I Know How A Butterfly Feels. Ann Palmer
son, divides hit time between overseas business ventures, 29 Palms and in Montana for part of the summers. He was the “man” around there and knew how to do just about everything. Mark has had an overseas manufacturing business for years. He is always very entrepreneurial. He was always the most successful and the strength of this family. Martha had always been very capable but without her husband and aging, she doesn’t have the management skills she used to have or just not the energy to create a workload for herself - maybe too much “let it happen” attitude. I understand operating on FAITH, as that is my code in life but I also have to make things happen and have faith that they WILL manifest. So that was my summer family – I appreciated each one for being who they are, even though I may not agree with the way they operate, I honor their right to BE who and what they chose to be as I was the guest. I knew each of them for many years and they had felt like a surrogate family for me.
I still had so much organizing to do in the motor home. It isn’t easy as there are never enough places to put things for full time living. One thing about RV living is if ONE thing is out of place, you have a mess. There always seems to be a lot of things out of place. My leg definitely slowed me down, as well as problems getting the sewer and water connected satisfactorily.
“Everything in its proper time.” With the help of Tim, I finally got connected. The propane service man filled my tank. The phone man finally came to check the layout, next day the phone was connected. I thought my phone would never get installed but finally on Friday, the outside connect was in, then I had to string a 100’ telephone wire into the RV. At last, a dial tone – however, since it was a Friday, I could not subscribe to the only one local Internet server until Monday. On top of that, I did not order a long distance service; therefore, I could not use my AOL, even on long distance or call anyone unless I called collect. Even that became complicated. Ahhh… it seemed my settling-in was finally coming about. My TV had only two very faded giggly stations.
To have my motor home neat with everything in place seems to be a constant “work in progress.” Each day, I sort through things trying to put as much of it as possible in the lower storage compartments. Still, every time I looked around, there was a stack of something else. I love my little portable home. I just wish I wasn’t such a pack rat with my “necessities.” Each time I used some food item, there was a bit of usable space. Oh well, I’m not in a metropolitan area, might as well get used to the simple life and inconveniences of “country” living. Another good thing about aging is that we usually learn to adapt to what is happening, otherwise, we can create illnesses with stress and worry.
I couldn’t wait to get out of the summer heat of the desert but never considered sitting in my motor home watching snowflakes fall in the middle of June! It was simply unbelievable! It had rained part of the day before and all nights, then raindrops were turning into large snowflakes, then hail. The idea of possibly having to turn off my water in June was unthinkable. It didn’t happen. The air felt like air conditioning, then the sun would be shinning brightly. I looked forward to the next few months of summer and getting my writing done.
At least, I was beginning to get my writing area in order. That was the reason for being in Montana. I planned, for the next four months, to totally commit myself to finishing some of the books I had started writing - one in the mid 1980s and several since. The one about my daughter’s disappearance was written in the 1970s and needs a lot of revision. By keeping my expenses down as low as possible, I needed to take the time to concentrate and focus on writing. Will I ever get published? Who knows! At least, if I finish all these writings, I won’t have to return in another life to finish them then!!
June 26th -- One year anniversary of the beginning of my last summer’s trip of 2001 with my “First Love” …
CHAPTER 6
THE SUMMER OF 2001
Last summer’s adventure was so exciting – a dream come true! First, I would like to tell you about my traveling companion. We had nine weeks of travel in the summer of 2001. I don’t know if it is common for us, as we age, to think about our first romance – our first falling in love. “Romance” in those days consisted of hand holding, an arm around the movie seat, an occasional kiss that might work up to passionate “necking” as it was called way back when. Romance or falling in love included heart pounding and zizzy feelings in the stomach. For several years I wondered what had happened to my first love.
Fickle from birth, I was! When my parents moved to a small East Texas town that I disliked immensely, the only bright light for me was the existence of a military academy. As usually, I set my goal on the best looking and most outstanding cadets. I dated several of them, then one day I became aware of a tall good looking cadet with brown hair, brown eyes and a devilish smile. This was Ron from Houston. He was a few days older than me but a year behind me in school so naturally I had been dating and looking for cadets who were upperclassmen.
The meeting place for high school girls and cadets was the corner drug store’s soda fountain on Wednesday afternoons and weekends. The tables and stools were always filled with cadets and girls flirting with each other. There was laughter and a joyful atmosphere. I did not like any part of the local high school; the catty clicks of girls or the town in general, except the excitement of the military school’s cadets. Some may have been from troubled homes but many of them were outstanding and had far more class than the local boys. Even though I was born to my lower middle class family with no expressions of style and elegance, the desire for class ran through my veins. Even with limited income, my parents were both leaders in the community and were good “church-going Texas folks.”
As I began to date Ron I was still dating other cadets. Gradually, in my teen level of consciousness “fell in love.” My diary was filled with how I was falling in love with him. The “in” word then was “bong” for anything you really liked. The diary was filled with “bong, bong, bong” – sounds so silly now. I thought I would die when the time came for him to leave and return home for the summer.
By mid summer my friend’s mother offered to drive us to Houston since we both had beaus there. I rarely traveled so this was an exciting trip to plan. I was guest in Ron’s Mother’s home. We only had the weekend but what a wonderful weekend it was. We went to the beach in Galveston; saw the sights of Houston, including a nightclub. Underage, how we got in has faded from my memory. Otherwise, our romance continued through letter writing and he never liked to write. Each letter was so precious to me that through the passing years I kept them tied in a blue ribbon. In the fall he returned and we continued dating. I was far too fickle to date exclusively. Ron loved music and played in the band. We were both a bit shy. When we had the opportunity to double date with someone with a car (that meant “necking”) we took advantage of it even though cars were off limits for the cadets.
By Christmas, his mother decided to take him out of the Academy at mid term to attend public school in Houston. I cried and cried when we said goodbye at the train station in Dallas. I knew I would never love anyone else and my heart would surely break. Ron was my Price Charming, my Knight in silver armor, how could I ever love again. Reading was not my favorite thing to do but I did read every fairytale book, even into teens. On Saturday mornings I would listen to a radio show “Let’s Pretend”