Inanimate Heroes. Zack W. Van
Kevin! So I heard that you and Emily aren’t together anymore. That’s such a shame.” She pouted her lips and everything to complete the effect.
“Yeah well it’s for the best. She was so controlling.” The bell abruptly rang and cut off the conversation. Faye got up and said she had class somewhere way out of the way of where I was going. I asked desperately if any of the girls were going to 256. They all shook their heads and wished me the best of luck for finding where I was going. Once again I walked to class by myself.
I finally arrived 2 minutes late to room 256. Mrs. Stout was apparently my new biology teacher. It seemed to me that she had everything going for her. She was pretty, obviously intelligent, and she was very proud to be from the hustle and bustle of New York City. I sat down and realized that there were some kids that I knew from previous classes and even from my old grade school.
Today we were playing some kind of get-to-know-you game where you had to remember the students name and then an alliteration for their name. The concept of the game didn’t quite make sense to me. Remembering that Tara took tomatoes to Troy’s tree-house didn’t really seem to assimilate me into the group. But what was important was that Mrs. Stout was at least a person with a fun side.
Suddenly it was my turn. Andy ate all apples around Alaska. Snickers ensued as they did with everyone else’s and I felt more at ease. Soon the game was over and we all had to choose seating arrangements. I always hated when I was in a class with kids I didn’t know and they made us choose a seat or a partner. At least if the teacher made us sit together and the kid didn’t like me, I could pretend like I couldn’t stand him either and that I was “stuck” with him. Everyone began to sit down and I sat down with the jackpot. She was quite possibly the sweetest and most effervescent girl you could ever meet. She reminded me of Meg Ryan because she would scrunch her face every time she laughed or smiled, as if a bright light was being shinned into her eyes.
“Hey there! How are you today?” With the way she said it, I almost expected her to shake my hand and tell me to vote for her in the next election. I smiled; half from relief that she was so nice and half from the fact that her kindness was infectious.
“I’m doing pretty good; and you?”
“Well I am sorta annoyed that my schedule got changed. But I guess I can just take foods next year.” Ah the ever elusive foods and family management class. So many kids had tried to sign up for that class assuming it was an easy A, just like gym or shop. I actually liked cooking and hoped to be in it next year.
“Aside from all that though I’m just fine.” She was like a girl out of Better Homes and Gardens. My head was instantly flooded of her having a photo shoot; holding a glazed ham in one hand and a flower pot full of roses in the other. Suddenly the bell rang and she said something funny about getting lost and skipping the rest of the day’s classes. Mrs. Stout told us to have a nice day and to bring our newly acquired and heavy books tomorrow. That could only mean one thing; a text book scavenger hunt. Maybe Betty homemaker had a good idea after all.
Luckily for me, my next class was directly parallel with Mrs. Stout’s room. I sat down and threw my book-bag under my desk of choice. This was a class that I assumed I would like. I was always into politics and loved keeping up with everything that was going on in the world. Even though Civics class was required for freshman to pass on to sophomore year, it was ironically called an elective. The girl next to me was enthralled with whatever book she was reading but then looked up at me and smiled.
“Hi, I’m Lauren.” I introduced myself and then I noticed Pink Floyd lyrics on her binder.
“Wow you like Pink Floyd? I thought I was the only kid my age who even knew what Pink Floyd was.” She smiled and her eyes flickered as if she was just awoken from hypnosis.
“No way! You too?” We began reciting all of the songs that were our favorites to listen to. She also marveled at how I loved Pink Floyd but was not a pot head, just like her. Our conversation was short lived as the teacher walked in and turned at the head of the class to address his new students. Mr. Carver was an interesting man to say the very least. He was too young to be old, but too old to be considered young. He was quite tall, had thinning grayish hair, and deep bags under his eyes. However, he had no wrinkles or signs of age in his skin. He reminded me of Anderson Cooper if he didn’t look as well put together and cool.
He addressed the class and shot out a few jokes which, to my surprise, got a few laughs. He would often make reference to the fact that he was a bachelor and lived at home by himself. He made jokes about how he ate TV dinners and burned his shirts when he ironed them. I honestly found it quite altogether sad. I always picture someone like that watching Jeopardy and knowing every bit of the trivial knowledge that made him feel important to society; even with having no family or even friends. He seemed to be a decently nice guy from what I could tell. So why couldn’t he find a girlfriend? My mind suddenly turned to suspicions of possible homosexuality. Maybe even when you’re as old as he is, you can never come out. My train of thought was broken by Mr. Carver asking me how many senators are in each state.
“There are two senators in every state and that makes up 100 in the senate all together.” I suddenly felt embarrassed sounding like such a know-it-all.
“Very good. What was your name?” Great. He is choosing to exacerbate the situation by asking me more questions I know the answer to.
“Andy.”
“Well Andy, I have a feeling you’ll be raising your hand a lot in this class.” God I really wish this guy knew when to shut-up. “That’s all the time we have for today class. Bell’s gonna ring in about 5 minutes so you can chat amongst yourselves.” Lauren turned to me as if she was waiting to speak since he first started talking.
“So you’re big into politics huh?” Aw come on Lauren. Not you too.
“Well I like to keep up with things. I don’t really think we can complain about the government if we don’t keep ourselves informed.” Lauren nodded politely but I didn’t really think she was too interested. I decided to shift the conversation back to a common ground.
“So what other music do you like?” She once again reanimated herself at the pronunciation of music.
“Well I love all of the good oldies. The Doors, The Beatles-“
“Do you like David Bowie?” Her mouth dropped as if I just shouted obscenities into the room.
“I LOOOOOVE David Bowie! I have all of his vinyls from my parents.” This was pretty awesome. I met a cool, down to earth person that likes good music in a class subject I really enjoy. I think this will be my favorite class period yet. Unfortunately the bell rang and it was time for me and my new-found friend to part ways. Now I was on to a class that I pretty much hated my entire life in grade school- Spanish. I walk into the class and I am already overwhelmed by the teacher’s enthusiasm.
“HOLA! Siéntate por favor!” About 5 people that I knew from grade school were in class with me. I quickly took a seat next to Miranda, a girl I used to sit with at lunch in 8th grade. To my left was my childhood friend Sandy and we knew each other since kindergarten. We all began to laugh and joke about what we had gotten ourselves into. In Tomliw, you had a choice between Spanish, German, and American Sign Language. The only reason I picked Spanish was due to the fact that I was practically force-fed it since 1st grade and figured it wouldn’t be too much of what I don’t already know.
The teacher walked in the room from the doorway singing some sort of Spanish song. “Ah Ey Ee oh oo. El burro sabe mas que tu.” I guess the Hispanic like to make fun of their kids while teaching them their vowel sounds. We all reluctantly admitted we liked the song and it stayed in our head for weeks. I was talking constantly to either Sandy or Miranda and knew that this was not a good sign.
“Silencio por favor! Levante la mana!” Even though the second part caught me off guard by not knowing what it meant, the first part sounded like she was pretty pissed so I kept my mouth shut. Mrs. Riggs seemed like a nice person overall, but I just couldn’t wait to get out of this class. The constant talking at a 300