The Extraordinary Parents of St. Thérèse of Lisieux. Helene Mongin
who would trust our work? Yet that is what happened in a very short time because we started working the very next day.”7 She wasn’t even twenty years old. Zélie established herself as a maker of Alençon-style lace and as the proprietor of that business.
Father Piat gives us another wonderful description, this time of Zélie:
Somewhat shorter than average, a very pretty and innocent face, brown hair in a simple style, a long well-shaped nose, dark eyes glowing with decision that occasionally had a shadow of melancholy, she was an attractive young woman. Everything about her was vivacious, refined, and amiable. With a lively and refined spirit, good common sense, great character, and above all an intrepid faith, this was an above-average woman who could draw people’s attention.8
As the years went by, divided between prayer and work, she bonded even more with her sister in the midst of the trials of starting up a business and the trial of an opposite vocation for Élise. Élise had been interested in cloistered life but had run into obstacle after obstacle because of health issues and attacks of scrupulosity. On April 7, 1858, she finally landed at the doorstep of the Visitation Monastery in Le Mans with the radical desire of becoming a saint. For Zélie the separation was heart-rending. At that time she could barely stand to be separated from her sister even for an afternoon. “What will you do when I am not here any more?” her sister had asked her.9 Zélie said she would leave too. And that is what she did three months after her sister entered the convent. She went in a new direction … to marry Louis.
Louis’s mother, Fanny Martin, was taking some lessons in lacemaking in Alençon and met Zélie, whom she immediately appreciated; with her solid maternal instinct, she saw in her an ideal daughter-in-law. She talked about her to Louis, doubtless presenting more arguments to him about her piety than her beauty. Louis’s resistance was overcome and he was open to meeting Zélie.
Zélie didn’t have an attentive mother to counsel her, but she had the Holy Spirit: Zélie crossed paths by chance with Louis for the first time on a bridge. Not only did his attractive appearance vividly impress her, but again an inner voice confirmed to her, “This is the one I have prepared for you.” Young people in the process of discernment could envy such clarity. But let’s not forget that Zélie, like Louis, had done all she could to find her vocation and had gone through deserts for it. She also had her heart open enough to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit in this way. The Spirit didn’t have to reveal the name of “the promised one” since Fanny Martin would take care of that a few days later.
The two young people met in April 1858 and quickly grew fond of each other, rapidly establishing a rapport. They got engaged, and with the consent of the priest who prepared them for marriage they decided to get married on July 13.
Nine children were born from this union. Louis and Zélie raised them while continuing in their watchmaking and lace-making professions. Five daughters were born who lived: Marie in 1860, Pauline in 1861, Léonie in 1863, Céline in 1869, and Thérèse in 1873. Four little “angels” left early for heaven: Hélène in 1870 (at the age of 5), Joseph in 1866, Jean-Baptiste-Joseph in 1867, and their first daughter named Thérèse, in 1870.
2 Father Stéphane-Joseph Piat, O.F.M., Histoire d’une famille [The Story of a Family] (1946; repr ed., Paris: Téqui, 1997), p. 13. Future references to this work will be indicated by HF and page number.
3 People can visit the Pavilion in Alençon, and no place reveals Louis’s soul better to a pilgrim than this place.
4 HF, p. 25.
5 Correspondence familiale (1863-1885) [Family Correspondence from 1863 to 1885] (Paris: Éditions du Cerf, 2004), Letter 15. Future citations from this text will be listed as CF with the letter number.
6 The “Blues,” named for the color of their uniforms, were the troops supporting the new republic that fought against the peasants during the French Revolution.
7 HF, p. 29.
8 HF, p. 32.
9 CF 190.
Chapter 2
A Marriage of Love
What kind of couple were Louis and Zélie? Let’s look at their foundation in God as a couple on July 13, 1858.
They were married at the odd hour of midnight, a local tradition. Louis gave his wife a beautiful medallion representing Tobit and Sarah, the biblical couple. Tobit, during the night of his wedding, had prayed: “O Lord, I am not taking this sister of mine because of lust, but with sincerity. Grant that I may find mercy and may grow old together with her” (Tb 8:7).
Fifteen years later Zélie would tell her daughter Pauline the story of her first day of marriage, which wasn’t a typical first day for a young couple. After going to the convent to present her husband to her sister (now Sister Marie-Dosithée), she spent the day in tears. Seeing her sister as a nun awoke the suffering of their separation and stirred up her regret at the loss of a consecrated life, especially since she had just now committed to live “in the world” because of her marriage. But there is also a more delicate shock to recount: the prior evening, Louis had to explain to her “the things of life,” as they used to say for modesty’s sake—that is to say, the facts about sexuality, which Zélie had been perfectly ignorant of. It’s an ignorance we find astounding in our age, but it was quite common at that time.
One can easily imagine Zélie’s difficulty in absorbing these sudden revelations, a difficulty which could also explain her tears the following day. This is the point at which Louis—with an uncommon sensitivity—proposed that they live as brother and sister. The reasons for this proposition were not only the respect he had for his wife but also his aspiration to be a saint. He had studied the issue of virginity in marriage and his notebooks contain several texts on the validity of marriages that are not consummated, with Mary and Joseph being the perfect example. For these young people who had dreamed of consecrating themselves to God at a time when the perfection of virginity was highly praised by the Church, this seemed to be the solution: to marry, but to live in the marriage like religious.
We can smile at this plan today, but we need to understand the generosity and respect for the other that underlies it. Speaking in euphemistic words about this choice when she told Pauline about her first day of marriage, Zélie commented: “Your father understood me and comforted me the best he could since he had inclinations that were similar to mine. I believe our mutual affection was even more increased through this, and we were always united in our feelings.”10 Louis and Zélie had an experience of chastity similar to that of young people today who are chaste before marriage, and they testify by what followed to the solidity that such a choice produced in them as a couple. During this period, Zélie wrote to her sister how happy she was. They lived as brother and sister for ten months, meanwhile opening themselves up to life by taking in for a time a small boy that a recently widowed and overwhelmed father had entrusted to them. It was a time of maturation for them as a couple and of better understanding their vocation.