The Woman's Book of Hope. Eileen Campbell
would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decisions
Raising in one's favor all manner
Of unforeseen incidents and meetings
And material assistance
Which no man could have dreamt
Would come his way.
We can also be inspired by what others have achieved, even against great odds, for it enables us to realize we are not alone in this process of trying to hold on to our ideals. Believing in ourselves, we can value the life we've lived so far that has given us experience and understanding. Knowing that our time on earth is limited, we can focus on our priorities and harness the power of intention. As our awareness develops, the life force can flow through us, and we can more easily access opportunities. While staying grounded, we also keep the faith and hold on to our ideals.
1. Breaking through our resistance and doubt
In spite of our decision to opt for hope and pursue our vision, we may at times find that our old habits of thought and feeling get in the way. When we encounter an unexpected stumbling block, our doubts and fears surface once again and lead us astray. How do we go about breaking through our resistant patterns?
We have to remind ourselves that the choice is ours. We are responsible for our thoughts and our actions, regardless of the circumstances we find ourselves in. Why revert to a way of thinking that has not served us well? Far better to go forward in hope, remembering that life is full of possibilities. Where we are is the result of choices we have made so far. Setbacks are merely the challenges that, as we consider and deal with them, make us stronger and more determined to achieve our goals.
Amelia Earhart, the American pioneer aviator, knew from the moment she first went in a plane in 1920 that she absolutely had to fly. She had emerged from a troubled childhood longing to be a successful woman. Her hospitalization with pneumonia resulted in chronic sinusitis, which later became a significant handicap to her flying. But Amelia was not going to let anything like that hold her back from achieving her dream and becoming “Queen of the Air.” She had to work hard at a variety of jobs to save enough money for flying lessons, and she had various sinus operations to try to improve her condition. Undeterred, she went on to make her first solo flight across North America, and she became the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean. There must have been occasions when she had her doubts, but she clung tenaciously to her dream. As she so aptly put it, “The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is tenacity.”
J. K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series of books, conceived the idea for the series while on a delayed train; she also held on to her vision in spite of difficulties. In the seven years that followed her first having the idea, her mother died, her first child was born, she was divorced from her first husband, and she was then living on state benefits as a single parent. We know that it wasn't easy for her because she has been open about feeling a failure. She was diagnosed with clinical depression and even contemplated suicide. She kept going, however, until she finished her first novel. Several rejections didn't make her give up, and within five years she had become the success story that we all know about. Now a multimillionaire, she has a charitable trust with a mission to combat poverty and social inequality.
For each one of us facing doubts—head-on is the only way through them. Letting go of old patterns requires courage, but when we refuse to let fears, doubts, or rejections bring us down, and maintain instead a hopeful and positive attitude, the path forward becomes clearer. Expecting good things to happen while continuing on the path means we are more likely to be able to respond to the good that is all around us.
I have the will and determination to reach my goal and the strategy to get there.
I am committed to my vision of the future.
I maintain a positive and hopeful attitude and expect good things to happen.
2. Reminding ourselves of the heroism of others
One of the things that can really help us when coming up against setbacks, and perhaps grappling with doubts about achieving our goals, is to look at how others have coped in difficult situations. What kept them going when times were tough? How did they manage to summon up hope even in the most dangerous of circumstances?
Amanda Berry was one of three girls kidnapped and held captive for over a decade in a house in Cleveland. Repeatedly raped, psychologically abused, and threatened with death if she tried to escape, Amanda kept a secret diary that she later drew on to write her book Hope (together with Gina Dejesus). In it, she writes of trying to wire her mind to “focus on the hopeful thoughts, push out the negative ones.” While in captivity, she gave birth to a daughter, whom she tried to raise as normally as possible given the horrendous conditions of her captivity. She also made a promise to herself that when she was free, she would “live, laugh, love,” and remember every moment as a gift. “I am a believer in the power of hope…,” she wrote.
The young women escaped in 2013, and in May 2014 they were invited to Washington by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, an organization that helped the families of the three girls when they were abducted. They received the Hope Award, which is given every year to someone who inspires hope for missing children.
Although she may never know why what happened to her did happen, there is no doubt that the decade in captivity changed Amanda. She wrote that she was stronger and more aware of the importance of kindness. Above all, because she knows that life can change in seconds, her appreciation of the little things in life has become paramount. Ten years in the life of a young girl is a long time to keep hope alive, but Amanda's story shows what is possible in a seemingly impossible situation. We have a choice, whatever our situation, to choose how we respond, as the Dalai Lama reminds us:
We can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us, and make us kinder.
The women of the Standing Rock Sioux Reservation in North Dakota are heroines who have not given up on hope. Resisting the construction of an oil pipeline that desecrated sacred burial and prayer sites and that threatened the water supply of the surrounding Native American community, these women have never given up hope in spite of being sprayed with tear gas and rubber bullets. Prepared to risk their lives, they have vowed to continue the strug- gle, believing that their ultimate weapon is prayer, as expressed here in this Pueblo prayer:
Hold on to what is good,
Even if it's a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe,
Even if it's a tree that stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do,
Even if it's a long way from here.
We can empathize with these courageous women who have held on to their ideals, and we can see that our own lives need not be overcome by sorrow and despair. Other women's stories of the challenges they faced and how they held on to hope are an inspiration to us all.
I know I always have a choice in how I respond to life.
I remind myself that every moment of life is a gift.
I stand firm in my belief in what is good.
3. Believing in ourselves and the value of our experience
Sometimes we doubt that we have the requisite strength and ability to hold on to our vision. Occasionally, we beat ourselves up because we've fallen short of our ideals in some way or wandered off track, so cultivating self-belief is really important for us all.
We need to remember that we are each unique, with particular gifts