The Essential George Meredith Collection. George Meredith
stamping her feet.
"I suppose I look a figure. I must go and tidy myself."
"No, don't change. I like to see you so." He gazed at her with a mixture of wonder and admiration. "I can't think you the same person--not even when you laugh."
"Richard," her tone was serious, "you were going to speak to me of my parents."
"How wild and awful you looked, Bella!"
"My father, Richard, was a very respectable man."
"Bella, you'll haunt me like a ghost."
"My mother died in my infancy, Richard."
"Don't put up your hair, Bella."
"I was an only child!"
Her head shook sorrowfully at the glistening fire-irons. He followed the abstracted intentness of her look, and came upon her words.
"Ah, yes! speak of your father, Bella. Speak of him."
"Shall I haunt you, and come to your bedside, and cry, '`Tis time'?"
"Dear Bella! if you will tell me where he lives, I will go to him. He shall receive you. He shall not refuse--he shall forgive you."
"If I haunt you, you can't forget me, Richard."
"Let me go to your father, Bella let me go to him to-morrow. I'll give you my time. It's all I can give. O Bella! let me save you."
"So you like me best dishevelled, do you, you naughty boy! Ha! ha!" and away she burst from him, and up flew her hair, as she danced across the room, and fell at full length on the sofa.
He felt giddy: bewitched.
"We'll talk of everyday things, Dick," she called to him from the sofa. "It's our last evening. Our last? Heigho! It makes me sentimental. How's that Mr. Ripson, Pipson, Nipson?--it's not complimentary, but I can't remember names of that sort. Why do you have friends of that sort? He's not a gentleman. Better is he? Well, he's rather too insignificant for me. Why do you sit off there? Come to me instantly. There--I'll sit up, and be proper, and you'll have plenty of room. Talk, Dick!"
He was reflecting on the fact that her eyes were brown. They had a haughty sparkle when she pleased, and when she pleased a soft languor circled them. Excitement had dyed her cheeks deep red. He was a youth, and she an enchantress. He a hero; she a female will-o'-the-wisp.
The eyes were languid now, set in rosy colour.
"You will not leave me yet, Richard? not yet?"
He had no thought of departing:
"It's our last night--I suppose it's our last hour together in this world--and I don't want to meet you in the next, for poor Dick will have to come to such a very, very disagreeable place to make the visit."
He grasped her hand at this.
"Yes, he will! too true! can't be helped: they say I'm handsome."
"You're lovely, Bella."
She drank in his homage.
"Well, we'll admit it. His Highness below likes lovely women, I hear say. A gentleman of taste! You don't know all my accomplishments yet, Richard."
"I shan't be astonished at anything new, Bella."
"Then hear, and wonder." Her voice trolled out some lively roulades. "Don't you think he'll make me his prima donna below? It's nonsense to tell me there's no singing there. And the atmosphere will be favourable to the voice. No damp, you know. You saw the piano--why didn't you ask me to sing before? I can sing Italian. I had a master--who made love to me. I forgave him because of the music-stool--men can't help it on a music-stool, poor dears!"
She went to the piano, struck the notes, and sang--
"'My heart, my heart--I think 'twill break.'
"Because I'm such a rake. I don't know any other reason. No; I hate sentimental songs. Won't sing that. Ta-tiddy-tiddy-iddy--a...e! How ridiculous those women were, coming home from Richmond!
'Once the sweet romance of story Clad thy moving form with grace; Once the world and all its glory Was but framework to thy face. Ah, too fair!--what I remember Might my soul recall--but no! To the winds this wretched ember Of a fire that falls so low!'
"Hum! don't much like that. Tum-te-tum-tum--accanto al fuoco--heigho! I don't want to show off, Dick--or to break down--so I won't try that.
'Oh! but for thee, oh! but for thee, I might have been a happy wife, And nursed a baby on my knee, And never blushed to give it life.'
"I used to sing that when I was a girl, sweet Richard, and didn't know at all, at all, what it meant. Mustn't sing that sort of song in company. We're oh! so proper--even we!
'If I had a husband, what think you I'd do? I'd make it my business to keep him a lover; For when a young gentleman ceases to woo, Some other amusement he'll quickly discover.'
"For such are young gentlemen made of--made of: such are young gentlemen made of!"
After this trifling she sang a Spanish ballad sweetly. He was in the mood when imagination intensely vivifies everything. Mere suggestions of music sufficed. The lady in the ballad had been wronged. Lo! it was the lady before him; and soft horns blew; he smelt the languid night-flowers; he saw the stars crowd large and close above the arid plain this lady leaning at her window desolate, pouring out her abandoned heart.
Heroes know little what they owe to champagne.
The lady wandered to Venice. Thither he followed her at a leap. In Venice she was not happy. He was prepared for the misery of any woman anywhere. But, oh! to be with her! To glide with phantom-motion through throbbing street; past houses muffled in shadow and gloomy legends; under storied bridges; past palaces charged with full life in dead quietness; past grand old towers, colossal squares, gleaming quays, and out, and on with her, on into the silver infinity shaking over seas!
Was it the champagne? the music? or the poetry? Something of the two former, perhaps: but most the enchantress playing upon him. How many instruments cannot clever women play upon at the same moment! And this enchantress was not too clever, or he might have felt her touch. She was no longer absolutely bent on winning him, or he might have seen a manoeuvre. She liked him--liked none better. She wished him well. Her pique was satisfied. Still he was handsome, and he was going. What she liked him for, she rather--very slightly--wished to do away with, or see if it could be done away with: just as one wishes to catch a pretty butterfly, without hurting its patterned wings. No harm intended to the innocent insect, only one wants to inspect it thoroughly, and enjoy the marvel of it, in one's tender possession, and have the felicity of thinking one could crush it, if one would.
He knew her what she was, this lady. In Seville, or in Venice, the spot was on her. Sailing the pathways of the moon it was not celestial light that illumined her beauty. Her sin was there: but in dreaming to save, he was soft to her sin--drowned it in deep mournfulness.
Silence, and the rustle of her dress, awoke him from his musing. She swam wave-like to the sofa. She was at his feet.
"I have been light and careless to-night, Richard. Of course I meant it. I must be happy with my best friend going to leave me."
Those witch underlids were working brightly.
"You will not forget me? and I shall try...try..."
Her lips twitched. She thought him such a very handsome fellow.
"If I change--if I can change... Oh! if you could know what a net I'm in, Richard!"
Now at those words, as he looked down on her haggard loveliness, not