Nchọpụta Crazy. Onye na-achọpụta ihe ọchị. StaVl Zosimov Premudroslovsky
Ọ bịarutere na isi obodo bụ dike nke St. Petersburg. Ma, ebe ọ chọpụtara n’ime ụlọ ọrụ nyocha ebe ncheta a na-achọ achọ na nke echerela ogologo oge, ọ jiri ọsọ na-ebugharị ihe n’ụgbọ njem ọha na eze, gịnị kpatara eji ebufe ya? Ọ bụ naanị na Moskvichka nọ ọdụ na tebụl ozi, na Muscovites, n’adịghị ka Pitertsev, hụrụ n’anya na-eziga ụzọ ọzọ, dị ka n’oge a. Mgbe o rutechara awa ise ka ebe ahụ a na-eche ogologo oge, ọ legharịrị anya, n’enweghị achọta ihe ọ bụla yiri nke ahụ, kpebiri ịrịọ ndị ọrụ nchebe nọ nso ebe ahụ jiri anya lelee ndị ọrụ na-akwaga mba ọzọ na-aga ịdọpụta nne nne ha:
Ọ kpọrọ ha, «ndị m hụrụ n’anya, otu n’ime ha zara ma chigharịa,» her nwere ike ịgwa m ebe ncheta nke Gogol’s NOS dị?»
– Ma ebe a, – onye ọrụ wepụrụ isi ya – - ebe a. – wee rụgide aka na mgbidi na oghere aka: site na ihe ncheta ahụ, enwere naanị oghere dị na mgbidi na akwa a na-ejideghị, nke nnukwu efere ezuru nwere imi mmadụ. Granny nwụrụ ozugbo n’ihi ọrịa obi nkụchi. N’elu nke a mbufe anyị gwụsịrị. Kacha mma. Nye
Ottila rankụrụ iko ọzọ wee hie ụra.
Ọchịchịrị gbara ya n’ọchịchịrị n’ọchịchịrị, ọ rịgoro wee merie n’akụkụ nwunye ya, bụ onye na-ekwu okwu. Ọ gbagharịdịghị. Mgbe ọ rịgooro n’elu nwunye ya ma nọ n’agbata mgbidi ahụ na nwunye ya, ibobo wee kpuo ya n’elu site na egbugbere ọnụ nke mara mma. Ottila kuru ume nke ikuku ma bulie elu ya elu, pere mpe karie isi ya, dogidere isi ya n’azu isi ya n’azu ura nke nwunye ya. O tinye ntị ya na nke obere ma jiri obi ya dị elu kpuchie ntị elu. Nlepu anya, o were nwa dika nwatakiri, n’enye oku na nkasi obi.
Ke usenubọk, enye edemede ke idap ke udori. Onweghi nwunye. Ọ gara n’ebe a na-asacha ihe, wee saa ahụ, yiwe uwe zuru oke. Ọ gara n’ọnụ ụzọ nke ụzọ e si banye ebe ndị siri ike, were aka ahụ, ma… Ọnụ ụzọ mepere ya n’ọnọdụ a wee dajụọ, n’oge ọ na-agbanye aka n’ọnụ ụzọ, na-adọkpụ Ottila n’ime oghere nke Powerpoint, dị ka a ga – asị na enweghị ikuku ikuku dị ike. Ọ batara were daa Wife. Afọ na-ara ara na-atụpụ tụpụrụ azụ.
– Gịnị ka ị bụ? Izoldushka!? – Ọ jụrụ na mberede na ijiji na mgbe nke a gasịrị o nwere mgbu na azụ nke isi ya, na-akụ ala.
– Hichaa ụkwụ gị, m sara ebe ahụ. ọ kparuru ya ma gharia n’ala, na-ehulata na ala ala, laghachikwute ya. Onye uwe ojii ahụ gbara ịnyịnya ibu ya gburugburu, hichaa ụkwụ ya, jiri ntị mịrị amị na-akpa aka ma banye n’ọfịs. Ihe mbu o mere, rigoro n’elu oche, wee jee na ekwentị n’elu tebụl ma dọpụta ya na nsọtụ ya. Ọ kpọtara ekwentị, nọdụ na nsọtụ tebụl ma tinye ya na ntị ya. Ọ kpọrọ ekwentị nna ya ukwu, kpọpuo ya n’ụkwụ, chere, na-agụta beeps.
– Ullah! – nụrụ n’akụkụ nke ọzọ nke waya mgbe ụda olu iri ise gasịrị.
– Comrade Marshal? Nke a na – akpọ Mazi District General Klop.
– Ahhhh… ọ bụ gị? – O wutere Comrade Marshall, – olee otu ihe dị na ebe ọhụụ? Didkpọghị gị ogologo oge, ị malitere ichefu onye e… uh… um, na-enye gị nri.
– Mba, kedu ihe ị bụ, Eximendius Janis oglu Snegiryov. Onweghi ihe mere ị ga-eji kpoo isi agadi gị n’efu.
– Baska, ị sị, ọnụnụ?
– Uh… mba, ndo, gbapụ.
– Ọ dị mma, ka anyị chọpụta ya ma emechaa, banyere ụkpụrụ omume nke ndị nọ n’okpuru na ndị nwe ha. Ọ dị mma, gịnị ka ị nwetara, ihe dị mkpa?
– Ee!!!
– Kedu ihe ị na-eti, Pygmy abụghị Russian?
– Ndo, ee.
– Ọ dị mma, anyị ga-ekwukwa maka oke nke ụda olu ekwenye ekwenti mkparịta ụka ekwentị, nke etinyere n’ọgụgụ mbụ nke nzukọ ndị omebe iwu nke Moscow na Russia.. yabụ, kedu maka gị, Sneak Bug? Bịa n’otu ngwa, abịaghị m ọmụmụ ihe.
– you lere anya n’abali ikpeazụ nke mbipụta nke Oku Oku?
– Ee e, enwere m DiViDishka. Na gịnị?
– Na St Petersburg, ezuru Nose ihe ncheta.
– Ma gịnị?
– Ọ ga-amasị m inyocha ikpe a, ọ bụrụ n’ịhapụ m, Mr. Mazị Marshall.
– Kedu ihe imi ọzọ, onweghi onye kọọrọ m, na-ekwu okwu karịa. Kedu ihe ncheta nke imi ha bibiri?
– Odi nma, ya na Gogol..
– Gogol imi ka ebipu?
– Ee e, Gogol nwere akụkọ gbasara FNL.
– Ma gịnị?
– Na nsọpụrụ nke akụkọ a, e debere ihe ncheta na St Petersburg ma zuru ohi. Amaara m onye nwere ike ime ya.
– Enweghị ebe obibi ma ọ bụ gịnị? Ọ dịghị onye ọzọ. Ọ bụ ọla kọpa. Kedu ihe ị chọrọ n’aka m?
– Gbalịa azụmaahịa a.
– Ya mere kpachie anya, kedu ihe ọ bụ? Kama ọ bụ naanị n’oge ị na-enweghị ego.
– Mana a ga – achọ mmefu, mmefu njem, nri, ụlọ ezinaụlọ, njem tagzi.
– M-ee. Ọ dị mkpa ịmalite na nke a. Nke ahụ bụ naanị ịbanye na St. Petersburg, ị nwekwara ike iji ụgbọ oloko na-agba bekee, ihe omume Bomzhovskoe, yabụ na ụlọ oriri na ọ hasụ hasụ enweghị ya. You nwere ike ịgbanwe ya na ọdụ ma ọ bụ, kachasị njọ, na ndị na-enweghị ebe obibi na okpuru ulo. Ha ga-eripịa ha. N’obodo na ụkwụ ịnwere ike iji ụkwụ St. St. Enweghị ego na mmefu ego ruo mgbe m gwụchara ụlọ. Odi nma, I ghotara m?
– Sitekwa na tebụl ego nke ike m? Ahụrụ m obere ebe a na ụma sitere n’aka ndị ọrụ ugbo mkpokọ.
– Na otutu?
– Ee, nke ahụ ezuru na nke mbụ.
– Ọ dị mma. Were ya na akaụntụ ahụ. Ọ bụrụ n’ezie dozie nsogbu ahụ, a ga m akwụghachi ụgwọ nnabata nke ahịa, mana ọ dịghị?! Ọ bụghị maka m ikpebi, n’ihi na ego bụ nke ọha.
– Ezi, Eximendius Janis oglu Snegiryov. N’ezie, enwere m obere oge, mana m ga-abịa ihe. – Ottila tinyere ekwentị ma dinaa na tebụl, ogwe aka agbatị.
– Lee ya, azụmaahịa ọhụụ! Ugbu a, ha ga-achọpụta ihe gbasara m na Petrovka 38.
Ọnụ ụzọ ahụ kụrụ, na nnukwu Isolde Fifovna, ọkara ya, pụtara.
– Will ga eri? – nwanyị ji nwayọ rịọ ya, – ọ bụghịkwa na tebụl a na-azọ ije, m hichapụ ya.
– Aga m eri nri ụtụtụ ebe a!
– Gịnị ka ọ pụtara HERE? Adị m ka onye na-elekọta anya ma ọ bụ ihe? Gaa na kichin rie ihe dika ndi ozo. Agaghị m ebu.
– Ọ