DANCING WITH THE ICE LADY. Ken Salter
Oh boy, things were getting heavier by the minute. I follow the obits in the Oakland Tribune as well as the police blotter. I had no recollection of police responding to a shooting at a funeral home. If Mrs. Simmons’ story was accurate, someone was killed in the parking lot and the body crisped in the cooker. This was not going to be a simple find the hidden assets and negotiate a deal divorce case. I was just about to ask Mrs. Simmons if she’d ever met the new bookkeeper, Jennifer Wong, and knew when she was hired, when Nate’s phone buzzed loudly.
Saundra had strict instructions not to interrupt Nate during an initial client consultation unless Nate specifically asked her to do so. Nate was so flustered that he pushed the wrong button on the phone console. Instead of Nate hearing Saundra in private, we all got to hear her chide Nate.
“Do you realize that Toni Perkins has been waiting over an hour to see you?” There was a harsh edge to her voice. She was loaded for bear. I knew from experience that if either Nate or I got her on the warpath, we were in for a week or more of hell. Surprisingly, Nate kept his cool even though it was getting to the time in the afternoon when he needed a couple of stiff jolts of Chivas Regal to calm his nerves and maintain his blood alcohol level.
Toni is an unhappy camper. She married a Berkeley switch-hitter in order to conceive a child. The plan was to marry, have the kid and divorce in that order. She and the kid’s father, Benny Ross, even drafted a pre-nuptial agreement themselves providing that Toni would get custody of the kid and Benny could walk away from his legal responsibility to pay child support for the next eighteen years.
The problem was that neither Toni nor Benny had thought much about how cute their baby girl was going to be before she arrived or the legality of their pre-nuptial agreement. Now each wanted custody and control. Toni was keeping house with her current lover, Nancy Schwartz, and desperately needed custody of the kid to keep her shaky relationship with Nancy intact. Nancy wanted to adopt the kid as co-parent. She and Toni were fighting because Toni had screwed up the deal with Benny. Benny and his boyfriend also wanted custody of the kid to cement their new partnership. This was not the sort of mess you wanted to deal with after meeting Gloria Simmons.
While we listened to Saundra scold Nate, I remembered that I hadn’t completed my investigation of Toni’s case. It sounded like Toni’s boiler was about to blow and was putting a head of steam in Saundra’s sails.
Nate masked his annoyance and stated, “I’m still tied up and probably will be for some time to come. Please tell Toni I’m sorry to inconvenience her. Tell Toni that R.C. can meet with her now or she can reschedule a meeting with me.”
We heard muffled noises. Saundra must have put her hand over the phone. Nate interjected, “Tell her R.C. is on his way down and will bring her up to date with the problems we’re having getting Benny to go along with the proposed settlement.” Nate hung up without waiting for a reply.
This is how you know you’re on the bottom rung of the ladder. I was the fall guy. Toni probably had her lover sitting downstairs egging Toni on. I could imagine Nancy Schwartz’ advice over the last hour, “Get tough with these guys. You’re payin’ them big money and they’re playin’ footsy with Benny. Maybe we should be suing Nathan Green and R.C. Bean.”
Nate nodded for me to put on my fireman’s hat. As I got up to leave, he put an arm around my shoulder and said, “I’ve promised Mrs. Simmons that you and I will personally handle all aspects of her case. That means you will discuss your findings only with me and not with other members of our staff.” Nate’s tone was conspiratorial and with his face so close to mine he had to register my astonishment. No wonder Saundra and Marcie were as mad as wasps being smoked out of their nest.
Nate continued, “I’m keeping Mrs. Simmons’ file locked in my office safe for safekeeping. I’ll want to see you first thing in the morning to coordinate a very discreet investigation. Mrs. Simmons fears her movements may be watched, so she may need to meet with you privately, perhaps at her house. I’ve given her your home phone number along with my own. She doesn’t want to call either of us at the office or for us to call her from here. Tidy up whatever outstanding work you’re doing on other cases so you can be free to devote your undivided attention to Mrs. Simmons’ investigation. She’ll call you in a day or so to tell you how and when to meet with her. As she stated, she’s very concerned about the strange doings at the mortuary and the shooting she spoke of; she’ll tell you more about her concerns when you meet.”
As I turned to go, Mrs. Simmons glided in a blur of honey-brown legs to meet me at the door. She extended her hand for me to shake and gave me an intimate smile that started my heart fluttering anew. Her touch sent a jolt of pleasure coursing through my hand and up to my brain. If death by electrocution was anything like this, I was ready to be strapped to the chair.
As we slowly unlocked hands, she locked her eyes with mine and whispered, “I’m really looking forward to meeting with you alone, R.C.” She then said in a voice Nate could hear, “Nice to meet you, R.C. I’ll look forward to providing you with any information you think may be useful. I’ll call you just as soon as I can.”
I took my time descending the stairs to meet the angry reception committee waiting to jump me below. Once I unruffled Toni Perkins’ feathers, I’d have to deal with Saundra and Marcie’s anger. There would be hell to pay when they learned Nate ordered my lips zipped tight and I was to stonewall them regarding all aspects of Mrs. Simmons’ case.
To my knowledge, nothing like this had happened before. Nate’s infatuation with his new client was jeopardizing years of loyalty and trust from his close-knit staff. I was also worried about my own feelings and involvement. Gloria Simmons fascinated me. She was beautiful and classy but I was clearly out of her league. The shooting incident at the mortuary was worrisome. I was sure Mrs. Simmons expected me to solve it so she could use it to her advantage. She triggered erotic and dangerous impulses which both excited me and scared me to death. Just like Nate, I felt a nagging sense that I was being sucked into something sinister and over my head.
Chapter 2
WHEN I REACHED THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS, I noticed Marcie Lynn’s door was open and the office empty. I was sorely tempted to duck into my office and do a bunk through my window which opens onto the parking. It would only make matters worse. Better to face the one-three punch and get it over with. The raised voices of the three furies emanated from Saundra’s reception area signaled they were waiting for me. No mistaking Toni Perkins’ high-pitched cries of indignation over the other voices.
I put on a grin-and-bear-it smile and strode into the room as casually as possible. “Hi Toni. Sorry about the long wait, but I really wanted to explain the problems we’re having. Now that Benny’s represented by an attorney, we can no longer talk with him directly. All communications have to go through his attorney.”
“Just like that two-faced bastard to hide behind the skirts of his pretty-boy attorney. He’s that fucker from the Gay Attorneys Alliance, isn’t he?” Toni said caustically.
“Yeah, unfortunately, he’s hired Archie Fenton. Archie handles lots of cases for the gay community and specializes in child custody and adoption. It’s hard to push him because he knows all the ins and outs of the law even if those laws weren’t written with your problems in mind.” Saundra and Marcie listened to my unconvincing song and dance and just glared at me. They were poised like two lionesses stalking in the high grass waiting for Toni to flush her prey.
“Hey, man, don’t give me any of that ‘what the law means’ shit. Benny knew what he was doing from the get go. He agreed to provide some sperm so I could have my kid and that’s the long and short of it. He didn’t want a kid. He was just doing me and my daughter a favor by making her legit. The plan all along was for me and Nancy to raise our daughter together; he never ever asked for visitation rights. What we put in writing was what he wanted: to be off the hook for child support. So what’s the fuckin’ problem?” Toni shrieked.
“I