A Sister's Power. Cydney Rax
“I think you thought you made the best decision at the time.”
“Yeah. But—”
“But if you had to do it all over again . . . ?”
“I’d choose better words and I’d look at things from her perspective. I’d try to understand that she acted that way because basically, you’re like a stranger. My hooking up with you feels too much, too soon.”
When she realized how deeply she could have hurt her child, she placed her hands over her face and burst into tears. Edmund stroked her hair and let her get it all out.
“Baby, if you think we should slow things down a bit, I can pull back. But truthfully, I don’t want to.”
“I want to do the right thing. Yet at the same time, if I am honest, I don’t want you to pull back either. No, don’t do that. Don’t even think about doing it.”
“But I don’t want to make things any worse for you. I care about you too much to let that happen . . .”
It touched her deeply to see that Edmund didn’t see her as just a bed buddy that he could easily discard.
“Edmund, sweetie, if you don’t mind, I’d like for us to find a way to make all of this work. I will tread carefully when it comes to Natalia. Make her feel loved and secure. And make you feel just as loved and desired. But family comes first. Alright, baby?”
“I’m here for you, Burgundy. In whatever way you need me, for as long as you need me.”
The next evening, Alita found her way back at Burgundy’s house. The two sisters had gathered in the kitchen sipping from cups of hot coffee and chatting. That’s when Burgundy, still on her sexy buzz, let it slip that she spent the night with Edmund.
“Really, B? You fucking Edmund Murray now? I’ve heard of him. He owns those catfish restaurants around town. What are you now? A food chain groupie?”
“Lita, my friends are none of your business.”
“Your Daddy Warbucks ain’t been in the ground a minute and you already slobbing on his knob like some corn on the cob?”
“Alita!”
“It’s true, though right? You’ve been letting him get it only two weeks after your hubby croaked?”
“Not that it’s any of your business but it’s been longer than two weeks.”
“Okay then, excuse me for getting it wrong. You shed your wifely tears then started dating after six long weeks.”
“Having a friend, meeting up with a friend, or even kicking it with a friend at his house is not dating.”
“I doubt that since you spent the night, that all you did was kick it at his house. Sounds like you’ve been kissing it if you know what I mean.”
“Lita, I have no intention of justifying my behavior to you.”
“Don’t get defensive. I’m trying to look out for you. The streets aren’t kind. They’ll add extra info to the rumors to what might be the truth and damage your cred even more, you know what I mean?”
Burgundy knew she couldn’t pull one over on Alita and pretend as if things were different than what they really were. “Okay, Lita, I’ll level with you. In the beginning, right after I lost Nate, my friend was very sympathetic.”
“I’ll bet he was.”
“Alita, seriously. When Nate died I was in shock. I felt paranoid and insecure. And I just wanted Edmund to be physically near me. His presence comforted me. He started out holding my hand which I did not mind. Then he would put his arms around me and that felt even better. Eventually, I could literally cry on his shoulder. I could tell him how I felt no matter how silly it sounded. He listened. I believe he cared. And after long, I started to ask Edmund if he wouldn’t mind holding me while I laid in bed. He didn’t mind.”
“I’ll bet he didn’t.”
“And slowly but surely, one thing lead to another. It just sort of happened. But it was all innocent.”
“Innocent, my ass. But I get it. A pretty young woman like you has needs. But all this closeness and comfort that you’re enjoying with Edmund, don’t you think you’re being disrespectful to the memory of your dead husband, asshole that he was?”
“In what way?”
“You got yourself boo’d up pretty fast, B. And it’s not because I give a damn about Nate with his sex doll having ass, but I’m just saying.”
“Trust me, Alita, I have grieved Nate in my own way. Grieving doesn’t always have to be done publicly to satisfy all those folks who pull out a rating card in order to judge how I’m grieving and whether or not I look remorseful enough about his death.” Burgundy felt with all the other things she had going on that stressed her out, people would be more kind and understanding and not give her the business over her newfound friendship with Edmund.
“In my opinion, B, you ought to try having a couple of public meltdowns here and there. Act more sad and lost. I mean, shit, he just died, girl.”
“I-I know that. You think I don’t know that?” Her voice quivered as she sought to adequately express her feelings. Burgundy was growing weary of the conversation and lack of understanding for her feelings. “Tell me. Am I supposed to sit around being lonely and bored out my mind with a coochie that’s drying out just because I’m scared of what other people think?”
“Oooh, then you just admitted it. You two are fucking.”
“No, we are not.”
“Do you let him kiss you, B? Because that’s where it all starts. If he kisses you right, he can get it.”
Alita stared at her sister for all the telltale clues that a woman is in a sexual relationship with a man. The woman seems happy for no apparent reason and there is a spirited strut in her walk.
“Do me a favor. Stand up, B, and walk across the room. I’m asking for a friend.”
“No, you are not, silly woman. You are being too damned nosy and reading too much into things,” Burgundy gently told her. “Forget about Edmund, Lita. This really isn’t about him. It’s about me trying to go on with my life. Because whether I grieve for two months, or two years, Nate is gone,” she said in a wistful tone. “I miss him for our girls’ sake. But I can’t stay hurt and miserable forever.”
“Forever, B? Hell, it’s only been thirty seconds.”
“No, it has not, Alita, now stop playing around. Because believe it or not, it’s hard to totally shake off the bad feelings. Yet I have a right to be happy, to grab myself a little happiness. And the people who look at me and twist their lips and who don’t like what I’m doing and think it’s a disgrace, unless they’re walking in my shoes, there’s no way that they, or even you, can understand how I feel. I don’t have to defend myself to you, or Judge Judy, or my entire church.”
“Ok, B. I was just—”
“You were just giving me your unwanted opinion that rarely ever helps me.”
“Well, damn I was just—”
“Think about this for a second. You finally moved on from Leonard and you’re living your life. Dru moved on as well. Even nutty ass Coco is trying to go on after all she’s been through. So don’t think for one second that Burgundy Reeves won’t be trying to get a fresh start in life either.”
“Burgundy Taylor. Your name is Burgundy Taylor you little slut.”
“Lita, you need to stay out of my bed. And maybe even out of my life. But I know at least one of the two will be impossible.”
“You got that right. You need me. I need you. We’re stuck together like superglue. Tootle-loo.”