Oscar Wilde: The Complete Works. Knowledge house

Oscar Wilde: The Complete Works - Knowledge house


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you. How long could you love a woman who didn’t love you, Cecil?

      cecil graham

      A woman who didn’t love me? Oh, all my life!

      dumby

      So could I. But it’s so difficult to meet one.

      ·95· lord darlington

      How can you be so conceited, Dumby?

      dumby

      I didn’t say it as a matter of conceit. I said it as a matter of regret. I have been wildly, madly adored. I am sorry I have. It has been an immense nuisance. I should like to be allowed a little time to myself now and then.

      lord augustus

      [Looking round.] Time to educate yourself, I suppose.

      dumby

      No, time to forget all I have learned. That is much more important, dear Tuppy. [Lord Augustus moves uneasily in his chair.]

      lord darlington

      What cynics you fellows are!

      cecil graham

      What is a cynic? [Sitting on the back of the sofa.]

      lord darlington

      A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

      cecil graham

      And a sentimentalist, my dear Darlington, is a ·96· man who sees an absurd value in everything, and doesn’t know the market price of any single thing.

      lord darlington

      You always amuse me, Cecil. You talk as if you were a man of experience.

      cecil graham

      I am. [Moves up to front of fireplace.]

      lord darlington

      You are far too young!

      cecil graham

      That is a great error. Experience is a question of instinct about life. I have got it. Tuppy hasn’t. Experience is the name Tuppy gives to his mistakes. That is all. [Lord Augustus looks round indignantly.]

      dumby

      Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.

      cecil graham

      [Standing with his back to the fireplace.] One shouldn’t commit any. [Sees Lady Windermere’s fan on sofa.]

      dumby

      Life would be very dull without them.

      ·97· cecil graham

      Of course you are quite faithful to this woman you are in love with, Darlington, to this good woman?

      lord darlington

      Cecil, if one really loves a woman, all other women in the world become absolutely meaningless to one. Love changes one—I am changed.

      cecil graham

      Dear me! How very interesting! Tuppy, I want to talk to you. [Lord Augustus takes no notice.]

      dumby

      It’s no use talking to Tuppy. You might just as well talk to a brick wall.

      cecil graham

      But I like talking to a brick wall—it’s the only thing in the world that never contradicts me! Tuppy!

      lord augustus

      Well, what is it? What is it? [Rising and going over to Cecil Graham.]

      cecil graham

      Come over here. I want you particularly. [Aside.] Darlington has been moralising and ·98· talking about the purity of love, and that sort of thing, and he has got some woman in his rooms all the time.

      lord augustus

      No, really! really!

      cecil graham

      [In a low voice.] Yes, here is her fan. [Points to the fan.]

      lord augustus

      [Chuckling.] By Jove! By Jove!

      lord windermere

      [Up by door.] I am really off now, Lord Darlington. I am sorry you are leaving England so soon. Pray call on us when you come back! My wife and I will be charmed to see you!

      lord darlington

      [Up stage with Lord Windermere.] I am afraid I shall be away for many years. Good-night!

      cecil graham

      Arthur!

      lord windermere

      What?

      cecil graham

      I want to speak to you for a moment. No, do come!

      ·99· lord windermere

      [Putting on his coat.] I can’t—I’m off!

      cecil graham

      It is something very particular. It will interest you enormously.

      lord windermere

      [Smiling.] It is some of your nonsense, Cecil.

      cecil graham

      It isn’t! It isn’t really.

      lord augustus

      [Going to him.] My dear fellow, you mustn’t go yet. I have a lot to talk to you about. And Cecil has something to show you.

      lord windermere

      [Walking over.] Well, what is it?

      cecil graham

      Darlington has got a woman here in his rooms. Here is her fan. Amusing, isn’t it? [A pause.]

      lord windermere

      Good God! [Seizes the fan—Dumby rises.]

      cecil graham

      What is the matter?

      ·100· lord windermere

      Lord Darlington!

      lord darlington

      [Turning round.] Yes!

      lord windermere

      What is my wife’s fan doing here in your rooms? Hands off, Cecil. Don’t touch me.

      lord darlington

      Your wife’s fan?

      lord windermere

      Yes, here it is!

      lord darlington

      [Walking towards him.] I don’t know!

      lord windermere

      You must know. I demand an explanation. Don’t hold me, you fool. [To Cecil Graham.]

      lord darlington

      [Aside.] She is here after all!

      lord windermere

      Speak, sir! Why is my wife’s fan here? Answer me! By God! I’ll search your rooms, and if my wife’s here, I’ll—— [Moves.]

      ·101· lord darlington

      You shall not search my rooms. You have no right to do so. I forbid you!

      lord windermere

      You scoundrel! I’ll not leave your room till I have searched every corner of it! What moves behind that curtain? [Rushes towards the curtain C.]

      mrs.


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