Heart & Soul. Daphne Rose Kingma

       Happiness is the joy of the heart; joy is the happiness of the soul

APPRECIATE THE MOMENT

       This moment, this day, this relationship, and this life are all exquisite, unique, and unrepeatable. There will be no moment exactly like this one (the yellow light spilling in through the thin white louvers on the window, the sound of the men at work in the street and, in the living room, of the pages of the newspaper turning). There will be no day that repeats precisely the sweet events of this day (the waking and sleeping, the beautiful dreams before waking, the precious and even the ordinary conversations, the clothes you have chosen to wear, and the way that today you are wearing them; the way the wind is today, clattering the shutters, scattering the leaves, the thoughts–all sixty thousand of them–that have passed like bright kites through your mind).

      There will be no love, no dearly beloved, exactly like this one (the man who pronounces your name in just such a way, with his beautiful voice; the man who brings flowers, whose words move your heart so tremblingly softly, whose arms hold you this way and that way, embracing, consoling, protecting; the woman whose fragrance enchants you, whose head on your chest when you sleep is the sweet weight of bliss, whose kisses are blessings, whose laughter is sunlight, whose smile is pure grace).

      There will be no lifetime exactly like this one, no other, not ever again, not this birth, not this particular story, this mother and father, these houses and walls, these strangers and friends–and how we moved through it all, with such beauty, touching each other, dancingly stepping, curtsying, bowing across all the stages, filling the rooms of our lives with this joy, this sweet love….

      There will be no other way to live this life, only the way you have chosen to live it, only the way that, moment by moment, you fill up its houses and cradles and baskets, its cupboards and drawers–with which beautiful things, what small scraps and treasures–and only the way that you fill up your heart–with what feelings, which lovely emotions—and the memory of her standing there, in the light, by the window, her blonde hair in sunlight…and the image of him standing there and saying, “always, forever, till death do us part”–and your mind–with what words, which endlessly coddled concerns, what difficult puzzles and brilliant solutions, what emptiness…waiting for God.

      This moment, this day, this relationship, this life are all unique, exquisite, unrepeatable. live every moment as if you, indelibly, knew this.

ASPIRE TO A SPIRITUAL RELATIONSHIP

       To have a spiritual relationship is to consciously acknowledge that above all we are spiritual beings and that the process of our spiritual refinement is our true undertaking in this life. When you have a spiritual relationship, you choose to embody this truth in love. You shift context and focus. Whereas an emotional relationship has as its focus the contents of the relationship itself, a spiritual relationship sees the spirit's well-being and the soul's journey as its overriding undertaking. Whereas the romantic relationship operates in time, the spiritual union has timeless infinity as its context. Rather than framing itself in life, on earth, it knows that we are all far more than we appear to be and it joyfully claims as its territory a cosmos that radiates and scintillates, that includes an infinity of angels, and all the stunning coincidental events that are the mysterious instruments of God.

      When you love one another in spirit, along with loving, desiring, cherishing, adoring, and protecting your beloved, you will also be the champion of your beloved's spiritual well-being, ensuring that she will make the choices that will allow for her soul's evolution. This may mean creating a quiet environment in which your spirits can flourish, or doing those things–meditating, praying, throwing away the television set—that will encourage a reunion of your souls.

      To have an intimate relationship that is also spiritual defies our Western ordinary thinking, for in a spiritual relationship we are not seeking the satisfactions of the ego in a conventional way. Instead, we are aware that we are spirits and that we are on the spirit's journey.

      The spiritual relationship is gracious, easy, considerate, and kind. Because it has stepped off the merry-go-round of ego concerns, it can be generous and patient, can behold the beloved not just as a person doing this or that, but as a soul on a journey. For, to the spiritually beloved there is always a sense of this greater focus. Because of it, each action and experience takes on a different coloration. The disappointments of the moment and even the tragedies of a lifetime are seen not as happenings which are absolutes in themselves but finite, irritating specks on the larger screen of vision.

      A great spiritual love does not exclude the psychological and physical–in any spiritual relationship the partners will always support each other in these realms with healing and attention–but when you love one another in the spirit, your love will also be a reminder of the infinite context, the true destination. Remembering this will give your love an exalted, crystalline, and truly luminous quality. For if your emotional relationship is a jewel, then your spiritual relationship is the light that shines through it.

REJOICE TOGETHER

       When we think of being with one another emotionally, we ordinarily think of empathizing with one another in times of pain or misery. While it's certainly true that in our sufferings we have a great need for empathy, we also need positive empathy–rejoicing–a delighted feeling with, for all our joys.

      Rejoicing is feeling joy, allowing the feelings of exhilaration and delight to enter your being and fill you with a fine, ecstatic sense of celebration. We all need to rejoice, to slather ourselves with exultation, because life is hard, and at times our paths are very difficult. We need to rejoice because joy is our true state of being, and when we rejoice we return to it for a moment. We need to rejoice because there isn't enough rejoicing in the world. And we need to rejoice together because in this world of self-involvement and nonstop competition, it's often hard to find a kindred soul with whom to rejoice.