Blood of Tyrants. Logan Beirne
his shoeless—and even shirtless—men, Washington confiscated supplies along the way.
“I doubt not that in some points I may have strained the law,” he recorded, “but I hope, as my sole motive was to expedite the march, I shall be supported in it, should my authority be questioned, which at present I do not apprehend, unless some busybody intermeddles.”8 Bending the rules as his unit slowly disintegrated in the middle of the vast wilderness, Washington was not only wary of Native American attack, but above all feared disgrace before his superiors back in Virginia.9
It was at this increasingly desperate time that he received intelligence from his Native American ally, a shrewd Seneca warrior named Chief Tanacharison. Although not the actual ruler of the Iroquois Confederacy that dominated much of the region, Tanacharison was called the “Half King” due to his diplomatic and military leadership within the confederation. The man’s very appearance provoked fear in the British and French alike: usually bare-chested except for ornamental necklaces that swung around his sinewy neck, the Half King wore large earrings in his startlingly stretched earlobes. Above a dark, weathered face and wrinkled brow, his bronzed head was bald except for long, braided hair stemming from the very back of his scalp.10 And this menacing warrior had an ax to grind—both figuratively and literally.
The Half King harbored a seething hatred for the French, whom he accused of boiling and eating his father.11 Tanacharison was born into a tribe described by Jesuit missionaries as “altogether barbarous, being cruel, sly, cunning, and prone to bloodshed and carnage,” and his vendetta was no trivial matter.12 He viewed the British “fools” as the lesser of two evils and was eager to fight alongside them to exact his revenge.13 So he approached Washington with a report that a French scouting party of approximately fifty soldiers loomed nearby.14 The Half King convinced the young Virginian that they “had bad hearts” and were “resolved to strike the first English they meet.”15
Under strict orders from the French governor not to attack unless provoked, these French soldiers were likely to be little threat. France’s explicit goal, in fact, was to “keep up that Union which exists between the [British and French] Crowns.”16 Although Washington was likewise ordered in no uncertain terms to act “on the defensive,” he feared imminent attack and lusted for a glorious military victory before his enemies could strike.17 Late that night, Washington led his small force on an eight-hour march “in small path, & heavy rain, and night as dark as it is possible to conceive,” to rendezvous with the Half King’s war party.18 “They groped their way in single file, by footpaths through the woods, in a heavy rain and murky darkness, tripping occasionally and stumbling over each other, sometimes losing the track for fifteen or twenty minutes,” but found the enemy camp before sunrise.19
Disregarding his direct order to warn all Frenchmen away before initiating hostilities, Washington was persuaded by Tanacharison to stage a joint strike. He approached with his exhausted men “in Indian fashion,” stealthily setting up his ambush.20 He and his still-soaked team peered over a small cliff at the French force, whose blue, well-tailored uniforms made them absurdly obvious targets against the muted browns and greens of the early morning forest floor.21 Washington’s hodgepodge group of young militiamen presented a stark contrast to their foes’ prim color coordination. Some, like Washington, boasted decorative red uniforms complete with three-pointed black hats. Others sported the tattered remains of the earth-toned wool and linen coats and breeches that they wore on their farms back home. Whatever their dress, all had guns pointed at their French foes.
They patiently aimed between the small maples that clung to the cracks in the outcropping and waited with bated breath in anticipation of an intense firefight. Alongside Tanacharison’s braves, they watched their prey wake and prepare for the day. The groggy, unsuspecting French party was surrounded.22
In his signature gallant fashion, Washington rose from his hiding place at seven o’clock and boomingly ordered the attack.23 A startled French sentry attempted to sound an alarm, but to no avail, as he quickly fell to the Americans’ lead. Although they were meant to serve more as a construction crew than a lethal fighting force, Washington’s men proved exceedingly efficient in mowing down their targets as they took “their Arms, and fir’d briskly till [the French] were defeated.”24 After this brief, bloody firefight, a majority of the Frenchmen were killed or captured.
Washington’s formal report back to his commander described the battle with detached military precision: “I there upon in conjunction with the Half King . . . formed a disposition to attack them on all sides, which we accordingly did and after an Engagement of abt 15 minutes we killed 10, wounded one and took 21 prisoners, amongst those that were killed was Monsieur De Jumonville, the Commander.”25 His diary account provided a fuller picture, albeit one that still glossed over the more gruesome details: “we killed Mr. de Jumonville—also nine others . . . . The Indians scalped the dead.”26 Washington’s brevity, however, was largely self-serving. Though accounts of that day differ, it appears that Washington was actually covering up a massacre.27
After the firing abated, the French regiment’s wounded commanding officer, Joseph Coulon de Villiers de Jumonville, attempted to negotiate a surrender.28 He handed Washington papers showing that the party was merely on a diplomatic mission. But as Washington attempted to translate them from French, Tanacharison seized the opportunity to exact his revenge.29 Shouting “Tu n’es pas encore mort, mon père,” which translates as “You are not yet dead, my father,” he split Jumonville’s skull with his hatchet and plunged his hands into the Frenchman’s brain.30 “The tall Virginian who until that instant had thought himself in command did nothing while the Half King’s warriors, as if on signal, set about killing the wounded,” an egregious violation of European military protocol.31 Washington, powerless, stared in horror as the helpless Frenchmen were cut down in a bloody rage. In a matter of seconds, nearly all of the injured Frenchmen were slaughtered before his eyes.32
Fearing French reprisal as well as damage to his own reputation, Washington astutely communicated only the most self-aggrandizing details back to Virginia. In demonstration of his bravery, he wrote, “I heard the bullets whistle, and, believe me, there is something charming in the sound.”33 But despite his best efforts, the cover-up was unsuccessful and word of the massacre quickly reached the colonial, British, and French governments. The French were incensed by the atrocity and readied their counterattack against Washington and his countrymen. In London, the debacle was derided as “a volley fired by a young Virginian in the backwoods of America [that] set the world on fire.”34 Washington’s scandalous “Jumonville Affair” had sparked the global Seven Years’ War.
This telling episode serves as a symbolic prelude to Washington’s epic role in achieving the United States’ independence. The life-and-death struggles were violent. They were desperate. They were messy. And above all, Washington did what he thought necessary to defend his country. In doing so, the “Founder of Our Nation” sent shockwaves throughout the world and set enduring precedents that continue to define us to this day. With so many repercussions across space and time, this real life story holds more twists than any fiction writer could invent.
History books often portray Washington as a semi-omniscient demigod who was so unlike us that he never struggled to find his way. America has lost sight of the man and replaced his memory with a distant sphinx. This is not a new phenomenon. When British novelist William Makepeace Thackeray made Washington into a character in The Virginians in 1857, it elicited public outcry. America was horrified at the attempt to portray Washington “like other men.”35 One critic of the book exclaimed, “Washington was not like other men; and to bring his lofty character down to the level of the vulgar passions of common life, is to give the lie to the grandest chapter in the uninspired annals of the human race.”36
Nathaniel Hawthorne joked, “Did anyone ever see Washington nude? It is inconceivable. He had no nakedness, but I imagine he was born