Visits to Heaven. Josie Varga
but didn’t.
On the flip side, I was also taught by my Great Teacher that the ego is self-serving. The ego wants to be top dog at any cost. The ego wants to elevate itself to a superior position over someone else, and the ego will find all sorts of ways to trick self and others into believing this. The ego will always try to pull one away from God because its interest is serving self first and foremost even though the individual may think he/she is not acting from an egoic nature. The ego wants to shine. It wants to puff itself up by claiming to know more than others when it comes to spiritual truths. The ego wants praise and attention from others. The ego is a sly thing!
This was also such a light bulb moment for me during my experience. Apparently my Great Teacher felt this ego stuff was very important for me to comprehend and tell others about since our culture is so wrapped up in it and we aren’t aware that the ego should have no part in developing our true spiritual nature. Our “true self” is selflessness which is the divine aspect of ourselves shining into the world as LIGHT. I was taught that our lives here on earth are meant to learn how to express love unconditionally without ego attachment. So when we have our life reviews, we will also see those moments when we allowed our egos to be top dog and not the LIGHT as it should be when we are expressing our authentic spirit self into the world. Again, I repeat, this knowledge is what I experienced as MY truth as revealed to me by the Light of God. I do not intend it to be everyone’s truth unless it rings true deep within. I am simply passing on what my Great Teacher revealed to me to share with others.
Atwater recognized this ego-inflation among “some of today’s new crop of near-death experiencers who are far too willing to come across as blanket authorities on the subject, and they are equally much too anxious to present ‘one-size-fits-all’ answers to life’s greatest questions.” She adds, “It’s a tricky day when we allow others to determine what is right for us. That can only be determined by you through a process of prayer, meditation, deep thought, testing, (questioning), and letting go or surrendering to what many call ‘The God Within.’ ”1 I couldn’t agree more with Atwater as this is exactly what was revealed to me during my experience with the Light of God!
Another interesting facet of my experience was the appearance of twelve guides who were present with me and who collectively chose to assist me with my “mission” upon returning back to the earth dimension. All were seated around a long wooden table, and all were dressed in what appeared to be monks’ robes. All but three individuals had their hoods pulled over their faces so I could not see who they were. However, the three to my right had their faces exposed to me. I had never seen these three individuals before my experience. However, a fascinating thing happened once I returned from my experience. A few years later, synchronicity would draw these individuals to me. Upon seeing them, I “recognized” them from my experience but never told them about their promise to help me fulfill my calling for the Light. Why? Simply because I knew that their souls knew what they promised to do, and when the time was right, they would help me in whatever way they were called to. If I told them about their part in my life‘s mission, their egos might feel obligated to help me in some way. No, I knew their egoless souls knew what to do, when to do it, and how to do it without any interference from me. That is precisely what happened over the years since my experience. It was truly amazing to witness this “plan” unfolding in my life and to be grateful for all the help they did, indeed, give me without realizing they were part of my experience to begin with.
I never told these three individuals until very recently that they were present during my experience. I felt they should be thanked appropriately for all the help I was given through the ensuing years. I don’t know if the other remaining guides have appeared in my life to help me with my calling. Certainly, I have felt strong connections with some people and thought, perhaps, that they may have been part of this plan for my life, but since their faces were not revealed to me during my experience, I have no evidence at this time that they were with me during my experience—strong suspicion, but no proof. I hold all twelve of these guides in my heart and soul for all eternity. What greater gift of love can there be than to come to this earthly realm to help someone in this way? To choose to leave paradise for this earthly realm to help others is the utmost sacrifice. God bless all those who have chosen to do this!
The experience was winding down at this point, and as the Light and I were still merged into Oneness, we began to travel back to the earth. I was allowed to witness all the chaos in the world, but I understood that everything was working according to some greater plan that humans could not comprehend. I understood that even the most horrendous acts had meaning and purpose. Don’t ask me to explain this—I can’t, because I left the spiritual realm and I’m now back in the physical realm with all the humanness that living here on this earth plane encompasses. I, too, have questions . . . big questions about suffering and why things happen to good people. But I must say, while I was merged into Oneness with the Light of God, I truly did understand that everything makes perfect sense on a spiritual level. That recall helps me not to dwell so much on the answers that would make sense of this suffering, for I know that when I return to that heavenly realm, I will once again understand EVERYTHING! Until then, I will be patient and trust in a Higher Power who loves us through our suffering, who cries with us, and who gives us the strength to move through it.
Gradually the separation between the Light of God and me began to occur as I felt my spirit self beginning to return to my physical form delivering the eulogy. Before that separation was completed however, the Light of God spoke one last word to me, “Book.” Immediately placed deep in the innermost part of my heart was the knowledge that part of my “mission” here on earth would be to write a book and communicate all that my Great Teacher shared with me during those fifteen minutes I journeyed to the heavenly realm. Passion beyond passion was infused in my heart to fulfill this promise I made at that time to God to write that book.
Then the greatest sorrow of my life transpired as I watched the Light distance itself further and further from me, allowing my spirit to reenter my physical body to finish up the last sentence of the eulogy. I cannot describe the intense sorrow I experienced knowing that the Light was leaving, but at the same time I understood that this parting was only temporary and that one day I would once again reunite with the love of my life, the Light of God, in that heavenly realm I had just journeyed from. And this time I want it to be PERMANENT!
What happened following that miraculous experience? Well, just as my life preview showed me, I lost all my friends because they thought I was crazy. My family didn’t believe me either. Some people mocked me as I told them about my experience; a Baptist minister told me never to speak of this experience again because Satan was working through me. Did that stop me from sharing this story? No way! I have to answer to Someone greater than my ego self. The Light of God is all that matters to me. Fulfilling my calling is my gift back to God, no matter what I have to go through. Other parts of my life preview came true as well, and for those parts, I am extremely grateful for.
But I must say, the Light NEVER LEFT ME! I am constantly aware of the Light’s divine presence with me day and night. Wherever I am, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the source of my life is the Light within me. Much of my daily life is centered upon gratitude. I find so many things to be grateful for, and I take the time to acknowledge this to the Light of God. Daily prayer and meditation connect me intimately to the source of my life, the One I love above all.
There have been so many positive changes in my life that it would take too long to list them all. Suffice it to say, the most important one is that since 1979 I have continued to fulfill my “mission” for the Light of God. I have an extensive public speaking background; I founded the Columbus, Ohio International Association for Near-Death Studies, Inc. (IANDS) in 1984 and continue to serve as the coordinator, helping others who have had transcendent experiences to gain support and fellowship in a nonjudgmental group setting, and I continue to help educate the general public about these experiences.
The most important promise I made to the Light, however, was writing the book I was told to write. The result is the national award-winning book Hear His Voice: The True Story of a Modern Day Mystical Encounter With God. In it, I share my heart in greater detail than I can in this book you are now reading. I thought