His Christmas Redemption. Danica Favorite
on the internet and, while I’ll never be a chef, I won’t starve.”
“You were good at grilling,” she said. Then she added, “Our church has refreshments every Sunday after the service. But they also like to do something a little special for the holidays. Baking cookies relaxes me, so I volunteered to do extra this year. I’m just glad my day to bring them wasn’t today. At least we’ll have them for next week.”
She tried not to sound discouraged as she spoke. Before her nap, she’d sounded so whiny that she’d gotten on her own nerves. Even now she was trying not to let the situation get the best of her. It had been a silly accident and she needed to find a way to look on the bright side.
“I didn’t realize you started going to church again,” he said.
He looked like he was going to add something argumentative but then he stopped. The counselor had recommended they go to church together, but Lance had informed her that he saw no point in chasing after a God who could be so cruel as to take their child from them.
“It’s been a great way for us to get involved in our community. Pastor Roberts is a wonderful teacher and we’ve all grown a lot closer to the Lord thanks to him. I’ve never been part of a place where the people were so warm and welcoming.”
The hesitation on his face was confirmation of just how far apart they’d grown and why she couldn’t see them having a future together. Maybe, for all the doubts she’d had about their divorce, having him there now was what she needed as confirmation of what had truly become important in her life.
“I don’t believe in God anymore,” he said.
Erin took a deep breath. “I know. But that’s something for the two of you to work out. If you’d rather not help with the cookies, I understand. Even though everyone I know is busy with their own holiday preparations, I’m sure I can find someone to help me.”
Though she’d put a cheerful tone in her voice, she knew that many of the people from church already had too many commitments on their plates. She’d ended up signing up to make extra because they hadn’t had enough people who could do it.
“It’s just cookies,” he said. “It’s not like I have to go—” He stopped. “I’m going to have to take you to church, aren’t I?”
She honestly hadn’t thought that far ahead. She would like to go to church, but she was already asking a lot of Lance. She’d seen the look on his face when she’d explained about Lily’s bear becoming Ryan’s.
“I’ll try to find a ride. My boss, Ricky, drives right past here on his way. If he can’t pick us up, maybe you could just drop us off and then go have a cup of coffee and pastry. There’s a great café in town that has the best bear claws.”
Lance gave her a funny look. “I like bear claws.”
If it were anyone but Lance, she’d have hugged him. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to hug him, but because it was Lance, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to leave his arms after being in them again. She’d already struggled with it when he’d brought her into the house. It was hard being so close to someone she’d loved for so long...their relationship was now so different.
He helped her into the kitchen, where the boys were making shapes out of dough. It wouldn’t have been her first choice, but she could see Lance’s laptop perched on the counter with the video paused.
How was she supposed to remain immune to him? That’s what she’d never been able to understand about Lance. How could you not like a man who didn’t know how to cook, hated Christmas, but was willing to go online and watch videos to learn how to bake Christmas cookies for a woman in need?
“Here, Auntie Erin,” Ryan said, handing her a glob of dough. “You have to make it into candy cane shapes.”
As she got closer, she realized that they had white and red dough that they were making into ropes and then twisting into a candy cane shape.
“Candy cane cookies?” she asked. “I haven’t had these in ages.”
“You used to make these cookies—”
When we were married. At least that’s what Erin thought Lance was about to say. He used to tell her that they were his favorite cookies. His grandmother had made them for him. And Erin, wanting to do something nice for him, had made them. Personally she’d never liked them. But she’d always made them for Lance. She hadn’t made them since their divorce. There wasn’t any point given that Lance had been the only one who’d liked them. She should have known this would have been his default choice. It just hadn’t occurred to her how much that choice would affect her.
It was strange, remembering the simple thing she’d done for him to put that look of happiness on his face. He might not understand the big deal about Christmas but, for Erin, the big deal, at least in terms of why all this meant so much to her, was that there was nothing like the expression of joy on someone’s face when they realized that you’d taken the time to think of them and do something special for them.
Erin, who had spent so much of her life as the middle child, not being noticed in the same way as her siblings, liked to make sure everyone felt noticed. Important. And Christmas was the perfect time to show people in very special ways what they meant to her.
Lance might think her vision of the perfect Christmas was silly, but he’d never been as sentimental as she was.
While she had never intended for Lance to remain a part of her holiday traditions, God had him there for a reason. Even though she hadn’t been able to think of any sort of peace he might need from her or she from him, obviously God had something different in mind for this holiday season. She just prayed that whatever it was, when her sisters returned and life was back to normal, it wouldn’t hurt so much to say goodbye to Lance again.
If Lance hadn’t once been married to Erin, he’d have thought her giant Christmas planner a joke. But when it came to Erin and her planners, she was dead serious. The only trouble was, Lance wasn’t sure how he was going to accomplish all the items on her list. It was tempting to simply do the items that were easy and skip the rest, but that would mean Erin would just find a way to do them herself.
And judging from the way her face scrunched up in pain when she tried to stretch the time period between medication, her injury was still bothering her a couple days after the accident. It was to be expected, but not when you were Erin and you had a list.
That was why Lance found himself standing on the front porch, wrapped in winter gear after picking up the boys from school. It had remained cold enough after the snow that Erin was determined to check off one of the items on her list—sledding.
The boys ran out from the barn, carrying an old sled. “Here it is, Uncle Lance.”
Erin came stomping onto the porch. To go outside, Lance had layered garbage bags over her boot to keep her foot dry, but it made it more difficult for her to maneuver.
“That hill over there is good for sledding,” she said, pointing to a nice area in front of the house. “I can stay here on the porch and watch you guys.”
She didn’t look happy about it and he didn’t blame her. After all, sledding was fun. They’d often gone with friends to a giant hill near their house. The passing thought brought an ache to his heart.
A few months before Erin had gotten pregnant they’d gone sledding together. It had been the most wonderful day and Lance could still remember cuddling by the crackling fire with Erin, talking about how someday they’d bring their kids to do the same.
Only it hadn’t ever happened.
Lily had died before she was old enough to enjoy the giant sledding hill.
He glanced over at Erin. Did