African Friends and Money Matters, Second Edition. David E. Maranz
in the market, start with a greeting.
Handshakes are closely tied to greetings. One of the first and most important things to know when traveling or living in Africa is the importance of handshakes. Older people are greeted first, seated first, and given precedence when entering a room. Westerners are typically surprised at the frequency and seeming importance both men and women attach to handshakes. Whereas Westerners may greet friends and colleagues with a handshake when they have not met for some time, or when congratulating someone on a special occasion, Africans typically shake hands when coming and going during the course of a given day. One thing to note about handshakes in Africa is that they may be very light, even flaccid, sometimes practically just a touch of hands. The degree of firmness varies from one culture to another, but it is never a sign of a lack of sincerity or character, as such is often interpreted in the West.
The American “group wave,” where one looks around at everyone and waves a greeting to all present, is not appropriate or appreciated. It is too impersonal, showing that one is not taking the time for individual relations. This applies to initial greetings and also to farewells. When it is time to leave a group, farewells are said to everyone present. This includes shaking hands with everyone.
Many Muslim men, especially those older or of higher position, will not shake hands with a woman. Women who meet Muslim men should always wait for the man to initiate any handshake; otherwise it will be awkward for all present if the woman holds out her hand with the man not responding. Christians and adherents to African traditional religion are generally open to handshakes between the sexes.
In some countries it is good to smile at the person being greeted. In other countries “over smiling” may raise suspicions about the person’s sincerity. In all situations and cultures it is good to frankly explain to your counterparts that you are ignorant of appropriate etiquette and culture (which they are doubtlessly aware of but they would say nothing if you didn’t bring up the subject). The degree to which direct eye contact is encouraged, prohibited, or limited varies widely, but is integrally associated with ideas of respect. Whereas Westerners may associate looking directly into people’s faces with respect or honesty, in African societies, avoiding direct gaze with social superiors, older people, or high status individuals may demonstrate “power distance” or respect for the social order.
It is always a good idea to have a “cultural guide” when living in another society. Humbly explain your need of their advice and counsel regarding cultural matters, including the proper way to greet people. Admit your need for instruction. With people who consider you socially or economically superior, it may be necessary to emphasize your seriousness about wanting their opinions; otherwise they may be hesitant to offer counsel to a superior. It will take a good bit of courage for them to do this, because to correct someone above you in the social hierarchy breaks the rules of etiquette. Basically, you’re asking them to be impolite to you, so you’ll need to beg and plead, and be very humble and accepting of any remark they might make.9
9 Hill 1996a:4.
And make sure that you do not shame or anger them if they tell you something they do not appreciate about your behavior. Be prepared to be stoic and not react visibly to uncomplimentary opinions. I have had several occasions when I asked for opinions and received unflattering, but very valuable, responses.
Introductions
Follow the customs or flee the country.
Zulu proverb10
10 Richmond and Gestrin 1998:90.
In urban contexts people want to be introduced to a stranger or visitor. Introductions can vary a great deal from country to country. Sometimes last or first names are used; often the inclusion of a person’s title is mandatory. If an introduction is not forthcoming within a few minutes, a stranger may introduce himself. “It is critically important to take time when you greet someone to make many inquiries into their health and (that) of their relatives…It is considered very rude not to take a considerable amount of time when meeting someone to make these inquiries and express understanding of their responses; he or she will do the same in kind.”11 Africans consider relationships to be an essential part of business.
11 Foster 2002:117.
After introductions in many situations, seating comes next. A stranger to a gathering should never seat himself. Ordinarily the stranger will be told where to sit. Proper seating involves position or role, rank, gender, and age. Depending on the occasion, men, women, and children may be seated separately.
Conversation topics
If you want to keep your workmen, keep your temper.
South African proverb12
12 Richmond and Gestrin 1998:145.
An expatriate may wonder what subjects are appropriate to talk about. Neutral subjects include sports, especially soccer in most African countries. Music, food, art, the country’s history—these are always welcome subjects. If the expat is at least somewhat knowledgeable about these subjects concerning the country involved, this will be received very positively. In business meetings discussion of one’s company and industry will usually be most welcome, as Africans are anxious to better understand the wider world.
In some African cultures it is acceptable to make relevant comments while a person is speaking. In others, it is very impolite to interrupt or interject comments before the person finishes. I did not always recognize this and sometimes noted that people became deeply irritated with me when I tried to interject a comment. Instead of interrupting, there is a constructive way to enter into the conversation: “give the other person signals that he or she is being listened to rather than chime in quickly with your own thoughts.”13 This is part of the rules of conduct found in all societies. They are often highly developed, even ritualized acts, to which people attach great value, even moral value.
13 Foster 2002:121.
There are also subjects that the expat should not bring up or express an opinion on. These include politics, current events that are sensitive within a country, neighboring countries that are in conflict with the host country, current tensions between religions, poverty or slums, and ethnic rivalries. Asking local people about their occupation may not be welcome. On the other hand, expats may be asked about their occupation or even income. When such issues are raised it typically indicates a desire to better understand the Westerner’s country, rather than prying into personal matters. While sex may be an offensive subject, physical features or actions that are taboo for Westerners are by no means identical to those perceived that way by African cultures. Don’t assume that what you can talk about easily will be deemed acceptable. Likewise, suspend your judgment of Africans based on what they joke about or talk about with ease. Bring up subjects that you think you have in common with your acquaintance. Conversation on such topics will help forge personal relationships that will be good for both you and your organization.14
14 Ibid., 207.
Although this is not exactly a subject of conversation, in many African cultures, verbal communication often involves flowery, effusive, even exaggerated speech. To the typical Westerner this may seem extreme and insincere. Contrary to the Westerner’s thinking, this may actually be speech designed to demonstrate the sincerity of the speaker. In some cultures professional “praise singers” are used at weddings, ceremonies, and other occasions. People may actually pay to be spoken well of, or even be praised in verse, extemporaneously. As a Westerner myself I have not been able to understand how this pleases people, but Africans I have talked to have had as hard a time understanding