The Essential Guy de Maupassant Collection. Guy de Maupassant
To avoid my suspicions he found himself obliged, doubtless, to dissimulate from time to time, although rarely, and to feign a certain affection for his legitimate wife, the woman who had the right to his affection. I told him that he might abstain in future from such a mockery of love.
JACQUES DE RANDOL
How did you tell him that?
MME. DE SALLUS
I don't remember.
JACQUES DE RANDOL
It must have been amusing.
MME. DE SALLUS
No, he appeared very much surprised at first. Then I formulated a nice little speech and learned it by heart, in which I asked him to carry such intermittent fancies elsewhere. He understood me, saluted me very courteously, and--did as I asked him.
JACQUES DE RANDOL
Did he never come back?
MME. DE SALLUS
Never, until--
JACQUES DE RANDOL [_interrupts_]
Has he never again tried to tell you of his love?
MME. DE SALLUS
No, never, until--
JACQUES DE RANDOL [_interrupts_]
Have you regretted it?
MME. DE SALLUS
That is of small importance. What is of importance, though, is that he has had innumerable mistresses whom he entertains, whom he supports, whom he takes out. It is this that has irritated and humiliated me--in fact, cut me to the quick. But then I took heart of grace, and too late, two years too late, I took a lover--you!
JACQUES DE RANDOL [_kisses her hand_]
And I, Madeline, I love you with my whole soul.
MME. DE SALLUS
Well, all this is not at all proper.
JACQUES DE RANDOL
What do you mean by "all this"?
MME. DE SALLUS
Life in general--my husband--his mistresses--myself--and you.
JACQUES DE RANDOL
Your words--prove beyond a doubt that you do not love me.
MME. DE SALLUS
Why?
JACQUES DE RANDOL
You dare to say of love that it is not proper? If you loved me, it might be divine, but a loving woman would abhor a phrase which should contain such an idea. What! True love not proper?
MME. DE SALLUS
Possibly. It all depends upon the point of view. For myself, I see too much.
JACQUES DE RANDOL
What do you see?
MME. DE SALLUS
I see too well, too far, too clearly.
JACQUES DE RANDOL
You do not love me?
MME. DE SALLUS
If I did not love you--a little--I should have had no excuse for giving myself to you.
JACQUES DE RANDOL
A little--just sufficient to warrant that excuse!
MME. DE SALLUS
But I do not excuse myself: I accuse myself.
JACQUES DE RANDOL
Then you did love me a little--and then--now--you love me no more!
MME. DE SALLUS
Do not let us argue.
JACQUES DE RANDOL
You do nothing else.
MME. DE SALLUS
No, I only judge the present by the past; the only just ideas and sane notions of life one can form are those concerning that which is past.
JACQUES DE RANDOL
And do you regret--
MME. DE SALLUS
Perhaps!
JACQUES DE RANDOL
And what about to-morrow?
MME. DE SALLUS
I do not know.
JACQUES DE RANDOL
Is it nothing to you to have one who is yours, body and soul? MME. DE SALLUS [_shrugs her shoulders_]
Yes, mine to-day.
JACQUES DE RANDOL [_vehemently_]
And to-morrow!
MME. DE SALLUS [_shrugs her shoulders again_]
Yes, the to-morrow that follows to-night, but not the to-morrow of a year hence.
JACQUES DE RANDOL [_emphatically_]
You shall see. But how about your husband?
MME. DE SALLUS
Does he annoy you?
JACQUES DE RANDOL By heaven--
MME. DE SALLUS
Hush! [_Archly._] My husband has fallen in love with me again.
JACQUES DE RANDOL
Is it possible?
MME. DE SALLUS [_indignantly_]
What do you mean by such an insolent question, and why should it not be possible?
JACQUES DE RANDOL
A man falls in love with his wife before he marries her, but after marriage he never commits the same mistake.
MME. DE SALLUS
But perhaps he has never really been in love with me until now.
JACQUES DE RANDOL
It is absolutely impossible that he could have lived with you--even in his curt, cavalier fashion--without loving you.
MME. DE SALLUS [_indifferently_]
It is of little importance. He has either loved me in the past, or is now beginning to love me.
JACQUES DE RANDOL
Truly, I do not understand you. Tell me all about it.
MME. DE SALLUS
But I have nothing to tell. He declares his love for me, takes me in his arms, and threatens me with his conjugal rights. This upsets me, torments me, and annoys me.
JACQUES DE RANDOL
Madeline you torture me.
MME. DE SALLUS [_quickly_]
And what about me? Do you think that I do not suffer? I know that I am not exactly a faithful woman since I received your addresses, but I have, and shall retain, a single heart. It is either you _or_ he. It will never be you _and_ he. For me that would be infamy--the greatest infamy of a guilty woman, the sharing of her heart--a thing that debases her. One may fall, perhaps, because there are ditches along the wayside and it is not always easy to follow the right path. But if one falls, that is no reason to throw oneself in the abyss.
JACQUES DE RANDOL [_takes her in his arms and kisses her_]
I