The Kremlin School of Negotiation. Igor Ryzov
his subordinate an assignment: ‘Go and tell the client that if they don’t pay us today, we won’t do business with them any more.’ His subordinate nods in response. The negotiations go as follows:
‘I’m asking you, please pay us. We need the money by tomorrow.’
‘No, that’s not going to happen.’
‘Well, my manager said that if we don’t have the money . . . You know, it’ll be hard for me to get him to authorise future deliveries.’
‘So what, you don’t need clients? We get lots of offers like yours. And you keep on making all these demands.’
‘I’m asking, not demanding. I would really like to keep our relationship, but—’
‘Then go tell that to your crazy boss.’
Not only did the negotiator not defend his own interests, he also conceded his benefit, lost face in front of his opponent and threw his manager under the bus. So who is to blame here, and what can be done? Both are to blame: both the manager who didn’t see his subordinate’s lack of confidence, and the employee who couldn’t justify his position and so started delicate negotiations in the position of a ‘mouse’. As for what can be done: proper negotiation preparation, which in this case is finding solid ground to stand on.
Under no circumstances should you enter negotiations if you don’t truly believe in your cause. When a negotiator doesn’t believe in the strength of their own position, they are doomed to failure.
If this sort of behaviour feels like your default, then now’s the time to be honest with yourself. It’s important to acknowledge that this model simply leads to you making excuses for your own failings and not seeing your own areas for growth.
This isn’t the only shortcoming of the ‘mouse’ behaviour model. The second is compliance. A negotiator like the one in the example will almost always be forced away from their initial plans and make concessions. Of course, an almost new, well-kept car is always going to be easier to sell than a rusty piece of scrap metal. But, as you’ll see later, even the latter has USPs to be found.
Once I witnessed negotiations being held in the office of the chief engineer (CE) of a construction holding. A contractor had sent a representative (CR) in for negotiations.
CE: So, what do you want?
CR: Well, I’m sorry, but we have . . .
CE: What’s all this mumbling? Are you as bad at building as you are at talking?
CR: Oh, no . . . We would like to review these deadlines. I would very much like to find a mutually beneficial outcome here.
CE: What are you trying to tell me? Nothing changes. But now I’m starting to think maybe it isn’t worth continuing this project with you.
CR: Wait! Well, if you can’t agree to these terms, we’ll do all we can to meet the old ones.
CE: Yes, you do that. Oh, and I’d like you to do something else for me, too.
CR: Yes, of course, we value your business.
The following anecdote nicely encapsulates where trying to please everyone can often get you.
A father, his son and a donkey are travelling along a dusty city road in the sweltering midday heat. The father is riding the donkey, and the son is leading it by the bridle.
‘Poor boy,’ says a passer-by, ‘his little legs can barely keep up! How can you just laze around on that donkey when your son is clearly exhausted?’
The father takes this man’s words to heart. As soon as they turn the corner, he gets off the donkey and makes his son ride it.
Very soon, another person passes them and loudly announces: ‘Has he no shame? The little one riding the donkey like a sultan, while his poor old father’s left trailing behind!’
These words pain the boy, so he asks his father to sit on the donkey behind him.
‘Good people, have you ever seen such a thing?’ a woman in a hijab starts to cry. ‘Tormenting an animal so! The poor donkey’s back is practically breaking from the weight, while these idlers simply lounge around. Poor, unhappy creature!’
Without a word, father and son get down from the donkey, shamefaced.
They have hardly made it a couple of steps when an acquaintance of theirs comes up to them and starts ridiculing them:
Why are you just walking that donkey around town? It’s not carrying anything, and neither of you is riding it!’
The father shoves a big handful of straw into the donkey’s mouth and puts his arm around his son’s shoulder.
‘No matter what we do,’ he says, ‘there’ll always be someone who disagrees. From now on I think it’s best we decide how to travel for ourselves.’
We can see that it’s impossible to please everyone all the time. So not only is it important to know how to keep your eyes on your goal, it’s also important to know how to assert yourself. Courteousness alone just isn’t going to cut it. Confidence in the position you hold is key. Take heed of the old rule of thumb of any good lawyer:
If you’re right, act, and if you’re wrong, you simply haven’t put enough time into crafting your argument.
If you can’t find a reason to believe in your position, then you need to admit what you’ve got wrong. That will be your strength.
Now, for a bit of light relief, here’s an advert I took the trouble of re-writing in full (maintaining the style and spelling of the original):
For sale:
Volga GAZ-3110, 2005.
Mileage 75,000–79,999km, 2.4l, petrol, sedan, colour: black
I’m selling my Volga! To be honest, it’s a dubious buy, but then the price is purely symbolic. For just 30,000 roubles, this cruiser could be yours! A 2005 model, its condition is, shall we say, contradictory. It’s got 72,000km on the clock, but by that you should read 172,000. Or, to be completely honest, 272,000. For the life of me, I’ll never understand how it could have covered such a distance . . .
But the important thing is that the machine’s still on the move! Getting around town’s no problem (except that, without AC, in summer the car feels like it’s on fire). It tears off from traffic lights faster than many foreign cars (especially when they don’t realise they’re drag racing). Tip-top on the roads too. The only limit to the speed you can get her to is your own self-preservation instinct. Personally, on those rare occasions when I’ve got her up to 180km/h, I’ve found myself staring wide-eyed, not moving, hardly even breathing.
There’s a broken part by the left-hand door. This really helps you to find the car in big parking lots, and it gives the beast a distinctiveness you won’t find anywhere else. The body features a couple of parts that you could consider to be in good condition.
The saloon’s internal trimmings are made of some incomprehensible linoleum-based whim. You’ll just have to live with that. On the back of the driving seat there’s this really sharp thing that kills when it randomly digs into the base of your spine. I’ve never figured out what it is, why it’s there or how it could even have come