The Courage to Be Yourself. Sue Patton Thoele

The Courage to Be Yourself - Sue Patton Thoele


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      First published in 2001 by

      Conari Press

      an imprint of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC

      with offices at

      500 Third Street, Suite 230

      San Francisco, CA 94107

       www.redwheelweiser.com

      Copyright © 2001 by Sue Patton Thoele

      All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations in critical articles or reviews.

      Cover Photography: ©Everett Johnson/Index Stock

      Book Design: Ralph Fowler

      Interior Illustrations: Sandie Turchyn

      Author Photo: Luke Landin

      Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

      Thoele, Sue Patton.

      The courage to be yourself : a woman's guide

       to emotional strength and self-esteem /

       Sue Patton Thoele.-- 10th anniversary ed.

      ISBN 1-57324-569-0

      1. Women--Psychology. 2. Dependency (Psychology)

      3. Self-help techniques. I. Title.

      HQ1206 .T465 2001

      158′.1′082—dc21

      00-011714

      Printed in the United States of America

      DR

      10 9 8 7 6 5

       www.redwheelweiser.com

       www.redwheelweiser.com/newsletter

      In memory of my wonderful mother,

      Virginia Faris Patton,

      who had a special talent for listening,

      and

      my dear friend,

      Kate Wagner Landin,

      who had a special talent for living and giving.

      Your courage, humor, and love in the face of

      death blessed and inspired me beyond my

      ability to describe. Thank you both from the

      depths of my heart and soul.

      TABLE OF CONTENTS

       INTRODUCTION TO THE TENTH ANNIVERSARY EDITION

       SHARING THE JOURNEY

       PART ONE

       FINDING THE COURAGE TO BE YOURSELF

       CHAPTER ONE

       AN EXPANDED VISION OF SELF

       Awakening the Divine Feminine

       Qualities of the Divine Feminine

       The Divine Feminine Is. . .

       Freeze-Dried Feminine

       Wake-Up Calls

       CHAPTER TWO

       COURAGE: YOU HAVE IT!

       Emotional Strength and Self-Esteem

       What Is Emotional Dependence?

       Nobody Said It Would Be Easy

       Courage: An Everyday Actuality

       The Co-dependent Cage

       Finding the Way to Ourselves

       Emotional Wisdom

       CHAPTER THREE

       FACETS OF EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCE

       What Are Limits and Boundaries?

       Giving Ourselves Away

       Saying “Yes” but Feeling “No”

       The Terror of Expectations

       The Have-It-All/Do-It-All Trap

       The Art of Avoidance

       CHAPTER FOUR

       ALLOWING OURSELVES TO BE INVADED

       Footprints on Our Faces

       The Projection Problem

       Roles to Conquer the Invader

       Mother

       Victim

       Martyr


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