Freshman Year, 91-92. Megan B. March
someone, especially someone I just met. It’s confusing.” I knew he was right because I felt the same way.
“Can I ask you something that’s totally borderline inappropriate?” I asked, shifting my weight a little.
“It depends,” he answered, looking a little uncomfortable. “You can ask, but I may not answer, depending on how inappropriate it is.” He smiled slightly.
“Have you been serious with other people to the point of … you know?” He sighed as if he knew the question would come up eventually, but not this soon.
“Yes,” he answered quietly. “It’s more of a reason for me to go slow, especially with you.”
“I’m not breakable,” I said defensively. I was a bit embarrassed that he would see me in such a way.
“Maybe not, but I believe you have a soft heart and I don’t ever want to do whatever that guy back there did to it.” I cringed at his words and pulled away.
“You saw that, huh?” I looked through the windshield. Jensen touched my chin and turned my head toward him.
“I should probably get you home,” he said, “but one more thing before we go.”
Jensen leaned over and kissed me softly. It made me forget my brief embarrassment. The kiss was over almost as soon as it began and Jensen helped me back over to my seat. He even went as far as to buckle me up.
“Got to get you home safe,” he said as he winked at me. I rolled my eyes at his over-the-top behavior.
After pulling up to the curb by my house, we kissed goodbye quickly. Jensen watched me rush up the stairs, unlock the front door and turn to wave before disappearing inside. I shut the door and leaned against it, instantly replaying the whole interaction over and over in my mind. We had just met, but I knew I was falling in love with him.
The next day, I awoke to darkness and noise. I could hear my mom bustling around in the kitchen, clanging dishes with an occasional plunk of her coffee mug on the counter. I waited for her to leave and then swung my legs over the edge of the bed. Soon I heard her start the car and back out of the driveway. I peeked out the window to catch the tail end of her 1990 green Subaru hatchback as it drove away.
My mom and I had been having an estranged relationship since she and my dad had divorced. I hadn’t seen my dad in four years because he lived in California, and my mom thought the entire state of California would be a bad influence on me if I went there to visit him.
I bit my lip, glancing at the clock. It was still early, six-thirty. I let myself fall back on my pillow and stared up at the ceiling as a rush of memories from the previous night flooded over me. I thought about Jensen’s soft fingers touching my face and his soft lips pressing firmly against mine. I hoped we would do it all again soon.
The phone rang unexpectedly and I sat up, blinking with confusion. I picked up the cordless phone I had left in my room the prior night and punched the talk button with my index finger. It was Jensen. He wanted to know if I had slept well and if I wanted to go hiking with him if I had no other plans for the day besides school. I told him that I didn’t—other than giving Aria and Krissa a full report of yesterday’s events—and that I would love to go hiking with him. Jensen asked me to be ready to go by eight o’clock and I agreed. This guy whom I had gotten to know and spend time with didn’t come across to me as the hiker-type, a term usually reserved for those who liked grunge and didn’t shave their arms or legs. This type of person was aptly called a “greenie.”
I hung up and laid in bed for another half-hour replaying the previous day’s events and thinking about the idea of Jensen and me being an item. Happy and full of excitement, I jumped out of bed and went to my closet to pick out a pair of jeans, a purple long-john type of shirt I adored, and a green, No Fear pullover. From there I grabbed clean socks and underwear from my dresser and ran off down the hall to the bathroom.
After spending a bit too much time in the shower, I rushed downstairs with my wet hair dripping and banged around inside the cupboards until I found two packets of maple and brown sugar oatmeal that I would fix and wolf down before racing upstairs to finish getting ready. Once I was finished eating and had brushed my teeth, I put some light make-up on and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. Suddenly thinking it might rain and that a hat might be wise, I went back into my room to find my purple and green plaid No Fear cap. I pulled my brown ponytail through the back and viewed my image in the mirror on the wall. Just the right touch, I thought.
Hearing a car pull up and a short beep sound, I looked out the window to see Jensen leaning against the passenger side of his Jeep with the door open. Seeing me, he motioned to the Jeep’s open door as if he was a chauffeur. I smiled and he laughed, crossing his arms as he waited for me to come outside, lock the front door, and hurry down the front porch stairs.
“Hi there,” was about all I could get out as my heart was racing and my breath was quick.
“Hi,” he said in return, putting his hand on the side of my face and kissing me lightly before helping me into the Jeep.
I could feel the tingling in my stomach as he climbed in beside me, backed the Jeep out of the driveway, and took off in first gear. I reached over to the radio and pushed the round dial to turn it on. Pearl Jam instantly started streaming out of his Fosgates, so I turned it down a tad so we could still carry on a conversation.
“Pearl Jam is cool,” I said, “for grunge.”
Jensen agreed with me and then took my left hand and placed it on top of the gearshift. I wondered what he was doing until he covered my hand with his own, gently but firmly. My heart began to race, and it raced even faster when he asked if I had ever driven a car with a stick-shift. I confessed that I had not done much driving at all, let alone a car with a manual transmission. Jensen chuckled.
“It’s easy,” he said. “When I say when, we’ll shift together.” He then pushed the clutch in and we were ready to take off. Before long we were in fourth gear. There was something definitely erotic about driving a vehicle together.
We continued like that until we reached the trailhead. As we pulled in, I took my hand away as he downshifted and we bounced into an empty, potholed, dirt parking lot. We were the only ones there most likely because it was almost December and snow was midway down the mountain. Actually, it should have been to the bottom already, but the weather had been unseasonably mild thus far.
As I unbuckled myself, Jensen hopped out and rushed around to open my door and help me out. As much as he had done, I still wasn’t used to being treated so well. Before he would let me shut the door, he grabbed me around the waist and held me close. It caught me by surprise and I took in a sharp breath.
“Oops, I’m sorry,” he said, loosening his grip. “I didn’t mean to squeeze you so hard.” Jensen loosened his grip and I in turn encircled my arms around his neck, put my fingers into his hair, and pulled myself closer.
“You didn’t squeeze me hard, you just caught me by surprise,” I whispered as I stood up straight and pulled him closer so that our lips met. His tongue felt frantic as it searched for mine. I parted my lips and felt the immediate spark at our connection. He pulled me closer at the small of my back and I grabbed his hair and pushed my lips more forcefully onto his. My heart raced and I could faintly hear our breathing pick up.
As suddenly as everything had started, it stopped. Jensen pulled himself away, but didn’t take his hands off of me. I looked up at him, confused. His eyes searched mine and he softened his gaze.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean to get carried away.”
“You didn’t, it was my fault,” I assured him.
He leaned down and kissed my neck, working his way up to my ear.
“You’re just too irresistible,” he murmured, his lips at my ear.
“I’ll