In The East. Maria Pia Oelker
teacher and learn the useful things he wants to teach you. I will wait to be instructed by you in the game of chess as soon as you have some time to dedicate to me and in the evening, I will come to see you. Do you agree?”
" As you want.”
" Shall we go then, your highness? " urged the master with a certain impatience,barely disguised by his flattering voice tone.
" I'm ready. Good-bye, mother.”
" See you later. And remember that later, immediately after lunch, you will have to help Antonia to tidy up your things in the new room.”
" Can I ask which room? " asked the teacher.
"The little room in the king's apartment," answered the queen.
The teacher raised his eyebrows, disapproving, but did not dare to criticize openly.
For the moment at least.
He intended to take up the subject again later and hoped to be able to make her understand his belief: he did not think it was a good thing for the child to believe the king had shown him interest and affection; it wouldn't last, everyone knew that the sovereign was fickle and inclined to anger. Before that he had never even bothered to look at his son and all that sweetness and submissiveness shown in the past few days would most likely not continue. He was sure of it and would convince the queen. And then the prince was now grown up and had to be kept in check; he had to lead a severe, orderly life, without giving too much weight to his whims and to his natural, bizarre inclinations. All that freedom to come and go from and to the castle and the park, those stories about wild animals to look after and dreams and stars and ... all the rest. The king had enjoyed his son as if it were an unusual pastime, but it had not been an educational experience, and something had to be done to remedy the situation. He believed he was the right person to do just that and, after all, the king himself had explicitly recognized this fact.
He would have induced the prince to limit games and forays and to commit himself with more order and stability to study matters more useful to his rank.
And indeed, the prince, from then onward, had not much time to look out the bars of the gate at the road that led to the city and to observe the night sky from the windows. His day was filled to the minute by the hours that the master had set up for him and the queen had only partially succeeded in mitigating to give her and her son the possibility of enjoying each other's company for a few hours.
Early in the morning the child was still able to find his way into the park, but he had to return almost immediately for the first lessons, and he could no longer jump over the hedges and discover the secrets of the garden.
The tutor always waited for him with his severe demeanor on the study door and reproached him pedantically whenever he was even a few minutes late.
“ If your Highness does not respect what we agreed on, I will have to insist with the queen to take away your permission to visit the park in the morning ” he repeated obsessively.
The boy knew that his mother would defend him, but he feared that in the end the master would appeal to the king and, on that front, he was no longer so sure.
He had trusted his father and believed him when he had made promises, but apparently the master had been right in saying that the king had just wanted to amuse himself and his mother stating he should not believe the king would return soon.
And, although in fact they were not exactly the same, the prince always combined the two concepts, arriving at the desolate conclusion that he was not at all important to his father and that he would therefore not see him again for a long time. Meanwhile, he had to obey the preceptor, because his mother wanted him to, and bow his head to his every-day more despotic and senseless pretensions, at least in his opinion.
When the king, after a couple of months, finally wrote to reassure the queen, who had complained about the excessive severity of the master, and to point out that he would have supervised personally and checked, on his return, that his excessive involvement was not an issue, the Prince felt extremely disappointed that the sovereign made no mention of a set return date and even more because he rarely heard from him, except for the usual generic recommendations that every parent has for one’s children.
Did the king no longer think of him? Had he abandoned him?
He thought about this for whole nights and during distracting gloomy days, which gave him insomnia and made him incredibly careless in his tasks, which caused him to be punished. But he no longer seemed to notice the humiliations inflicted on him or the severe threats of the tutor. His mother herself could not get anything out of him.
Sometimes in the morning he stood in the deer grove, motionless, for a very long time, even after his friends had left, staring at the fallen fence as if trying to understand what message was hidden for him. But he could not make sense of the thoughts that crowded his mind, garbled, and confused, and ended up getting lost behind timeless shadows without logic.
One day he even forgot to come back for classes. They looked for him everywhere, but nobody could see him, crouched as he was behind a bush of laurel, deaf and blind.
His mother became alarmed and left the park in person to track him down. When, finally, he emerged from his hiding place, as if from a dream, unaware of the time and of the commotion caused, the master was beside himself with anger and the queen herself, already quite worried, was beginning to question if the king and the preceptor were right to ask her to be firmer with the prince. Was it possible that he did not understand that his whims did not make it easier for her to help him?
The result was that she agreed to an exemplary punishment and forbade the prince, to the master's immense satisfaction, to go out in the park from then on, until he would show greater commitment and sense of responsibility.
The prince wept and begged his mother in vain: he got absolutely nothing in return. And that was really the first time.
In the evening, opening himself up to Antonia, the child tried to explain his reasons to the nurse, but obviously even he could not fully understand what had prompted him act that way. The nurse rocked him in her arms, calming his sorrowful sobs and promised to talk to the queen.
But when she whispered: "But, my darling, you should also be more obedient with your mother and the teacher," he shouted: "Everyone here is betraying me!"
And those had been his real feelings for months, feelings he had never dared to confess even to himself.
”Who betrayed you? “ asked the governess.
” My father first, today my mother and now ... now you too.”
"No, Your Highness, not me," she said firmly.
“ Yes, you too. I am obedient, I do what I can to please everyone and nobody, no one believes me.”
“ I believe you.”
“ It's not true.”
“ I believe you “ repeated Antonia “ I know you're right, but why did you behave like that with your mother today?”
“ I didn't hear you, I told you. I swear. I didn't notice anything. Maybe I was asleep. I haven't been sleeping for many nights now.”
"Why, Your Highness? This is not good."
“ I was hoping the king would come back soon; he had promised me, and I believed him, but they were just lies. Everyone tells me lies and nobody loves me.”
“ Your mother loves you.”
“ No. Why doesn’t she send away that master who hates me?”
“ What are you saying? These are big accusations.”
“ But it's true. You don't see the look in his eyes when he looks at me and how happy he is if he can humiliate me in front of everyone, including my mother. And if I rebel, he tells my mother that I am irreverent and rude to him. And she believes him!”
His words ended in a scream broken by pain and burning indignation. Antonia was unable to answer