By Example: Twelve Personal Missions That Will Maximize Your Human Potential. Travis Slone
called the BLUF, or the bottom line up front. We offer the same for you here.
Simply be where you are, lead by example, and have fun doing it. The rest is in the details.
Simply be where you are... lead by example... and have fun doing it. The rest is in the details. Enjoy the journey!
SPECIAL NOTES
You may find some of the worksheets at psychologytools.com to be excellent during this journey... We’re just saying. Check it out by typing “best free CBT worksheets” into your favorite search engine, and look for a link to psychologytools.com. Find an activity log that works for you. It will come in handy more than once along the way.
Additionally, searching online for images based on the terms ‘emotion wheel’ or ‘the feeling wheel’ may also come in handy when we get to sections about developing your emotional awareness and intelligence. Research has indicated powerful connections between the emotionally sound mind and exceptional leadership abilities. As you may have guessed, many people are unfamiliar with a wide range of emotion words and their various definitions, though there are hundreds. This is a good place to begin, and these diagrams will assist with exercises throughout our book.
As you complete these missions, we encourage you to find and incorporate ideas, tools, and worksheets that you come across along the way. In the end, this journey is designed to empower you as the reader to achieve your own goals, and to be who you want to be. There are no boundaries, and we encourage creativity at all times. Think outside the box, and make the journey that much better.
Finally, we would like you to know that we have made the eBook version of By Example FREE to anyone who has an electronic device on which to read it. Help us spread the word however you are able, and enjoy the mobile companion as you travel this long and challenging road.
MISSION 1
BEGIN WHERE YOU ARE
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” –
Arthur Ashe
We begin this journey with a true story about one of this book’s authors, Travis Slone. As you read, consider the relevance of his story to your own challenges in life, and the importance of beginning where you are.
Many years ago, I passed on an opportunity to play college baseball and joined the Army as a private (E-2). After living my senior year 2,000 miles from my family, I was ready to grow up and be an adult... or so I thought. So, at the age of 18 I decided to kick-start my military career, and perhaps an early retirement. My eventual goal was to become an officer, but I wasn’t quite mature enough for college at that time.
My father had made mention over the years that many of his favorite officers in the Army had prior enlisted service experience, and I trusted my dad’s judgment when it came to being a soldier. He had served almost 30 years in the military, and been entrusted with the highest enlisted rank, Command Sergeant Major (CSM, E-9). Therefore, I thought it would be good to start from the bottom, and work my way up.
As for me, I had grown up faster than most kids would prefer. I was the oldest of three boys, one of which struggled with severe Bipolar Disorder and ADHD since childhood. My awesome mom was the greatest, but she was in and out of hospitals for many years during her battle with chronic Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). When I was 16 years old, my dad got sent to Korea for a year without us, and I remained in Georgia as the ‘man of the house.’ It wasn’t an easy time for our family, but we made it through. I spent much of my high school years playing competitive sports as a way to keep my mind occupied after school, and because I truly enjoyed the games. In some ways, it was my daily escape from the realities of life, which could sometimes feel quite overwhelming.
In an effort to be a better leader both at home and on my teams, I started reading through my old man’s leadership library. I didn’t learn it all of course, but I read enough to know that leadership was my thing, and that the Army was a great place to get that experience. With that in mind, I took my motivation to Fort Sill, OK where my military journey would begin.
Having been exposed mostly to the life of a CSM, I had developed certain ideas about what the Army would be like. For instance, that people would stand up when I entered a room, or stand at parade rest when I spoke, as if everything I had to say was somehow going to change their world. Needless to say, I quickly discovered that those ideas were twenty years detached from reality, and I found myself scrubbing floors and shining boots like every other Private, rather than doing what I considered to be leadership.
I tried to do my best and even had some early success. For one, being in good physical condition when I left for training was a big plus. It allowed me to focus on learning new things such as weapons skills and first aid. For most of my platoon, the physical training was non-stop exhausting work that usually always ended in being yelled at for not doing good enough. So that was where I tried to help my peers, and where I first felt like a leader. In fact, being an athlete was where I excelled most at leadership during those first years in the Army, and it became a large part of my identity as a warrior.
Soon after I changed my worldview, I began to realize that I was surrounded with opportunity.
Overall, I was off to a pretty good start I suppose, but it wasn’t long until I became frustrated with being at the bottom of the food chain, and started to blame others for my situation. It was the system’s fault that I had to wait so long to go to a promotion board. It was my supervisor’s fault for not recognizing my potential and putting it to use. Whatever frustrations came up, I found someone else to blame. Within a few years, I had created reasons for why I would leave the service, return home, and be the leader who the Army wouldn’t let me be.
Fortunately, my father was a wise man, and he stepped in with some good advice as usual. He convinced me that ‘the Army’ doesn’t typically do things to people, or treat them good or bad. He told me about how it was simply a large organization, in which the people do these things to one another, and even to themselves. “It is people who accomplish the missions, and people who live the Army Values,” he would say. “You can either run from the problem, or stick around and be the one to fix it.”
Needless to say, I stuck around and tried to improve my attitude. Eventually, I came to realize that if I wanted to succeed in life, I would have to play my roles very well. That included the role of Private First Class, as non-prestigious as I considered it to be in the realm of leadership. So, from that day forward I started trying to lead by example, for that was my only responsibility at the time. It wasn’t as easy as it sounded, but if I was ever going to lead others, I first had to become master of myself.
Soon after I changed my worldview, I began to realize that I was surrounded with opportunity. In fact, I always had been... I just lacked awareness. I was not living in the present moment, but was dwelling on the past and future instead. Ironically, in an effort to be in control, I had somehow lost control of everything.
Then, just as I was deciding to get my life back in gear, things really got crazy. As a young married Specialist (E-4) with a one-year-old daughter and a near-perfect record of health, I suddenly became dizzy... and then fell to the ground while at work. That very day, my world changed forever. At 22 years old, I was unlikely to live until my next