Creating Happiness Intentionally. Sandy MacGregor
Leader, Coach, Associate, Company Director, Salesperson, Colleague, Customer, Doctor, Entrepreneur, Service Provider, Student, Supervisor, Teacher, Writer, Worker, Visionary, Wage Slave, Mover and Shaker, Subordinate, Co-Worker, Lawyer, Leader, Counsellor, Delegator.
Personal and Family Roles.
Friend, Mother, Father, Son, Daughter, Sister, Brother, Acquaintance, Neighbour, Aunt, Uncle, Cousin, Grandparent, Grandchild, Niece, Nephew, Stepfather, Stepmother, Husband, Wife, Lover, Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Godparent.
Citizen Roles.
Elder, Community Activist, Crime Fighter, Politician, Advocate, Beautifier, Coach, Agent of Change, Office holder, Voter, Revolutionary, Reactionary, Neighbour, Nature Lover, Conservationist, Philanthropist, Organiser, Volunteer, Council Member, Member of Parliament, Letter Writer, Scout Leader, School Worker.
Mind Exercise No. 2 – Alone With My Deepest Thoughts
Now take some time to ask yourself:
“What roles do I play in relation to: .....…..”
Write your answers in the blank spaces.
....... My Family Life?
Answer:
....... My Social Life?
Answer
....... My Profession/Job/Career.
Answer
....... My Spiritual Life?
Answer
Now put your mind to thinking about your circle of friends and all the people you know now or have met in the past. Ask yourself these questions and write down the answers as they come to you:
Who is the happiest person you know?
Answer:
What does that person do that you could learn from?
Answer
What qualities does he/she have?
Answer
Who are the five people you like and respect the most?
Answer
What qualities do they have?
Answer
What do they do that you could learn from?
Answer
Here are some questions to just think on. You don’t have to write down the answers now. Just think about them as you are reading further in this book.
Who am I really?
Why do I feel I exist?
What am I accomplishing in life?
Where do I want life to lead me?
List the ten things you like MOST about yourself:
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10.
List the ten things you like LEAST about yourself:
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10.
Having considered the above exercises, you may have identified some issues which you need to let go from your stream of consciousness.
When you come to consider the idea of “Letting Go” you need to come to grips with one important fact. It is absolutely within your vested interest in life to be able to let go mental and emotional barriers you may have set up in the past. I am not suggesting you have to let go because of some moral, ethical or religious standpoint. I am not suggesting to let go just because it is a good thing to do. There is no doubt in my mind that, whilst letting go might be good on moral, ethical or religious grounds, it can also be justified on the hard headed grounds of self interest.
What types of things am I referring to when I suggest you need to let go? They are the things like resentment and guilt, the tendency to blame and the tendency to make nasty judgments about other people or situations. None of these things can improve our self esteem or create the ideal circumstances for a better, happier, future.
Let’s take resentment. There is no doubt that we all have sources of resentment in our lives. This is quite normal. There is also no doubt that many of the sources of resentment may be quite well justified. You may have been deeply wronged by others at past times in your life. You may have truly been a victim and, with a sense of righteous indignation, truly believe you are morally entitled to carry that resentment forever.
However, in doing this, you will severely limit your ability to achieve happiness. The first bad effect of carrying resentment is that you will constantly focus on the injustice and the fact of your victim-hood. By doing this you will constantly be reminding yourself that you are a victim. You may adopt a victim mentality and once you have done that you have automatically positioned yourself at a low point on the self esteem scale.
The other fact is that by harbouring resentment, you are simply using energy for a negative purpose rather than for a positive purpose. Your mind can become needlessly clouded with negativity. Though you may feel justified in maintaining your resentment – the act of doing it works against your vested interests.
The same logic applies to guilt you may have about some of your past actions. As there may be valid causes of resentment in your life, so too there may be valid reasons why you should feel guilty about things you have done in your life. No life is perfect and we have all caused hardship and pain to others by our wrongful acts in the past. The recognition of our wrongful actions in the past is the basis of guilt.
But for how long should you endlessly carry the guilt for something you have done in the past? To advocate letting go guilt is not to advocate a heartless self denial of what you have done in the past. If there are sources of guilt you need to confront these and do what you can to make good the situation. If the situation cannot be made good, then you might need to make an honest and heartfelt intention to improve your actions in the future. Whatever the causes of your guilt, it is actually impossible to ever completely undo your wrong doing, no matter what your intentions might now be. But to persist with guilt will only create feelings of self loathing which not only inhibit your progress, but also make it more likely you may repeat your harmful actions.
Precisely the same line of logic applies to other mental barriers such as the tendency to blame others and to make judgments about them.
The big question is, “Can any mental effort expended on the quagmires of resentment, guilt, blame, judgment and others serve any purpose in pursuing your future happiness?” I believe the answer is a resounding “No!” I have met many successful business people in my life