Hector Trogg's Perfect World. P. A. Booth
definitely. There’s nothing a soldier can do against a tank. Several were shot at. It was a miracle that we only had one small injury,’ said the Colonel.
‘So, some stupid people effectively killed themselves, and if you hadn’t acted Hector there would be several families in the camp, and maybe elsewhere, who would be preparing funerals for husbands, brothers, fathers. The Colonel is quite correct, it is a big thing, but think of the people who didn’t die, and think about them sat with their families tonight, unharmed and happy.’
Colonel Bertrand nodded a quiet thank you. There was a pause. The only sounds were a quiet radio playing, the breathing of the soldiers and Hector slurping his tea.
‘How did these people know that Kate and Hector were in a tank?’ asked Chatterton, gaining in confidence.
‘We think there are at least two sources, one French and one British,’ said the Colonel, ‘We really do think this, we are not just saying there is a British source to even it up and escape any embarrassment.’
‘What’s a source?’ asked Hector.
‘Someone who is leaking information to the criminals,’ Chatterton explained.
‘The plan now,’ said the Colonel, ‘is to clear the camp of some families and staff, take you back there and wait for an attack. If no attack comes you will go back to England.’
‘No zoo trip then?’ asked Hector, ‘The important person in Paris said we could go to the zoo.’
‘The important person in Paris; you remember Hector the one who was speaking when you ruined my aquarium? Well that person; the same one who you told about me not listening to his call because I was rescuing fish, getting me into all of that trouble? Yes, Hector, you remember? Well, he might be the source, the leak,’ said the Colonel. Kate could see Pierre and Andrè grinning at each other.
‘The important person will not expect me to take you to the zoo after the attack today, so that is exactly what I will really do,’ said the Colonel.
‘We will make it look as though you have returned to the camp. In a while, I want you to get into the armoured car and out of the other side into the small car that is waiting. You will go with Pierre, Andrè and Mrs Warp.’
‘Mrs Warp!’ exclaimed Kate, ‘I thought she was dead.’
‘There is more than one Mrs Warp,’ Colonel Bertrand explained, ‘And this time, because of the malfunction, I want both of you to have a remote override.’
The Colonel presented them each with a small round disk with a red button on it.
‘All you have to do is press the button and Mrs Warp will obey your next command no matter what it is,’ said Colonel Bertrand.
A noise outside drew Kate’s attention. There was activity; two people were speaking with the soldiers.
‘Ahh, but this is why we are really here,’ Colonel Bertrand said with a huge smile on his face.
Hector looked to the window.
‘Kate, Hector,’ said Colonel Bertrand to attract their attention, ‘I have some generally good news. Your father is much recovered, but he has suffered a small amount of brain damage.’
Hector just stared at the Colonel, while Kate felt as though her chair had suddenly been dragged from under her, allowing her to slip into the underworld.
‘It is not so bad,’ said the Colonel quickly as he saw their reactions, ‘but this is why you have not seen him. However, he has still not completely recovered. People who have head injuries can feel depressed sometimes for months afterwards. He may also be more bad tempered.’
‘More bad tempered?’ questioned Hector, ‘How is that possible? When our outhouse was burgled, and Dad saw two men with iron bars breaking in, he chased them all through the park, even on the cycle path.’
‘There isn’t a cycle path in the park,’ Kate corrected, ‘I think you mean like a psychopath. That’s how everyone describes him; a deranged psychopath.’
‘Well, your father is very welcome to chase burglars around the local town here, I would enjoy the spectacle,’ said the Colonel. ‘However, the key thing is that we must all be patient and kind and understanding, even if he is a little angry about things. Remember, he has been very worried about you, and your mother has been ringing me almost every hour.’
The four of them sat in silence for a minute while Mum and Dad displayed their passports and were checked for weapons, made their way past the guards, and then through into the small cafe.
Kate immediately ran to hug them both. She was followed just after by Hector, who felt unsure what to do, until Colonel Bertrand gave him a firm push. Mum was in silent tears while Dad had a very grim and set look on his face.
It was Mum who first broke the silence.
‘Thank you very much for looking after them,’ she began, speaking to Colonel Bertrand. Keith Chatterton quickly introduced himself, and then sat down again.
‘Mrs Trogg, you have two clever, resourceful and very brave children. In the latest attack, it was your children who saved some of my men,’ said the Colonel, as Kate and Hector both went red, basking in the praise, and yet embarrassed by the attention.
‘There’s been another attack?’ asked Dad.
Colonel Bertrand explained what had happened on the tank range. Mum listened in open-mouthed horror as the Colonel described events. Again, Kate was surprised by how much Colonel Bertrand knew. The Colonel again lavished praise on Hector and Kate, and it was then that Dad really spoke for the first time.
‘What the hell were they doing in a tank?’ he shouted, staring straight at Colonel Bertrand.
The Colonel took a deep breath and explained that it was a treat to distract them, that he had incidentally been ordered to do this, but also that a tank was normally a very safe place to be.
‘Not on a bloody battlefield it isn’t!’ Dad shouted, continuing to stare aggressively at the Colonel, ‘You were supposed to be protecting them, not asking them to man the guns because everyone else was off cooking and cleaning.’
The Colonel paused again, and then started to explain that he could understand that it had been a horrible time, and that Dad was worried and angry. However, he had to appreciate that there had never been a case of anyone stealing old tanks and attacking an army firing range before.
‘I don’t give a damn about your weak excuses,’ Dad yelled, picking up a cream cake from the table and throwing it at the Colonel.
‘Dad!’ exclaimed Kate.
‘Trevor!’ pleaded Mum.
Thick dollops of cream splattered the Colonel’s otherwise immaculate uniform. Hector could see Andrè and Pierre trying to conceal their grins.
Colonel Bertrand had obviously decided to take another pause and a much deeper breath. He looked down at his uniform and flicked a blob of cream away. Unfortunately, the blob jetted through the air and landed on Dad’s arm.
Dad flew to the counter and picked up two more cakes and hurled them at the Colonel. The Colonel’s temper had finally snapped, and while muttering something in French, he hurled one of them back.
Mum and Kate were looking on in horror, but Hector was suddenly back in his element. He had missed the food fight at school between two of his friends just by accident, but now was a chance to make up for that big style.
Hector darted for some cakes and began to hurl them at Andrè and Pierre, hoping to get them into the fight. Dad and the Colonel were throwing food at each other, but they both really meant it, as if this was the only way they could avoid getting that little bit closer and throwing punches.
To Hector’s disappointment neither Andrè nor Pierre retaliated. Some of the other soldiers, who took some pretty