The Quiet Rise of Introverts. Brenda Knowles
enduring, non-specific worry or dread, which is called generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), or it can appear in episodic flare-ups such as with a panic disorder or phobia. According to Dr. Lamberts, these kinds of anxiety call for professional help, but other methods of attenuating anxiety’s symptoms are:
• Not feeling ashamed. We do not choose to experience anxiety. It’s the result of genetic sensitivity and environmental influences
• Looking for root causes. Usually something in our past has not been resolved. Understanding why we feel the way we do is a step toward healing
• Talking to someone. If the anxiety is manageable, then talking with a trusted friend, family member, or religious leader might help. A professional is recommended if your anxiety affects day-to-day living
• Taking medication. Under the guidance of a professional, short- or long-term medication can be helpful. Short-term medications, like Valium, are addictive. If they are needed more than a few times a week, long-term daily options are suggested
SOCIAL ANXIETY
Sometimes anxiety centers on interactions with others, as is the case with social anxiety disorder. Social anxiety is the fear of social or performance situations in which embarrassment, judgment, criticism, or rejection are perceived to be dangers. Performance can mean something as simple as speaking up during a group project. Social anxiety and shyness go hand in hand.
Social anxiety is all too familiar to many introverts. Is there a difference between introversion and social anxiety disorder? Yes. Dr. Ellen Hendriksen, clinical psychologist at Boston University’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders, says there are four differences:
| 1. | Like introverts, the socially anxious crowd has a genetic predisposition toward its traits, but there are two other influences. The first is that we learn that we do not measure up to scrutiny. Perhaps we had a fretful parent who always worried about what the neighbors thought, or an older sibling who over-powered us at every turn. Somehow, we learned that we are always being judged and found lacking. |
| The second key ingredient to social anxiety is avoidance. We intentionally miss out on social interactions. We go to the store late at night to avoid running into anyone we know. We leave parties early or don’t attend at all to stave off the potential of saying something embarrassing. | |
| In contrast, introversion is primarily a part of our inherent personality. We are born with the genetic trait and the brain processes unique to introverts, such as extra blood flow to the parts of the brain responsible for remembering, solving problems, and planning. | |
| 2. | A fear of revealing a flaw or vulnerability. In social anxiety, we think there is something wrong with us. If we socialize too much, someone may discover the chink in our armor. In order to avoid judgment, we play it small and keep our presence unobtrusive. If we don’t stand out, we won’t get picked on. The truth is these flaws are only legitimate to us. Most people would not consider them an issue. Dr. Hendriksen gives appearance as an example of a perceived flaw. Perhaps we think we will turn beet red when all eyes are on us (and people will care), or we were always the “ugly” sister and fear being picked on for our looks. Fears of looking stupid or incompetent are also perceived defects that hold back those with social anxiety.Introversion alone may make us prefer to listen more than talk, but this is not out of a fear of revealing something about us that could permanently damage our self-worth. |
| Social anxiety may fluctuate depending on the audience. Close and trusted companions may free the socially anxious to be themselves and to contribute. Strangers may cause the anxious to withdraw in fear of making a mistake or not knowing what to say. Acquaintances and coworkers may require the socially anxious to develop a false persona. | |
| The creation of a social persona/self helps many people identify and participate within a group. Some call it their “game face” or their “work smile.” It helps them feel a sense of belonging; however, the social self, if too removed from the true self, feels extra heavy and draining. | |
| Perfectionism rears its ugly head in social anxiety. The only way to prevent harsh criticism is to be perfectly witty, charismatic, beautiful, and smart. The pressure to not make mistakes paralyzes us. For example, we may decline a friend’s invitation to try out a new yoga class because we are afraid we won’t be able to do the poses and others will make fun of us. | |
| The non-socially-anxious do not feel every interaction is a do-or-die performance. They don’t beat themselves up if they forget someone’s name or deliver a dull response to a question. They give themselves permission to make mistakes, and they believe others will forgive them too. | |
| 3. | Social anxiety gets in the way of living our life. When fear drives our behavior, we miss out on what others have to offer. We skip events, we avoid social interaction. And even when we are physically present, we are mentally absent because we are focused on what could go wrong. Remember the Oxford University study we talked about earlier? This kind of social avoidance is associated with lower happiness levels |
| Introversion is distinct from clinical social anxiety. Introverts may leave parties early or stay home in the first place, but they choose to do so. They could spend time talking and joking with friends at the party, but they prefer to have a nice, quiet dinner at home with their significant other. It is a preference not a fear that drives their decisions. |
SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER AND CHEMICAL DEPENDENCY
A study called the “Oregon Depression Project” followed the lives of 1709 adolescents until their thirtieth birthdays (although many participants dropped out before they hit thirty). The study showed a correlation between social anxiety and alcohol and marijuana dependency, but no correlation between social anxiety and alcohol and marijuana abuse.
Drug abuse is an intense desire to use increasing amounts of a particular substance to the exclusion of other activities. Drug dependence is the body’s physical need for a specific agent; dependency and addiction are the same thing.
After controlling for theoretically relevant variables such as the presence of other anxiety disorder diagnoses and previous substance use dependencies, the correlation between a lifetime history of social anxiety disorder (SAD) and a lifetime history of alcohol and marijuana dependency remained.
According to an article on Susan Cain’s website Quiet Revolution by Dr. Hendriksen titled, “Hope in a Bottle: The Link Between Alcohol and Social Anxiety”, the socially anxious turn to liquid courage to quell their social inhibitions. Alcohol serves a few purposes for the socially afraid. It loosens them up before the party and gives them the courage to even attend the shindig. Once at the event, alcohol serves as the magic elixir that makes them fun, entertaining and relaxed. Alcohol also helps the socially anxious drown their sorrows and mellow their memories after a perceived failed night of mixing and mingling. “I should not have said that!” “What was I thinking wearing the bright pink sweater? I stood out like a pink elephant.”
Especially troubling is that although people with SAD drink less overall than other, non-SAD people, their incidence of hazardous drinking with negative consequences was much higher. Their infrequent attendance of social functions keeps their alcohol consumption low overall, but when they do imbibe, they go all out. The heavy exposure, low tolerance, and inexperience put them in danger of risky behavior such as indiscriminate sex or failure to show up for work.
Many of the plaguing hallmarks of SAD—fear of not living up to scrutiny, fear of revealing a flaw, perfectionism—come out at parties. Alcohol and/or drugs ameliorate a person’s perceived social shortcomings. It isn’t long before a person with SAD believes he or she needs the mood-altering drug to fit in at all, hence the resulting dependency.
Interestingly,