96 Rocks. Ron Ph.D Hummer
was important. Instead, you’re out here.”
Joan clicked her teeth together, taking a deep breath.
“Think of it this way. We’re the cowboys in the fort and we want to make sure the Indians aren’t attacking us. You should be here at 8:30 checking your e-mail, then go outside to get your coffee and whatever else you’re having if there wasn’t anything that was important.”
“Fine. I’ll go in now.”
She walked past Herman, holding the door open for him, then walked quickly up the stairs to her desk. “When you get to your desk, please let Tim know I’m here and I need to see him. I know that he’s at his desk at 8:00.”
“Yes, sir.”
Can’t believe she’s lasted this long, Herman mused.
He walked up the stairs, seeing his office as he reached the top. Joan was at her desk, turning the computer on. She picked up her phone, punched in 4 numbers, then said “Tim,” Mr. Pearson needs to see you.” She shook her head. “He’s on his way up.”
“Let me know if there is anything important.”
“I will.”
Herman shut the door, smiled as he sat down in his leather swivel chair. He heard a knock at his door and said “come in.”
The door opened and Tim walked in, shutting the door behind him. “Hey Herman.”
Herman gazed at Tim, his 5-9 thin frame, his sandy hair long, parted low to the left, brushed across his skull and over his ears. His pug nose was small and his mustache was large and bushy.
“Have you lost your mind,” he said, shaking his head.
Tim took a deep breath, dropped onto a brown couch. “It’s not what you think.”
“Really. You didn’t kiss Diana Crawford and put your hand on her ass.”
“No, I just told her that when she goes to California, she should look hot and get some pictures of herself and she’ll be on drive time.”
“Tim, when are you going to stop lying to me?”
“I’m not lying.”
“Tim, I don’t care that you kissed Diane. I don’t even care that you grabbed her ass. Don’t you see that you’re falling into her trap?”
“Trap.”
“Yes. Trap.” He threw his hands in the air. “Don’t you think she would love the idea of crying sexual harassment and get some money from us before she goes to California. I mean, she doesn’t have another job.”
“I guess I wasn’t thinking about that.”
“Look, I’m a guy. I worked for someone who put out memos telling women to wear short skirts to the office because it’s inappropriate to wear pants and long dresses. Now you see casual attire all the time. When I was working in sales at a TV station, gorgeous women like Diane and Mary wore short skirts every day.”
“I know,” Tim replied, shaking his head.
“Those were the days,” Herman said, drumming his fingers on his desk. “Roberta had legs that never ended. And those breasts. Some of the guys deliberately bumped into her” - he paused, his smile grew large - “just to feel them. And that perfume.”
“She sounds really hot.”
“Oh yeah. What a woman. Now, you know that I love looking at beautiful women just like you do. You know that.”
“I know.”
“All right. So don’t lie to me anymore. Okay?”
“All right.”
“It’s a good thing no one saw you.” He clasped his hands together. “We’ve talked about this before. You have to resist this. She’s a beautiful woman. So was Mary.”
“I wish you didn’t fire her.”
“I had to. She was starting in about sexual harassment against you. We don’t need that kind of trouble here.”
“I know.”
“She didn’t make her quota that month. I was able to make her an example for the others so it worked out.”
“She was so hot.”
“I know. All the guys were looking at her.”
‘Except Austin. He just looked at her shoes.”
They both laughed at that.
Herman opened his desk drawer, grabbed his Penthouse magazine. “Bruce will be here in a few minutes. We’ll figure out what to do.”
“Okay.”
“Here.” He threw the magazine to Tim. He caught it, looked at the front cover.
“Is this the new issue?”
“Yes. Check out the centerfold.”
Tim opened to the center of the magazine, unfolded the picture. “Wow. I wouldn’t throw her out of bed.”
“And those legs. They’re so long, she could wrap them around the both of us.”
“They both laughed again, Tim slapping his knee.
There was a knock at the door and Tim slid the magazine under the couch.
“Come in,” Herman said.
Joan walked in with a cup of coffee, placed it on Herman’s desk.
“Is the list of the sales reports for all the stations ready yet?“
“I’m checking it over.”
“What time did you leave here yesterday?” his voice growing louder.
“5:30.”
“Did you check the list then?” Herman asked.
“Yes.”
“Then bring it in and stop wasting time checking it all the time,” he replied angrily.
“Fine,” I’ll print it out.”
“Just e-mail it to me.” He balled his fists together. “No sense in wasting any paper. I tell you this all the time. Don’t print so much.”
Joan bit her lip, ran her hand through her brown hair.
“I’ll e-mail it to you in a moment.”
“Fine.”
She turned and left the room, shutting the door behind her.
“How long has she been here?” Tim asked.
“About 9 months.”
“That’s longer than any other secretary you had.”
“Well, she got a chance to do voiceovers for commercials and I told her that if she wanted to do that, then she would have to sign a non-compete. So she did.”
“Why lock her into a contract like that especially when you could hire someone that is hotter and younger than her.”
“Don’t think I didn’t try,” Herman responded. “I had 3 ads out on different job sites and all I got was a bunch of dogs. So I hired Joan.”
“Guess you really needed someone. Cindy was really hot,” Tim said.
“Yes, and she left within 3 months.”
“Maybe if you weren’t so tough on her.”
“I need someone that can do the work. If they can’t, then that’s their problem.” Herman turned, gazed at his computer screen and looked at his e-mail. “Another resume for a sales job I had about a month ago,” he muttered. He clicked on it and read if over. “Now here’s