was a pleasant one. “Oh, he was always doing that with me, silly man. He’d put a rose between his teeth and tango me from one end of the kitchen to the other.”
Rebecca remained silent for a moment as the information and accompanying emotions washed over her. In her messed-up brain, her father had still been alive and well. To find out he wasn’t—
Tanner cleared his throat. “He walked you down the aisle at our wedding.”
Rebecca’s eyes widened at the sensitivity of this man who was her husband. How could he know how important that would have been to her?
“He did?”
“You bet he did,” her mother said. “I’ve never seen a prouder father than he was when he handed off his only daughter to a man he respected.”
That man was Tanner—the man she’d chosen to separate from.
“You should have seen how nervous Tanner was when he came to your father and me to ask for your hand in marriage,” her mother continued. “It was the cutest thing.”
“Aw. Do you have to call me cute?” Tanner’s cheeks turned red. “Let’s not go quite that far. Babies are cute. Puppies are cute. Cowboys are...rugged,” he finished lamely.
Rebecca and her mom chuckled at his vain attempt to save his ego.
Privately, Rebecca thought Tanner was both rugged and cute. He had the rough skin of someone who spent all his time outdoors and worked with his hands, but the scruff on his face couldn’t quite hide the twin dimples in his cheeks.
She looked back and forth from Tanner to her mother and once again changed the subject. There was so much she needed to know.
“Is Mackenzie...?” Her voice trailed off.
“Your niece,” Tanner answered, sounding surprisingly patient given the circumstances. “My sister’s girl. I’m her temporary guardian right now. If you had stayed—” He choked on the word and didn’t finish his sentence.
They stared at each other for a moment without speaking. His gaze was saying so much, and yet there was nothing she could translate into words. She wondered if there might have been a time in the past when they could communicate that way, able to speak without words. At some point they must have been madly in love with each other. He’d asked her to marry him and she’d accepted, and she couldn’t imagine marrying someone she didn’t love with every fiber of her being.
So what had happened between the I do’s and today?
She wished she remembered what had broken them up. But maybe her brain wasn’t ready to handle that much knowledge yet.
And yet it was the one question she most wanted to ask but was most afraid of voicing.
“So, you don’t remember anything about—what? The last few years?” Mama asked. “You seemed to recognize me right away when we met earlier.”
“Yes, but it wasn’t exactly how you look now. Like I said, I get little flashes of memory sometimes, but they only serve to confuse me. I remembered you and Dad dancing. That’s why I recognized you.”
Once again, she consulted her notes on her phone. “My short-term memory is spotty. It’s getting better every day, but I still occasionally forget things right after hearing or doing them. My amnesia appears to have completely erased several years of my life. The doctor says I will get better with time and that the best way for me to snap out of it is to immerse myself in the life I once knew, what’s most familiar to me.”
“I guess it makes sense then that you remember Dawn, who was your best friend since elementary school, and obviously you recognized your mom. But with me, you came up a complete blank, because I didn’t come on to the scene until later on,” Tanner observed bitterly.
“I’m sorry.” She didn’t know why, but she felt the need to apologize, even though none of this was her fault. But he sounded so hurt that she didn’t remember him.
“Why’d you come back here?” Tanner asked, resentment rising in his tone. “Since you remember Dawn, why didn’t you just stay with her?” She couldn’t blame Tanner for his bitterness. They had been separated, so it was logical for him to ask why she’d search him out. And she only realized as he asked the question that her presence here wasn’t fair to him.
“Because my driver’s license still says Serendipity.”
“And your last name is Hamilton.” It wasn’t a question and Tanner didn’t phrase it that way. He hadn’t said still Hamilton. That made Rebecca more curious than ever as to what their relationship had been like before it had gone wrong.
Her gaze locked with his. “Yes. It does say Hamilton. But the person I remember is Rebecca Foster.”
His brow lowered and his jaw ticked with strain.
“I’m here because this is where I have the best chance of triggering more recent memories, and at this point, I’d do anything to get them back. But I understand this isn’t going to be easy for you. If you want me gone, I’ll leave.”
“Of course you won’t leave,” Mama exclaimed. “You have to stay with us. Let’s not forget you and Tanner are about to have a baby together. Isn’t that right, Tanner?”
Tanner continued to stare at her, his blue eyes sparkling with pain and anger.
Her breath caught in her throat as she waited for him to answer. Her whole world revolved around what he was about to say. If he sent her packing, which he had every right to do, how would she ever remember how things used to be?
But it really was his choice to make. It was his life she was barreling into after months apart, after who knew what had happened to tear them apart in the first place.
He blew out a breath and shook his head, an action that belied his next words.
“Yes, Rebecca. You should stay.”
Tanner stood in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and sipping from his mug of coffee as he waited for Rebecca to join him.
Because Rebecca had no recent memories and needed someone to look after her, it only made sense that she stay here at the ranch with him and Peggy.
But he didn’t have to like it. In fact, it was ripping him up inside.
He