Raising a Smile for Northern Ireland Children's Hospice. Brian Boone's Bailie
with you.”
“O, N-Q.”
SuperBowen and the Snowman by Bowen
Once upon a time it was a nice winter day. The birds where tweeting, and the snow was snowing, and the children were playing.
Well, there were nine children making a snowman, and they found a hat, and it was a magic hat, but the children didn't know it was a magic hat until the snowman came to life. And it was a bad snowman.
The bad snowman started to make lots of other bad snowmen attack all the people. There were 300 bad snowmen all trying to attack the people. So the army came out to stop the snowmen, but there were way too many snowmen.
Then SuperBowen came flying by, and he saw the big fight, and he shouted, “Quickly everyone, go and boil your kettles.”
So all the people boiled their kettles and started pouring boiling water to melt the snowmen. “Aaaaaaaaaaaa.” yelled all the bad snowmen.
The snowmen all got melted down the drain.
At bedtime everybody was very sleepy from melting all the bad snowmen, and everyone slept right through until summertime.
Summertime is too warm for snowmen, but it wasn’t too warm for a wicked robot.
A big, big, big, big, big robot, who was a friend of the bad snowmen, came to eat SuperBowen.
But SuperBowen jumped into his monster truck and drove to the beach where the tide was coming in. SuperBowen whizzed along the beach in his monster truck and made lots of big splashes that got the big robot all wet, and all his arms and legs began to be rusty, and then he stopped working because his batteries got wet.
Everybody was very happy, and they invited SuperBowen to a big party in Bangor. But SuperBowen said he couldn’t come to the party because he had to fly to London to stop the prime minister from making more mistakes, because the prime minister had been very silly and spent all his money on a monkey. So everyone just went to bed and waited until Santa came at Christmas, and then they had a party.
Bowen and the Postman by Brian
Our Postie is a lovely man,
He didn’t mean to park his van
On Bowen’s knee,
“AAAaaaahhhhoooooowweeeeee…”
Proverbial fingers burnt.
Important lessons learnt.
Next time Postie delivers a letter
He’s gonna need something bigger and better.
Preferably with an ejection seat,
‘Cus Bowen says, “Revenge is Sweet.”
To avoid the risk of future knocks,
Our lane now has a postal box.
Bowen’s version of events
One day I was walking along waiting on the postman to come. He came, but not as usual he tried to kill me.
And suddenly the next day his van ended up like a giant metal monster.
I was behind the post van… I got a gun and shot a nut out of his machine. The machine blew up, the postman jumped out of his van and fell into the gorse bush and got all prickled.
And I lived happily ever after.
Jumping Down by Brian
Two and a half miles way up high
Just a tiny dot in the big blue sky.
It’s not so insane to leap from the plane
To make my way back down again.
Hurtling earthwards through the air
Parachute opens like an answered prayer.
What could surpass a thrill so first class?
Then landing safely on my ass.
(and thanks to everyone who helped Blair and Briar raise loads of money for charity)
I Love by Bowen
I love Mummy.
(I’d love some money.)
I help my mummy with the mopping
Then she lets me go out shopping.
I love Blair,
And his crazy hair.
Blair likes to show me how to draw,
But I still draw like I draw with a claw.
Brian is my dad.
He is a bit mad.
I like to snorkel in the sea.
That’s what Dad loves to do with me.
My sister is Briar.
She sings in a choir.
She likes to feed me chocs and jelly
When we sit and watch the telly.
I love my family.
It’s what makes me me.
Monkey Advice by Brian
Monkeys are cheeky,
Monkeys are rude.
Monkeys make noises
When eating their food.
Monkeys are naughty,
Monkeys are nice,
Monkeys don’t listen
To helpful advice.
I once had a monkey,
We went to the zoo,
But another bad monkey
Taught my one kung fu.
All the monkeys escaped
The whole zoo was upset,
Even the elephant
Felt under threat.
If you have a monkey
The zoo’s not the place;
Give him to NASA
To send into space.
Save the Venomous Albanian Lesser-Spotted Short-Snouted Spiny Snuffeluntegroo by Blair
I wouldn't be surprised if you
Were naïve of the Snuffeluntegroo.
They're so absolutely very rare
Most people don't believe they're there.
Their