The Greatest Works of E. F. Benson (Illustrated Edition). E. F. Benson
puzzles, and interrupts me in the middle of my practice to ask for an Athenian sculptor whose name begins with P and is of ten letters."
"Ah, I've got it," said Peppino, "Praxiteles."
Lucia clapped her hands.
"Bravo," she said. "We shall not sit up till morning again."
There was a splendour in the ruthlessness with which Lucia bowled over, like ninepins, every article of her own Riseholme creed, which saw Bolshevism in all modern art, inanity in crossword puzzles and bridge, and aimless vacuity in London . . . Immediately after the fresh tune on the wireless began, and most unfortunately, they came in for the funeral March of a Marionette. A spasm of pain crossed Lucia's face, and Olga abruptly turned off this sad reminder of unavailing woe.
"Go on: I like that tune!" said the drowsy and thoughtless Robert, and a hurried buzz of conversation covered this melancholy coincidence.
It was already late, and Lucia rose to go.
"Delicious evening!" she said. "And lovely to think that we shall so soon be neighbours in London as well. My music-room always at your disposal. Are you coming, Georgie?"
"Not this minute," said Georgie firmly.
Lucia was not quite accustomed to this, for Georgie usually left any party when she left. She put her head in the air as she swept by him, but then relented again.
"Dine tomorrow, then? We won't have any music after this feast tonight," said she forgetting that the feast had been almost completely of her own providing. "But perhaps little game of cut-throat, you and Peppino and me."
"Delightful," said Georgie.
* * *
Olga hurried back after seeing off her other guests.
"Oh, Georgie, what richness," she said. "By the way, of course it was Cortot who was playing the "Moonlight" faster than Cortot plays it."
Georgie put down his tambour.
"I thought it probably would be," he said. "That's the kind of thing that happens to Lucia. And now we know where we are. She's going to make a circle in London and be its centre. Too thrilling! It's all as clear as it can be. All we don't know about yet is the pearls."
"I doubt the pearls," said Olga.
"No, I think there are pearls," said Georgie, after a moment's intense concentration. "Otherwise she wouldn't have told me they appeared in the Sargent portrait of the aunt."
Olga suddenly gave a wild hoot of laughter.
"Oh, why does one ever spend a single hour away from Riseholme?" she said.
"I wish you wouldn't," said Georgie. "But you go off tomorrow?"
"Yes, to Paris. My excuse is to meet my Georgie —"
"Here he is," said Georgie.
"Yes, bless him. But the one who happens to be my husband. Georgie, I think I'm going to change my name and become what I really am, Mrs George Shuttleworth. Why should singers and actresses call themselves Madame Macaroni or Signora Semolina? Yes, that's my excuse, as I said when you interrupted me, and my reason is gowns. I'm going to have lots of new gowns."
"Tell me about them," said Georgie. He loved hearing about dress.
"I don't know about them yet; I'm going to Paris to find out. Georgie, you'll have to come and stay with me when I'm settled in London. And when I go to practise in Lucia's music-room you shall play my accompaniments. And shall I be shingled?"
Georgie's face was suddenly immersed in concentration.
"I wouldn't mind betting —" he began.
Olga again shouted with laughter.
"If you'll give me three to one that I don't know what you were going to say, I'll take it," she said.
"But you can't know," said Georgie.
"Yes I do. You wouldn't mind betting that Lucia will be shingled."
"Well, you are quick," said Georgie admiringly.
* * *
It was known, of course, next morning, that Lucia and Peppino were intending to spend a few weeks in London before selling the house, and who knew what that was going to mean? Already it was time to begin rehearsing for the next May Day revels, and Foljambe, that paragon of all parlour-maids, had been overhauling Georgie's jerkin and hose and dainty little hunting boots with turn-down flaps in order to be ready. But when Georgie, dining at The Hurst next evening, said something about May Day revels (Lucia, of course, would be Queen again) as they played cut-throat with the manual on auction bridge handy for the settlement of such small disputes as might arise over the value of the different suits, she only said: "Those dear old customs! So quaint! And fifty to me above, Peppino, or is it a hundred? I will turn it up while you deal, Georgie!"
This complete apathy of Lucia to May Day revels indicated one of two things, that either mourning would prevent her being Queen, or absence. In consequence of which Georgie had his jerkin folded up again and put away, for he was determined that nobody except Lucia should drive him out to partake in such a day of purgatory as had been his last year . . . Still, there was nothing conclusive about that: it might be mourning. But evidence accumulated that Lucia meant to make a pretty solid stay in London, for she certainly had some cards printed at Ye Signe of Ye Daffodil on the village green where Peppino's poems were on sale, with the inscription
Daisy Quantock had found that out, for she saw the engraved copperplate lying on the counter, and while the shopman's back was turned, had very cleverly read it, though it was printed the wrong way round, and was very confusing. Still she managed to do so, and the purport was plain enough: that Lucia contemplated formally asking somebody to something some time at 25 Brompton Square. "And would she," demanded Daisy, with bitter irony, "have had cards printed like that, if they were only meaning to go up for a week or two?" And if that was not enough Georgie saw a postcard on Lucia's writing table with "From Mrs Philip Lucas, 25 Brompton Square, SW3," plainly printed on the top.
It was getting very clear then (and during this week Riseholme naturally thought of nothing else) that Lucia designed a longer residence in the garish metropolis than she had admitted. Since she chose to give no information on the subject, mere pride and scorn of vulgar curiosity forebade anyone to ask her, though of course it was quite proper (indeed a matter of duty) to probe the matter to the bottom by every other means in your power, and as these bits of evidence pieced themselves together, Riseholme began to take a very gloomy view of Lucia's real nature. On the whole it was felt that Mrs Boucher, when she paused in her bath-chair as it was being wheeled round the green, nodding her head very emphatically, and bawling into Mrs Antrobus's ear-trumpet, reflected public opinion.
"She's deserting Riseholme and all her friends," said Mrs Boucher, "that's what she's doing. She means to cut a dash in London, and lead London by the nose. There'll be fashionable parties, you'll see, there'll be paragraphs, and then when the season's over she'll come back and swagger about them. For my part I shall take no interest in them. Perhaps she'll bring down some of her smart friends for a Saturday till Monday. There'll be dukes and duchesses at The Hurst. That's what she's meaning to do, I tell you, and I don't care who hears it."
That was lucky, as anyone within the radius of a quarter of a mile could have heard it.
"Well, never mind, my dear," said Colonel Boucher, who was pushing his wife's chair.
"Mind? I should hope not, Jacob," said Mrs Boucher. "And now let us go home, or we'll be late for lunch and that would never do, for I expect the Prince of Wales and the Lord Chancellor, and we'll play bridge and crossword puzzles all afternoon."
Such fury and withering sarcasm, though possibly excessive, had, it was felt, a certain justification, for had not Lucia for years given little indulgent smiles when anyone referred to the cheap delights and restless apish chatterings of London? She had always come back from her visits