Stepping Forward Together: Creating Trust and Commitment in the Workplace. Mac Ph.D. McIntire
they open up to them. So that could be what it will take. But what else might determine whether you would be open with me?”
“If I was comfortable around you. Or if you were open with me . . .” He thought for a few more seconds and then added, “. . . or if I respected you. I don’t know. I’d really have to think about it for awhile.”
“All of those are good answers. Certainly the things you mention might impact your openness toward me,” I nodded. “But I think the determining factor of one’s openness is much simpler than that. Every reason you gave, and any others you could give for whether you might open up to someone, can be summarized in one word. I’ll tell you what that word is in a minute after I’ve demonstrated it to you in a role play.”
I paused as I pondered how to proceed. In my training seminars it’s easy to demonstrate what I was about to explain. But that role play gets very loud and animated. Since Paul and I were seated on an airplane, I was afraid my normal demonstration would cause quite a stir among our fellow passengers. I told Paul he would have to imagine the intensity of some of the things I was about to demonstrate.
Before I started my role play I suggested the majority of employees inside a company typically are hesitant to open up at work. Workers seldom share their most significant thoughts or ideas with their boss. Most employees sit in silence during meetings rather than openly divulge any questions or concerns they may have about an issue. Even when there are serious matters needing to be addressed, employees often keep quiet.
“You can always tell when people are afraid to open up because they seek out the extroverts to carry their torch,” I chided, giving Paul a little nudge, since he had declared that he is an extrovert. “Inside every company you’ll see people going around prior to a meeting trying to enlist the one person they feel will have the courage to be a spokesman. They draft the extroverted individual by saying: ‘Somebody ought to bring this up in the meeting’, ‘Somebody should say something about that’, ‘Why don’t you bring that up in the meeting?’, or ‘I think you should raise that issue next time we meet.’”
Paul smiled and said he’d seen this hallway ballet many times before.
“Why are they asking someone else to bring it up in the meeting?” I asked. “Why don’t they bring it up themselves?”
“Because they don’t want to stick their own necks out,” Paul replied.
“That’s right,” I said. “They want to see what happens to the sacrificial extrovert who brings up the issue before they chime in.”
Paul roared with laughter. I could tell he was quickly reassessing the value of his extroversion. Obviously he had been the sacrificial spokesman before.
I raised my index finger and said, “Now, let me demonstrate the one factor that determines whether a person will open up. Again, I’m going to model this a lot quieter than normal, but I’m sure you’ll get my point.”
I first set up the role play by reminding him I earlier had mentioned a client company of mine that had had six presidents in less than four years. The company had gone through a major downsizing, eliminating 25 percent of its workforce. To further cut costs the company also reduced the salaries of all of its mid-level mangers by 15 percent. The company’s board kept changing the president every few months in a fruitless effort to find a leader who could restore the company to profitability. Each new president came to the company determined to make a difference. Each had his own vision about where he wanted to take the company. Each tried to get the employees of the company committed to his vision and focused on the future. And each had failed.
“How do you think the employees responded to each new president’s vision when he or she came in? Do you think they got excited about the new vision?”
Paul shook his head and said “no.”
“What about the executive staff? Do you think they got behind the new president’s vision?”
“I doubt it.”
“That’s right. The employees actually started an office pool on how long the new president was going to last.”
I then started role playing by telling Paul to imagine I had been hired as the seventh new president of the company. I told him I’ve called a meeting of my key managers so I can share my vision for turning the company around. I begin the hypothetical meeting by telling my managers we need to step forward together as a team if we want to be successful in the future. I state my desire for people to be OPEN and honest. I believe the only way we can make the company successful is if everyone opens up and talks freely about the business. I ask them to openly share their ideas of what we need to do to improve the company. I tell them every problem or issue is fair game to address in the meeting. We can talk openly. I again encourage the managers to be open and honest, and then turn the time over to the participants in my make-believe meeting to ask any questions they wish.
“What do you think it would sound like in that meeting when I open it up for questions?” I asked. “Do you think the managers would open up to me?”
“Probably not,” Paul replied. “I’m sure they’d sit there in total silence.”
I agreed that first-time meetings with a new boss usually are very quiet. Most introductory encounters are one-way communication meetings where the manager talks and the staff members listen quietly, not knowing if it is safe to express their opinions or share their ideas.
“Fortunately, there’s always someone in the group – that one brave soul, the lone extrovert – who is willing to test the situation,” I said, nodding toward Paul to signal his role in the demonstration. (In reality his role was to just sit there, since I was acting out both his part and mine in the role play. I just wanted him to imagine he was the target of my response to his openness.)
“Paul, you get to play the role of the typical lone extrovert who opens up during a meeting.”
“That sounds like me. I’m always the sucker,” Paul sighed.
I told him that, as the seventh president in the role play, when I open the meeting for comments from the group he will be reluctant, at first, to ask his question. But I will encourage him by restating my expectation that people need to be open and honest. I reiterate that all comments will be acceptable, so, with renewed courage, he finally blurts out his question.
‘OK,” he says. ‘I have a question. Since we’ve been going through downsizing and major cost cutting, even to the point of cutting 25 percent of our staff and reducing managers’ salaries by 15 percent; I’m curious, (he pauses) how much money are they paying you as the new president of this company? Did you take a cut in your salary like we did in ours?’”
Paul laughed at the absurdity of the question. He said he’d heard some whopper questions like that from employees in his career.
I continued the role play by getting a stern look on my face and in as loud a voice as I dared use on the airplane, I said firmly: “Look, we are not here to talk about executive compensation in a forum such as this! We are here to talk about what YOU need to do to serve our customers better, what WE need to do to turn this company around. WE'RE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT COMPENSATION OR PERSONNEL ISSUES. THIS IS NOT THE PLACE OR TIME FOR THAT! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!!!!?”
Paul smiled and feigned cowering in fear. I quickly returned to the role play and, pretending to regain my composure, turned to the rest of the managers in the make-believe meeting room, and calmly said: “Now, are there any other questions I can answer for anyone?”
Paul grinned from ear to ear. He knew after an outburst like that no one else in the meeting would say a word.
I gestured toward my drawing of the Ladder of Commitment and asked: “If someone actually did respond to you like that in a meeting, where would you go on the Ladder, Paul?”
“I’d go to CLOSED,” he stated strongly.
“That’s right. But would you just go slightly closed like this?” I said, indicating