The Heart of Midlothian & Rob Roy. Walter Scott
the same time to see how long his humour of contradiction would prevail over his desire of speaking upon the subject which was obviously uppermost in his mind.
“Am trenching up the sparry-grass, and am gaun to saw some Misegun beans; they winna want them to their swine’s flesh, I’se warrant — muckle gude may it do them. And siclike dung as the grieve has gien me!— it should be wheat-strae, or aiten at the warst o’t, and it’s pease dirt, as fizzenless as chuckie-stanes. But the huntsman guides a’ as he likes about the stable-yard, and he’s selled the best o’ the litter, I’se warrant. But, howsoever, we mauna lose a turn o’ this Saturday at e’en, for the wather’s sair broken, and if there’s a fair day in seven, Sunday’s sure to come and lick it up — Howsomever, I’m no denying that it may settle, if it be Heaven’s will, till Monday morning,— and what’s the use o’ my breaking my back at this rate?— I think, I’ll e’en awa’ hame, for yon’s the curfew, as they ca’ their jowing-in bell.”
Accordingly, applying both his hands to his spade, he pitched it upright in the trench which he had been digging and, looking at me with the air of superiority of one who knows himself possessed of important information, which he may communicate or refuse at his pleasure, pulled down the sleeves of his shirt, and walked slowly towards his coat, which lay carefully folded up upon a neighbouring garden-seat.
“I must pay the penalty of having interrupted the tiresome rascal,” thought I to myself, “and even gratify Mr. Fairservice by taking his communication on his own terms.” Then raising my voice, I addressed him,—“And after all, Andrew, what are these London news you had from your kinsman, the travelling merchant?”
“The pedlar, your honour means?” retorted Andrew —“but ca’ him what ye wull, they’re a great convenience in a country-side that’s scant o’ borough-towns like this Northumberland — That’s no the case, now, in Scotland;— there’s the kingdom of Fife, frae Culross to the East Nuik, it’s just like a great combined city — sae mony royal boroughs yoked on end to end, like ropes of ingans, with their hie-streets and their booths, nae doubt, and their kraemes, and houses of stane and lime and fore-stairs — Kirkcaldy, the sell o’t, is langer than ony town in England.”
“I daresay it is all very splendid and very fine — but you were talking of the London news a little while ago, Andrew.”
“Ay,” replied Andrew; “but I dinna think your honour cared to hear about them — Howsoever” (he continued, grinning a ghastly smile), “Pate Macready does say, that they are sair mistrysted yonder in their Parliament House about this rubbery o’ Mr. Morris, or whatever they ca’ the chiel.”
“In the House of Parliament, Andrew!— how came they to mention it there?”
“Ou, that’s just what I said to Pate; if it like your honour, I’ll tell you the very words; it’s no worth making a lie for the matter —‘Pate,’ said I, ‘what ado had the lords and lairds and gentles at Lunnun wi’ the carle and his walise?— When we had a Scotch Parliament, Pate,’ says I (and deil rax their thrapples that reft us o’t!) ‘they sate dousely down and made laws for a haill country and kinrick, and never fashed their beards about things that were competent to the judge ordinar o’ the bounds; but I think,’ said I, ‘that if ae kailwife pou’d aff her neighbour’s mutch they wad hae the twasome o’ them into the Parliament House o’ Lunnun. It’s just,’ said I, ‘amaist as silly as our auld daft laird here and his gomerils o’ sons, wi’ his huntsmen and his hounds, and his hunting cattle and horns, riding haill days after a bit beast that winna weigh sax punds when they hae catched it.’”
“You argued most admirably, Andrew,” said I, willing to encourage him to get into the marrow of his intelligence; “and what said Pate?”
“Ou,” he said, “what better could be expected of a wheen pock-pudding English folk?— But as to the robbery, it’s like that when they’re a’ at the thrang o’ their Whig and Tory wark, and ca’ing ane anither, like unhanged blackguards — up gets ae lang-tongued chield, and he says, that a’ the north of England were rank Jacobites (and, quietly, he wasna far wrang maybe), and that they had levied amaist open war, and a king’s messenger had been stoppit and rubbit on the highway, and that the best bluid o’ Northumberland had been at the doing o’t — and mickle gowd ta’en aff him, and mony valuable papers; and that there was nae redress to be gotten by remeed of law for the first justice o’ the peace that the rubbit man gaed to, he had fund the twa loons that did the deed birling and drinking wi’ him, wha but they; and the justice took the word o’ the tane for the compearance o’ the tither; and that they e’en gae him leg-bail, and the honest man that had lost his siller was fain to leave the country for fear that waur had come of it.”
“Can this be really true?” said I.
“Pate swears it’s as true as that his ellwand is a yard lang —(and so it is, just bating an inch, that it may meet the English measure)— And when the chield had said his warst, there was a terrible cry for names, and out comes he wi’ this man Morris’s name, and your uncle’s, and Squire Inglewood’s, and other folk’s beside” (looking sly at me)—“And then another dragon o’ a chield got up on the other side, and said, wad they accuse the best gentleman in the land on the oath of a broken coward?— for it’s like that Morris had been drummed out o’ the army for rinning awa in Flanders; and he said, it was like the story had been made up between the minister and him or ever he had left Lunnun; and that, if there was to be a search-warrant granted, he thought the siller wad be fund some gate near to St. James’s Palace. Aweel, they trailed up Morris to their bar, as they ca’t, to see what he could say to the job; but the folk that were again him, gae him sic an awfu’ throughgaun about his rinnin’ awa, and about a’ the ill he had ever dune or said for a’ the forepart o’ his life, that Patie says he looked mair like ane dead than living; and they cou’dna get a word o’ sense out o’ him, for downright fright at their growling and routing. He maun be a saft sap, wi’ a head nae better than a fozy frosted turnip — it wad hae ta’en a hantle o’ them to scaur Andrew Fairservice out o’ his tale.”
“And how did it all end, Andrew? did your friend happen to learn?”
“Ou, ay; for as his walk is in this country, Pate put aff his journey for the space of a week or thereby, because it wad be acceptable to his customers to bring down the news. It’s just a’ gaed aft like moonshine in water. The fallow that began it drew in his horns, and said, that though he believed the man had been rubbit, yet he acknowledged he might hae been mista’en about the particulars. And then the other chield got up, and said, he caredna whether Morris was rubbed or no, provided it wasna to become a stain on ony gentleman’s honour and reputation, especially in the north of England; for, said he before them, I come frae the north mysell, and I carena a boddle wha kens it. And this is what they ca’ explaining — the tane gies up a bit, and the tither gies up a bit, and a’ friends again. Aweel, after the Commons’ Parliament had tuggit, and rived, and rugged at Morris and his rubbery till they were tired o’t, the Lords’ Parliament they behoved to hae their spell o’t. In puir auld Scotland’s Parliament they a’ sate thegither, cheek by choul, and than they didna need to hae the same blethers twice ower again. But till’t their lordships went wi’ as muckle teeth and gude-will, as if the matter had been a’ speck and span new. Forbye, there was something said about ane Campbell, that suld hae been concerned in the rubbery, mair or less, and that he suld hae had a warrant frae the Duke of Argyle, as a testimonial o’ his character. And this put MacCallum More’s beard in a bleize, as gude reason there was; and he gat up wi’ an unco bang, and garr’d them a’ look about them, and wad ram it even doun their throats, there was never ane o’ the Campbells but was as wight, wise, warlike, and worthy trust, as auld Sir John the Graeme. Now, if your honour’s sure ye arena a drap’s bluid a-kin to a Campbell, as I am nane mysell, sae far as I can count my kin, or hae had it counted to me, I’ll gie ye my mind on that matter.”
“You may be assured I have no connection whatever with any gentleman of the name.”
“Ou, than we may speak it quietly amang oursells. There’s baith gude and bad o’ the Campbells, like other names, But