The Red House Mystery and Other Novels. A. A. Milne
in the mirror. She goes to the front-door, moves her hand to somebody in the distance, and comes into the hall again. Seeing MR. BAXTER'S bowler hat on the sofa, she carries across to his door, knocks, hands it to him, saying, "Your hat. S'sh!" and returns to her chair. TREMAYNE comes in.)
TREMAYNE (at the door). It's no good your pretending to be surprised, because you said I could come.
BELINDA (welcoming him). But I can still be surprised that you wanted to come.
TREMAYNE Oh no, you aren't.
BELINDA (marking it off on her fingers). Just a little bit--that much.
TREMAYNE. It would be much more surprising if I hadn't come.
BELINDA (sitting down on the sofa). It is a pretty garden, isn't it?
TREMAYNE (sitting down next to her). You forget that I saw the garden yesterday.
BELINDA. Oh, but the things have grown so much since then. Let me see, this is the third day you've been and we only met three days ago. And then you're coming to dinner again to-night.
TREMAYNE (eagerly). Am I?
BELINDA. Yes. Haven't you been asked?
TREMAYNE. No, not a word.
BELINDA. Yes, that's quite right; I remember now, I only thought of it this morning, so I couldn't ask you before, could I?
TREMAYNE (earnestly). What made you think of it then?
BELINDA (romantically). It was at the butcher's. There was one little lamb cutlet left over and sitting out all by itself, and there was nobody to love it. And I said to myself, suddenly, "I know, that will do for Mr. Robinson." (Prosaically.) I do hope you like lamb?
TREMAYNE. I adore it.
BELINDA. Oh, I'm so glad! When I saw it sitting there I thought you'd love it. I'm afraid I can't tell you any more about the rest of the dinner, because I wouldn't tell Mr. Devenish, and I want to be fair.
TREMAYNE. Who's Mr. Devenish?
BELINDA. Oh, haven't you met him? He's always coming here.
TREMAYNE Is he in love with you too?
BELINDA. Too? Oh, you mean Mr. Baxter.
TREMAYNE. Confound it, that's three!
BELINDA (innocently). Three? (She looks up at him and down again.)
TREMAYNE. Who is Mr. Baxter?
BELINDA. Oh, haven't you met him? He's always coming here.
TREMAYNE. Who is Mr. Baxter?
BELINDA. Oh, he's a sort of statistician. Isn't that a horrid word to say? So stishany.
TREMAYNE. What does he make statistics about?
BELINDA. Oh, umbrellas and things. Don't let's talk about him.
TREMAYNE. All right, then; who is Mr. Devenish?
BELINDA. Oh, he's a poet. (She throws up her eyes and sighs deeply.) Ah me!
TREMAYNE. What does he write poetry about? (BELINDA looks at him, and down again, and then at him again, and then down, and gives a little sigh--all of which means, "Can't you guess?") What does he write poetry about?
BELINDA (obediently). He wrote "The Lute of Love and other Poems, by Claude Devenish." The Lute of Love--(To herself.) I haven't been saying that lately. (With great expression.) The Lute of Love--the Lute. (She pats her mouth back.)
TREMAYNE. And what is Mr. Devenish--
BELINDA (putting her hand on his sleeve). You'll let me know when it's my turn, won't you?
TREMAYNE. Your turn?
BELINDA. Yes, to ask questions. I love this game--it's like clumps. (She crosses her hands on her lap and waits for the next question.)
TREMAYNE. I beg your pardon. I--er--of course have no right to cross-examine you like this.
BELINDA. Oh, do go on, I love it. (With childish excitement.) I've got my question ready.
TREMAYNE (smiling). I think perhaps it _is_ your turn.
BELINDA (eagerly). Is it really? (He nods.) Well then--_who_ is Mr. Robinson?
TREMAYNE (alarmed). What?
BELINDA. I think it's a fair question. I met you three days ago and you told me you were staying at Mariton. Mariton. You can say it all right now, can't you?
TREMAYNE. I think so.
BELINDA (coaxingly). Just say it.
TREMAYNE. Mariton.
BELINDA (clapping her hands). Lovely! I don't think any of the villagers do it as well as that.
TREMAYNE. Well?
BELINDA. Well, that was three days ago. You came the next day to see the garden, and you came the day after to see the garden, and you've come this morning--to see the garden; and you're coming to dinner to-night, and it's so lovely, we shall simply have to go into the garden afterwards. And all I know about you is that you _haven't_ any relations called Robinson.
TREMAYNE. What do I know about Mrs. Tremayne but that she _has_ a relation called Robinson?
BELINDA. And two dear friends called Devenish and Baxter.
TREMAYNE (annoyed). I was forgetting them.
BELINDA (to herself). I mustn't forget Mr. Baxter.
TREMAYNE (getting up). But what does it matter? What would it matter if I knew nothing about you? I know everything about you-- everything that matters.
BELINDA (closing her eyes contentedly). Tell me some of them.
TREMAYNE (bending over her earnestly). Belinda--
BELINDA (still with her eyes shut). He's going to propose to me. I can feel it coming.
TREMAYNE. Confound it! how many men _have_ proposed to you?
BELINDA (surprised). Since when?
TREMAYNE. Since your first husband proposed to you.
BELINDA. Oh, I thought you meant this year. (Sitting up.) Well now, let me see. (Slowly and thoughtfully.) One. (She pushes up her first finger.) Two. (She pushes up the second.) Three. (She pushes up the third finger, holds it there for a moment and then pushes it gently down again.) No, I don't think that one ought to count really. (She pushes up two more fingers and the thumb.) Three, four, five--do you want the names or just the total?
TREMAYNE. This is horrible.
BELINDA (innocently). But anybody can propose. Now if you'd asked how many I'd accepted--Let me see, where was I up to? I shan't count yours, because I haven't really had it yet. Six, seven--Yes, Betty, what is it?
[BETTY has just come in from the door on the left.]
BETTY. If you please, ma'am, cook would like to speak to you for a minute.
BELINDA