Expect Nothing. Clarice Bryan
EXPECT NOTHING
A ZEN GUIDE
EXPECT NOTHING
A ZEN GUIDE
CLARICE BRYAN
JOURNEY EDITIONS
BOSTON • TOKYO • SINGAPORE
This edition published in 200 I by Journey Editions, an imprint of Periplus Editions (HK) Ltd., with editorial offices at 364 Innovation Drive, North Clarendon, VT 05759 U.S.A.
Copyright © 200 I Clarice Bryan
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior written permission from journey Editions.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Bryan, Clarice
Expect Nothing: A Zen Guide / Clarice Bryan.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN: 1-58290-039-6
ISBN: 978-1-4629-1682-5 (ebook)
1. Religious life—Buddhism. 2. Religious life—Zen Buddhism. 1.Title.
BQ5395 .B69 200 1
294.3’444—dc21 00-D55562
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THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO MY MOTHER, CLARICE DAVIS ZION, WHO, WHILE APPRECIATING AND ENCOURAGING ALMOST EVERYTHING, EXPECTED NOTHING. I WISH I’D REALIZED THIS WHILE SHE WAS STILL ALIVE.
CONTENT
PART I TEACHERS
One ▪ Just Living
Two ▪ One of My Greatest Teachers
Three ▪ Growing Up
Four ▪ Animals
Five ▪ Cats and Birds
Six ▪ Play’s the Thing
PART II PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIPS
Seven ▪ Lovers
Eight ▪ Parenting
Nine ▪ Friends
Ten ▪ Neighbors
Eleven ▪ Private Enterprise
Twelve ▪ Government Work
Thirteen ▪ Teaching
Fourteen ▪ Fairness and justice
PART III CULTURAL EXPECTATIONS
Fifteen ▪ Stereotypes
Sixteen ▪ The Facade of Bodies
Seventeen ▪ Consumerism
Eighteen ▪ Retiring into Life
Nineteen ▪ Dignified Dying
PART IV BEYOND NOTHING
Twenty ▪ Miracles
Twenty-One ▪ Changing
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I gratefully acknowledge the many people who have contributed in so many ways to my life and the writing of this book.
I extend special thanks and my great respect to my teachers, Thich Nhat Hanh and Sogyal Rinpoche, who are unaware of their great influence on me. I am deeply grateful for encouragement and support from Lynn Warner and Phyllis Wilner. I extend my very special thanks to Patsy Givins, whose editorial advice has been extremely valuable to me. I offer heartfelt appreciation to Jan Johnson and Robyn Heisey of Tuttle Publishing for their excellent guidance.
INTRODUCTION
How do we act in the world? How do we call forth the world without harming ourselves, other people and the world itself? How do we carry as little baggage as possible into each moment, and accumulate as little baggage as possible in each moment? How do we enter into each moment of the present with a clear conscience and a clear consciousness, gently holding and realizing the world and our life?
Richard Baker*
I’m just a beginning Buddhist, but in trying to grasp the meaning of not grasping, I have found an intermediate step of not expecting. Seek and ye shall find ... ask and it shall be given—more and more expectations everywhere you look. I have spent much of my life being distracted by what could be.
I have been the great expecter!
Putting expectations on myself is one thing, but putting expectations on others is a travesty. I burden someone else with my needs for their behavior. I create unneeded and usually unwanted goals for others and then expect them to understand my disappointment and sometimes my anger when they don’t live up to my goals. It is really my expectations that fail, not the other people, but, of course, I blame them.
I have been a rabid perfectionist most of my life. I practiced perfection. I expected everything I did to be perfect, and I expected everything everyone else did to be perfect—by my standards of perfection, of course, not theirs.
Slowly, I am learning that people are different—especially that they are different from me. They have different time concepts, different food preferences, different religions, different cultural behaviors, different politics, and talents, and philosophies.