Imaginary Vessels. Paisley Rekdal

Imaginary Vessels - Paisley Rekdal


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carrying, but will not tell me what

      or when. Black hope rises,

      bursts inside me. “It’s an aggravate of sells,” he says—

      The world grows thin. My friend packs up the toys and kit,

      tapping at her soapy vial.

      She shakes up the foam and sticks in the pipe.

      A world blows up.

      The mother and child float by in it.

      Shouldn’t it ache, this slit

      into the sweet

      and salt mix of waters

      composing the mussel,

      its labial meats

      winged open: yellow-

      fleshed, black and gray

      around the tough

      adductor? It hurts

      to imagine it, regardless

      of the harvester’s

      denials, swiveling

      his knife to make

      the incision: one

      dull cyst nicked

      from the oyster’s

      mantle—its thread of red

      gland no bigger

      than a seed

      of trout roe—pressed

      inside this mussel’s

      tendered flesh.

      Both hosts eased

      open with a knife

      (as if anything

      could be said to be eased

      with a knife):

      so that one pearl

      after another can be

      harvested, polished,

      added to others

      until a single rope is strung

      on silk. Linked

      by what you think

      is pain. Nothing

      could be so roughly

      handled and yet feel

      so little, your pity

      turned into part of this

      production: you

      with your small,

      four-chambered heart,

      shyness, hungers, envy: what

      in you could be so precious

      you would cleave

      another to keep it

      close? Imagine

      the weeks it takes to wind

      nacre over the red

      seed placed at another

      heart’s mantle. The mussel

      become what no one

      wants to:

      vessel, caisson, wounded

      into making us

      the thing we want

      to call beautiful.

      shaking out its corona of tail feathers is like light

      glowing in a bulb, a man

      dancing inside an elevator: the space

      too small to quite contain him, yet

      contain him it does; the way a cloud

      keeps some portion of the sea inside it or a box

      encloses air, encloses also

      the philosophical cat both dead and alive

      inside it. The way a car inhales the gas

      containing bones of dissolved dinosaurs

      and the cheese breeds mold to heal the cut that holds

      the hurt cradled inside the body, the blood

      thick with the trace of all things

      we might yet express or become, such as

      the mathlete or music lover, who holds first

      one note and then the next inside her ear.

      We try to pin the mind’s attention to the task at hand

      though the mind can sometimes falter, the way

      a tongue sometimes cannot rein in the word

      whose meaning may escape it, may be captured

      so perfectly within its syllables for once

      the desire/the surprise/the distaste churn

      palpably when uttered; just as the parent’s past churns

      inside the child’s future or the identity of the stranger

      hides inside the mundane title with which

      we greet him. There are lies we clasp to ourselves

      upon waking, truths with which we worry

      ourselves to sleep, dreams memory struggles

      to capture in the retelling: only the ends remain

      in which the building crumbles back to dust

      or the mother steps, naked, out of her unzipped skirt:

      an image that bears the seed of future therapy.

      One book contains at least a dozen others, the scarlet

      bitterness of its pith conceals the sweetness

      of the mangosteen and, when saddest, we suspect everyone

      embraces someone else, though many don’t.

      We think a woman shelters a house, husband and a child

      inside her, that a man might accommodate

      no one else. The party can hold its liquor

      only so long, as we can maintain faith that requires us

      to keep two contradictions alive at once, like day

      and night tucked into the same sunset or the sudden

      hatreds ignited by love: the patience

      with which we hold still for the camera, believing

      it will shore up time, and knowing it won’t.

      And the black water under the boats with their pools

      of bilge rainbowed out like rinds

      of steak fat, the salt thick

      in my nostrils, but pleasant, too: details

      I still keep from Bishop’s poem, everything

      else about it lost. At the docks,

      I watched my friend slip

      in her rubber boots; the wide, wet planks

      glossy with mosses. You must walk

      duck-footed to get to the boats, the black-and-orange


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