The Courage to Give. Jackie Waldman

       FOREWORD by Joan Lunden

      DURING THE TWO DECADES THAT I HOSTED Good Morning America, I interviewed thousands of people. But I'll never forget the morning I sat across from a woman named Virginia. Later that same morning, the man who had brutally raped and killed her twelve-year-old daughter would be put to death. I asked Virginia how she was dealing with her grief and the impending execution. She began to recall the rage and anguish that had consumed her life in the years following her daughter's murder. Unable to cope with her sorrow and anger, she saw her marriage fall apart. Then one day as she wept to a friend she asked, “Why is this happening to me?” Her friend replied, “A HEART FILLED WITH ANGER HAS NO ROOM FOR LOVE!”

      That was the day Virginia began to heal. She suddenly realized that although the murderer had taken her daughter's life, Virginia's own anger and sorrow were taking her life. Her friend told her that she needed to stop focusing on her pain and begin to count her blessings. She couldn't change the events of the past, but by letting go of the emotions that had paralyzed and disempowered her, she would be free to begin living life again. No matter what our troubles are, if we can put them aside for a moment, focus on possible solutions, and imagine a joyous future, we can take the first step to finding peace within.

      Virginia said she felt lighter as she headed home—as though a tremendous weight had been lifted from her heart. Instead of mourning the things that were missing in her life, she began to give thanks for her blessings—her health, her friends, and her new understanding that our thoughts create our reality. This is a message that she felt compelled to pass on—and she began counseling others who were dealing with grief. And so, on this morning, Virginia was able to fondly remember her daughter's life, rather than dwell on her death. As for her daughter's killer, she said she was no longer holding on to any anger or hatred toward him; she felt only pity.

      Those words that restored peace and instilled purpose in Virginia's life—“A HEART FILLED WITH ANGER HAS NO ROOM FOR LOVE”—have touched my life as well. I had been recently divorced and was raising three young daughters. I knew how easy it was to feel overwhelmed and alone. But that morning, I too felt a weight lift from my heart, as I decided to let go of the frustration and hurt feelings of the past and embrace the possibilities of the future. I began to write books about the power within us to heal. I found the more I give of myself through my writings, and in helping others, the more peace and fulfillment I feel in my own life. Like Virginia, I also felt the need to pass on this life-altering message—that by directing our minds, we direct our lives and ultimately create our own happiness.

      When I left Good Morning America, I could have let my fears paralyze me again. But rather than worry about what the future would bring, and whether it would be good, I focused on what could come from this change. I now had the opportunity to take advantage of my time and to travel the country to speak about the power of our thoughts and our choices in life. This also gave me the opportunity to conquer a longtime fear of public speaking. OK, I know that millions of people saw me every morning, but I didn't see them. Speaking in person in front of even a few hundred people would unnerve me. In one of my very first speaking engagements, in Dallas, Texas, a woman named Jackie Waldman greeted me at the airport, and I was taken by her enthusiasm for life and for helping others. Later that evening, I learned that she was fighting multiple sclerosis and had gone home to rest in order to come to the evening's event. Before introducing me that night, Jackie noticed I was a bit nervous and came backstage. She told me how excited she was that I was delivering this important message about hope and the power within us to heal ourselves and to help others. Now I meet thousands of people as I travel around the country, but that night in Dallas, Jackie Waldman made me aware of the power of the message I was delivering. I was inspired by Jackie's optimism in the face of adversity, her positive approach to life and her incredible sense of purpose. She, like Virginia, exemplified the lesson that dwelling on your blessings—and reaching out to help others—helps us survive. It is easy to stay in a place of pain, wondering “Why me?” questioning life, or feeling sadness and sorrow. But if we make the effort to help someone else, we begin the healing process for ourselves.

      Each one of us has the ability to answer that call to action. If we identify a need in our community or hear someone crying out for help, we can and we must answer the call. The people Jackie profiles in this book, in spite of their physical or emotional pain, heard the call and sprung into action, making a difference in our world. Their courage inspires us to remember, even in the face of adversity, our responsibility to each other and ultimately to ourselves. It's one of the most wonderful compensations of life—that no person can sincerely try to help another without helping themselves.

       MY STORY by Jackie Waldman

      I SEEMED TO BE LEADING A CHARMED LIFE.

      At age fourteen, I had a date with a handsome guy named Steve. He took me to a Dallas Chaparrals basketball game and then to the lake where all the couples went. He took a blanket and a guitar out of the trunk of his car. And as we sat at the edge of the still water under a moonlit sky, that fifteen-year-old boy sang the most beautiful songs in the world to me, revealing his gentle soul. I knew at that moment I had met my soulmate.

      Steve and I married six years later, in our senior year of college. Our parents supported us while we finished our studies, and our storybook romance continued. After college, we established ourselves in Dallas, where Steve joined his family's business. I worked as a special education teacher, but later resigned to stay at home with our three children, Melissa, Todd, and Michael. My life was filled with soccer games, gymnastics, school plays, friends, family gatherings, and the athletics that were always so important to me. I went to aerobics class every day, sometimes twice a day, and jogged three to five miles a day. In my tennis league, my nickname was “Billie Jean.”

      As the kids got older, I started my own business. I got the idea from a girl I met on the beach while I was in Hawaii with Steve on a business trip. She was making hair bows and taught me how to make a simple bow, too. For the rest of the vacation, she and I spent every morning on the beach in Maui making bows while our husbands were in meetings.

      I bought ribbon and wire and made bows during the long flight home. When an airline attendant asked if she could buy a couple of bows for

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