Wit and Humor of the Bible: A Literary Study. Marion D. Shutter
“the oppressed people,” which the modern aspirant to office so earnestly affects. “And in this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came unto the King for judgment; so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.” In one point the comparison between Absalom and his later imitators fails. Absalom, it will be remembered, closed his career by getting hung upon a tree. It is greatly to be regretted that many of our modern demagogues do not complete the parallel.
VI.—Shimei.
If Absalom is a type of the demagogue, Shimei surely is a type of the sycophant. While David was in power, Shimei was devoted. When David was supplanted by the scheming Absalom and went forth heart-broken and weary from the city where he had reigned, Shimei basely deserts him to become the tool of Absalom, and heaps insults upon the head of the fallen monarch. Here is a specimen of his conduct and language: “He cast stones at David and at the servants of King David. * * * And thus said Shimei when he cursed, Come out, come out, thou bloody man and thou man of Belial: the Lord hath returned upon thee all the blood of the house of Saul in whose stead thou hast reigned; and the Lord hath delivered the kingdom into the hand of Absalom thy son; and behold thou art taken in thy mischief because thou art a bloody man.” This exhibition of meanness rouses the just wrath of Abishai, who wishes to put an effectual stop to the miserable proceeding: “Why should this dead dog curse my lord, the King? Let me go over, I pray thee, and take off his head.” But David forbids, and Shimei secure in the continued possession of his head followed after David and his men and “cursed as he went, and threw stones at him and cast dust.” But the scene changes. Absalom lies dead under a heap of stones in the forest. David is returning to Jerusalem as king. A boat has carried him across the Jordan. Who is this that meets him as he lands and fawns upon him? The wretch who stoned and cursed him the other day. It is Shimei who forsook him and pelted him when he was unfortunate, but who returns to offer, “in a bondman’s key,” his humble services when David is restored to power. “Let not my Lord impute iniquity unto me, neither do thou remember that which thy servant did, the day that my lord the king went out of Jerusalem, that the king should take it to heart.” Do not grieve over it, do not take it too sorely. I admit that it was rather hasty and ill-advised. “For thy servant doth know that I have sinned.” To be sure I threw some stones, and kicked up a little dust, and swore a few oaths—very inconsiderate it seems now; but I am willing to forget the whole affair. And see what splendid atonement I offer! “Behold, I am come first this day of all the house of Joseph, to go down to meet my Lord, the King.” Think of that! Ah, it is “my lord, the king” to-day; no longer a “man of Belial.” My lord the king can grant favors. Any little trifle of an office for which he may want an incumbent would be considered. Remember, “I am come this day, the first of all the house of Joseph to go down to meet my lord the king.”
Sterne says: “The wheel turns round once more; Absalom is cast down, and David returns in peace. Shimei suits his behavior to the occasion, and is the first man also who hastens to greet him; and had the wheel turned round a hundred times, Shimei, I dare say, in every period of its rotation would have been uppermost.” Then he adds: “O Shimei, would to heaven when thou wast slain, that all thy family had been slain with thee and not one of thy resemblance left. But ye have multiplied exceedingly and replenished the earth; and if I prophesy rightly, ye will in the end subdue it. Go where you will, in every quarter, in every profession, you see a Shimei following the wheels of the fortunate through thick mire and clay.”
It is not claimed that the writers of the Bible drew these portraits for the purpose of making ludicrous those whom they painted, but the features were in the originals, and they who wrote were simply faithful to nature. They portrayed what they saw. They did not blind themselves to facts; and now worthless usurper, weak-willed giant, churlish country squire of Palestine, grumbling prophet, scheming demagogue and oily sycophant live forever on their canvas. “Now, by two-headed Janus, Nature hath framed strange fellows in her time;” and some of those “strange fellows” lived in Judea thousands of years ago.
III. “TOUCHES OF NATURE.”
“The ludicrous has its place in the Universe; it is not a human invention, but one of the Divine ideas, illustrated in the practical jokes of kittens and monkeys, long before Aristophanes or Shakespeare.”—Holmes.
“TOUCHES OF NATURE.”
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