ELVIS SAILS AGAIN. DAVID J CHRISTOPHER
been hearing all about his gorgeous family, he's been showing me their photographs on his telephone, and his home in the mountains too. He's heading there now with the goats. They are going to service his lady goats, apparently they are prize winning you know. He's got to stop off in Lefkas to pick up a couple of new bells for them."
"Fascinating," said Elvis flatly, "Why have I got to keep my head down then?"
"Well apparently there are usually quite a few policemen in and around Lefkas and technically it's illegal to have someone on the flatbed. Usually the police here aren't interested but sometimes there's a new chief who wants to sweep his clean broom, so to speak so we suggest you lie down flat for a while. Will that be alright?"
"I can't imagine how lying flat on this urine-soaked bed of hay will be a problem," he said, "and how come you've become an expert of Greek policing all in the space of half an hour or so?"
Naomi simply stuck out her tongue and popped her head back inside the cab of the truck. Through the rear window Elvis could see her and Georgios once again engaged in enthusiastic conversation as he pointed out the various sights of Lefkas. Elvis watched him showing Naomi the distinctive brightly coloured corrugated iron houses that made up the old town. He was probably telling her that the houses were built in this temporary fashion because the locals were expecting earthquake at any moment, just like the devastating ones of the 1950s and the regular smaller ones since. In some parts of the world affected by earthquakes architects designed buildings able to withstand the tremors, here they simply let them fall down one day and rebuild them the next. Elvis couldn't help but love that attitude to life, it's wonderful fatality.
Naomi's enthusiastic guide made sure she missed nothing of what Lefkas Town had to offer. After what felt like an age to Elvis, the lorry pulled up in a side street in front of a hardware store. Georgios' tour hadn't left out even one cobbled street, he had also shown Naomi the marina, which was a lot larger than Elvis remembered, and the canal. He had even shown her the bus station and the rubbish dump too.
Lying flat on the bed of the truck with one of the goats nibbling at a piece of straw inches from his left ear, Elvis heard one door slam shut and then the other. Naomi's voice called out cheerily, "Won't be long, Georgios wants to show me the bells, and says I can choose them."
"Have a lovely time and don't give me a second thought. I'm perfectly happy back here with my new friends," called out Elvis sarcastically.
"Okay," Naomi replied ignoring the tone. "We'll leave you kids to it then, get it? Kids, as in goats."
"Can you bring me back a sewing kit," replied Elvis, "I've got to stitch my sides up."
Chapter Ten
"Can you believe it?" asked Cynthia in pure disbelief. "I can't find it anywhere, I'm sure I packed it. I know how much you like it first thing."
"Look I'm sure I can manage without for a few days," said Charles with mounting embarrassment, "it's not like I need it every morning."
"I'm not accepting that, you like it in the morning, can't get going without it."
Charles raised an eyebrow at the suggestion.
"A bit of an exaggeration," he suggested. "It's true, I do like it in the morning, but I'm not addicted.
"My Charles is not going to do without his Marmite on toast, not if my name is Cynthia Annabelle Entwistle-Brown."
"Technically it's not dear, we never actually registered the hyphenated bit," he replied.
Cynthia stared and Charles withered. The name was an ongoing bone of contention between them. She insisted it made them sound more acceptable socially, as she put it. He thought it pretentious and faintly ridiculous. She felt it lent them gravitas, and certainly she preferred it to the more mundane Cynthia Brown, which she would otherwise be. Cynthia Entwistle-Brown had a much classier ring. He pointed out that double-barrel names were two a penny now, never failing to point out the latest example from the sports pages of his Times.
The couple were with Richard and Anne in the queue at Lidl, a couple of miles outside Lefkas. It was Cynthia's decision that they go shopping for the essential items suggested on the information sheet. None of them felt like shopping in a large noisy supermarket, but Cynthia had taken one look at the prices in the locally owned convenience store close to the pontoon and decided that they must find something cheaper.
"And somewhere that sells marmite for my Charles," she said.
"I didn't imagine I'd be shopping in Lidl today," muttered Richard, who was not a fan of supermarkets in general and low-cost ones in particular.
He had been delighted when it had been announced that Waitrose was coming to Truro and he told Anne with great gusto that "he would no longer be gracing Asda in Falmouth with his custom." Anne pointed out that he "always stayed in the car outside listening to Five Live on his radio, whilst she fought her way around the cavernous shop, so what was the difference?" Charles replied, "a much better class of car park."
"Tell me again how much money we are saving by shopping here Cynthia?" asked Richard. "It's marvellous we're helping to support the giant pan European Lidl, rather than the family run supermarket in Nidri."
If Cynthia caught his sarcasm, she chose to ignore it.
"Well, the information sheet suggested that each of us should drink at least two litres of water a day. There are four of us so that's eight litres a day. There are seven days of the cruise, consequently we need...." she paused as she tried to compute the sum, "62 litres."
"I think it's 56 litres actually dear," piped up Charles, "though of course here they only sell water in packs of six so we have to buy either 54 or 60. We've chosen 60, so, in consequence we have bought four more than we need."
"No one likes a smarty pants Charles; you'll thank me when you're dehydrating like a prune later in the week. By my reckoning, per litre we have paid 25 cents. In the local store we would have paid 30 cents. Thus, we have saved five cents per litre or......"
"Three Euros, or at the current rate of exchange something like £2.70," replied Charles
"Thank you darling," said Cynthia. "Every little helps and that is three euros we can spend on something else."
"Except that we've got four litres that we don't need, which means we've spent one euro more than we had to, so in reality our saving is two euros or £1.60" said Charles.
"Again, thank you, it is possible to over analyse you know."
"Given that we are splitting the cost 50/50, may I just say, and here I think I speak for my wife too, that we are delighted to have saved our 80p. There is one small blot on the horizon though," Richard said.
"Which is?" asked Cynthia sensing a sting in this tail.
"We paid ten euros for the taxi here, and unless we're planning on walking back with this lot balanced on our heads, we're going to need another ten euros to get back again.."
"Yes, well, you have a point, but look here," she said, "at least Charles will have his marmite in the morning."
She held the little jar high above her head.
As they lugged the water down the pontoon later, Barry spotted the bright yellow bags.
"I see you've done the Lidl trip," he said with a deep sigh. "Rookie error may I say. The problem you've got now, is where do you store all the water? Very little room on board for that quantity. Much better to do as we do, support the locals and buy as you sail, so to speak. Hope you don't mind me saying but as an experienced flotilla sailor, I want to help."
"Ruddy know all," muttered Cynthia going below and then tripping over the bottles stacked high in the passageway.
"Charles, can't you find somewhere else to put those things, I nearly broke my neck?" she moaned.
"Certainly dear, I'll put them in the cellar," said Charles.
Thank you," said Cynthia, "much better."
William,