BAASIT: I’ve like rushed home to go to the toilet, but never to watch a programme about toilets.
|
|
|
|
|
STEPH: I thought the world was going to explode when we ran out of gin.
|
|
|
|
|
BILL: You know Alfred Hitchcock didn’t have a belly button, don’t you?
|
|
|
|
|
LEON: I want a Smartphone.
|
|
|
JUNE: Leon, you’re not smart enough to have a Smartphone.
|
|
|
SANDRA: The last time I saw a tub of Vaseline I wasn’t very happy when I saw it.
|
|
|
|
|
STEPHEN: I love Dave. We named our dildo after him.
|
|
|
|
|
BAASIT: The further north you go, the more bear-like women look. I’m sure there’s been studies done in that.
|
|
|
|
|
LEON: Didn’t I go out with a girl who was in for Miss Shell Oil Refinery?
|
|
|
|
|
UMAR: One of Hull’s problems is that it’s called Hull.
|
|
|
|
|
VIV: I wanted to be on Jim’ll Fix It. I’m very glad Jim didn’t fix it for me, I’m telling you. Ugh.
|
|
|
|
|
STEPHEN: She’s gone out looking for a meteorite, but she’s fucking minge-deep in snow.
|
|
|
|
|
LINDA: What’s the best birthday you’ve ever had?
|
|
|
|
|
PETE: You had laryngitis once.
|
|
|
|
|
SANDRA: I love Antique Roadshow. Posh car boot sale.
|
|
|
|
|
LOUIS: Baldrick, time has not been good to you, my friend.
|
|
|
|
|
UMAR: What do you call a Pakistani guy standing in between two houses?
|
|
|
SID: I don’t know.
|
|
|
UMAR: Ali.
|
|
|
|
|
DOM: I’ll end up negative equity, you’ll take the house back, I’ll probably end up in prison playing hide the sausage with Mad Axeman Mallard.
|
|
|
|
|
STEPHEN: I ain’t going to fucking Harvester for Christmas dinner.
|
|
|
|
